Facebook - Idiots complaining about idiots

Let out a little sigh and give me a big eye roll because here comes yet another blogger’s perspective on stupid Facebook posts. What can I say; it’s been a little bit of a dull week here.

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 Is what I have to say original? I doubt it. I’m shooting for mildly entertaining. If not that, then I’ll take making you add “annoying blogs about annoying Facebook stuff” to your list of annoying Facebook stuff. Here we go:

Perpetual “likers”

You probably don’t know this person well. In fact, you might not be sure how you got connected with this person in the first place. But they like every damn thing you post. Every. Damn. Thing.

“Got that promotion! Bring on the margaritas!”

Like.

“Tough day at work. Margaritas later?”

Like.

“F-I-R-E-D. Good thing I stocked up on booze ‘cause I need to drink straight tequila right now.”

I’m not sure how anyone can “Like” this…but someone does.

“I’m broke and depressed. My dog died. I haven’t showered for 3 days and I have no booze in the house. Bring me something. I’ll drink anything, even Boone’s Farm”.

You guessed it – LIKE!

Perpetual “taggers”

If we’re Facebook friends and you take my picture, heck yeah, tag me. Unless I look fat, shiny or I’m adjusting my bra strap. Then, forget we know each other.

There’s a news article about adoption? Tag me. Because I have adopted, I’m most certainly interested in anything written on the subject.  Especially pet adoption. I love that.

Something on MSN travel about West Virginia? Well yes, since that is the state of my birth, please tag me. I especially like being tagged in any article or picture that contains the word “hillbilly” or that makes reference to not owning shoes.

Something on Yahoo news about vaginas? Well yes, I’m female and a mom. Tag me twice.

People who rant about not wanting to come to your farm or be in your mafia

People of Facebook – just deal. Some of us want to farm and be in the mafia while online. Who knows why, really? There are people who want to crush your candy and blitz your  jewels (whatever that even means; sounds like it might hurt). Turn the other cheek if it’s not your thing. Posting a Mein Kampf on how you hate Farmville? No one cares. Ignore.

Fan pages posting repeats to make sure everyone in every time zone everywhere sees their latest literary tidbits.

“Here’s a link to my latest blog post on belly button lint. Share if you know someone who needs to be lint free!  

It gets better;

“Hey all you CST zone partay people! I’m reposting a link from an hour ago. Wanted to make sure no one missed my awesome post about belly button lint. Like and share, please!”

OK, lint girl. We got it. But no;

“Hey, for the one person in Australia who likes my page, this is for you. Like and share with everyone you know!”

Comes across as a little needy, but whatever. Maybe belly button lint is really that important.

People who post pics/status updates of seriously ill about-to-go-to-urgent care kids.

“Poor little Josephine has a fever of 105. Advice, please!”

Ummmm…really? Get off Facebook, step away from your phone and go take care of your kid already.

I once saw a status update that was a photo of a thermometer with a reading of 106 and an “I don’t feel so well comment”. Who does that? I later found out the poster was certifiably cray cray (for real) and totally blamed it on the delirium of fever.

People who post selfies at the gym.

If you want the world to see how ripped you are, just ask someone to take a picture of your delts. The he-man (or she-man) poses in the gym mirror are just weird.

Fundraising that begins with “we need your help” or “we can’t do this without you”.

Everyone is asking for money for something these days and social media makes it super easy to ask other people to pay for our stuff. If I don’t buy a Scentsy warmer from Mom X right now the Class of 2017 will have a sucky prom. I am not sure how I sleep at night.

People who post screenshots of their personal drama

Thanks to technology I can share the snarky text my husband sent me with the world. Mind you, I can’t actually do that because I can’t figure out how, but my Facebook wall says it’s possible. I know we’re free to blast our dirt on social media but there’s just something dirty about sharing communications meant to be private. Besides, hubs would never send me a snarky text. Mostly because he does not text me, ever.

Posting selfies that aren’t selfies

According to Sissy, if you post a picture on Facebook and call it a selfie, it can only be of…well, yourself. I thought a selfie was any picture with me in it where I also act as the photographer, but clearly I’m misinformed. That one was for you, Sissy.

And finally, people who have their house listed as a Facebook “check in” location.

So-and-so just checked in at 402 Elm Street; or Mr. Brown is at “Casa de Brown” with Mrs. Brown. What’s that about? Someone is home now so this is a bad time to come and rob us?

I’m okay with hashtags, pictures of food, and potty training updates. With the exception listed above, I don’t mind the “check in” obsessed because hey, I like knowing when my friends go to Home Depot. I’m cool with recipes, prayer requests and “look at me I worked out today”. Even the “vaugebookers” don’t bug me that much. You know, posts like “I’ve lost my faith in mankind” that are screaming for the “oh hon, what’s wrong?” comments. But the stuff I described above? Drives. Me. Nuts.

I’ve done some of the things on my own list and I’ve probably done most things that most of my fellow Facebookers would call annoying. I’m sure some of the stuff I’ve posted has brought eye rolls, speculation on whether or not I’ve lost my mind and even a few dreaded unfriends.

I try not to take social media too seriously, and neither should you. And yes, we have the free will to choose who we remain connected to on social media. If someone’s gym selfies or perpetual liking really bugs you, cut the ties or don’t look.

I look at it this way: gives me more to laugh at. And sometimes, a good eye roll can be fun.

What peeves you about Facebook?

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