The Social Network: Facebook Status Updates about the Facebook Movie

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The real impact of social networking while at workDeb Rox Is heading out to the 12:01 am show  to see the Facebook movie -- formally known as The Social Network, starring that cute Jesse Eisenberg dude from Zombieland.  I've been sucked into seeing it because of all the promotion Facebook mack daddy Mark Zuckerberg has provided the film while complaining about its inaccuracies and then coincidentally giving $100 million to New Jersey schools last week -- and I want to see it at the first viewing so I don't bump into spoilers on Facebook.  Come on, join me. Leave your footie pajamas on, I'll buy popcorn.
 
Deb Rox is the oldest person here.  Trying to not attract attention -- these punks scare me with their cameras and propensity to post inappropriate captions alongside photos of strangers. Although little do they know, I might be old enough to be their mother but I have the same skills, several platforms and a bigger StumbleUpon reach.  Oh, snap.
 
Deb Rox OMG y'all. Thanks SO much for *not* coming to see the movie with me.  You call yourselves friends? (JK)
 
Deb Rox So it turns out Facebook started because a twerpy Ivy League prep is spurned by his girlfriend and rejected by social clubs and seeks revenge, power and glory by degrading female students and reducing the word "friend" to mean "leveraged tool in one's social climb to nowhere."  No wonder I hate Facebook.
 
Deb Rox Coding is byzantine and sexy! Perl. Bill Gates is daydreaming about his heir apparent! Subertfuge and intrigue! Lies, oh the lies! It's like the Tudors minus brocade plus sweatshirts and flipflops.
 
Deb Rox Christ, what an asshole. 
 
Deb Rox Justin Timberlake! It's about time. He's superfly as Napster's Sean Parker. First, you put your peer-to-peer in a box.
 
Deb Rox is out of Diet Coke.
 
Deb Rox wants to rewrite this film to insert some fabulous female characters.  Rewrite the film, and maybe even rewrite Silicon Valley history.
&nspbsp
Deb Rox Okay, this is basically a Morality Play about Friendship & Isolation dipped in a caramel coating of Start Up Porn and rolled in Disaffected Cynicism sprinkles. The stereotypical male version of backstabbing your way to billions as per always. When Zuckerberg's GF broke up with him she said "Dating you is like dating a Stairmaster" which is a good way of describing male-dominated tech: big numbers, lots of traffic, but you're just stuck in it.  Who knows if there is a there there if you never arrive anywhere? Where's the redemptive heart?  Sigh.
 
Deb Rox Now I'm feeling kind of sorry for the guy.  Kinda wish I were Zuckerbergs' mother. Imagine him as a toddler.  (It's actually not that much of a stretch.) I would have lovingly washed his little 4T hoodies, supported the intelligence obvious when observing his complicated lego constructions, but also given him some guidance in social intelligence.  If I could have nipped that snide attitude on the playground, and then years later when he made The Facebook, he would have designed it so everyone had log their ongoing charitable activity instead of giving a relationship status, and image that!  My smart little goodhearted Markie.  Leave Mark alone!
 
Deb Rox If Facebook had a Facebook, its relationship status would say "I've pissed off everyone but they still want me, plus I'm super rich!  CEO, bitch! I win!"
 
Deb Rox Forgot to update because I was actually into the movie.  Good writing, fast pace, kind of fun if you don't mind frequent feelings of wanting to give frat boys a timeout. Also, I got a Diet Coke refill about 10 minutes ago, so it's all good.  Who wants to see Catfish tomorrow?
 
Deb Rox and 100010100101 others like this movie. Mark Zuckerberg does not like this movie. Make this your status update.

 

 

Contributing Editor Deb Rox believes you should blog like a freaking butterfly, sting like a Tweet, and stay far, far away from Facebook.

Photo Credit: Robert S. Donovan

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