Facts on Farting

Facts About Farting

I didn't want to do a throwaway, mindless movie with fart jokes just to make 6-year-olds laugh.  I want to provide my children with some substance.  ~Fred Durst

Fart Facts Aunt Heather PiperI'm not normally the slap stick, stupid humor type of writer...well sometimes I am, but this one is silly yet educational.  My family is going to kill me for sharing this humor, so I will keep it general and not give too much detail.

First, I want to comment on how tight our family is.  Probably too close according to some.  Not only do we speak our minds, anything that appears up in the cranium cavity exits our mouths; but our rear-ends are free to speak as well.  We are not shy about belching and we certainly are no strangers to flatulence.  Some may say we are simple honest open people, while others may say we are gross and improper.  Now don't get me wrong, we don't act like barbarians in public and around others.  We do practice our manors, but I'm talking about behind closed doors in the privacy of our own home among family.

To be honest, I thought everyone was like us, well maybe not as dedicated, but certainly open.  Nope!  I was just recently talking to a good friend of mine who commented that her and her husband do not fart around each other and they've been married for over a decade.  Having to confirm what was just declared, I had her reiterate that they do not fart around each other.  Seriously, I was in shock!  Really?  I just couldn't believe it!   You don't fart around one another?  To make a comparison from my point-of-view I explained the general Piper practices.  I'm sure there are others who agree with her, but that wouldn't be my family.  And come on, EVERYONE farts!

Now sticking to the theme, I want to tell you about a joke in our house.  My dad was watching something on TV, probably Dr. Phil since dad has this infatuation with him, I don't know why but I'll move off of that topic.  Dad said "I heard on TV when someone farts they are...

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