A Fairy Tale Homecoming? No. Teen Gang Raped As Crowd Looks On
by Police in Richmond, California say a 15-year old girl was gang raped at school, during Homecoming.
Let me repeat that. Gang raped AT SCHOOL.
CNN has the details:
A California high school student who police said was gang raped in a two-and-a-half-hour assault outside a homecoming dance remained hospitalized in stable condition Monday, two days after she was flown from the attack scene in critical condition. As of late Monday, two suspects had been arrested in the case and a third was being questioned.
The suspects are teenagers too. And allegedly a group of perhaps a dozen stood by and watched. STOOD BY AND WATCHED for more than two hours.
As a woman, as the mother of a daughter, as a human I am in utter disbelief at this mob mentality.
It gets worse. CNN reports she was raped by at least four people. Lt. Mark Gagan of the police department in Richmond says,
"As people announced over time that this was going on, more people came to see, and some actually participated."
Despite this taking place on school grounds, as school district spokesman told ABC News it was ultimately the parent's responsibility to get their child safely home from a dance.
What do you think of that? Do you believe schools are inherently a safe place to leave your child for a dance? Or do you agree with the district that it's your job? Does Richmond need a "Take Back the Night" walk? Do we all need a reminder?
I'm shocked, appalled, and have been teary eyed since I read this. I can't be the only one.
QueenMotherBlog on twitter writes, "That's just awful. Extra disturbing are the people who stood around and watched...no one could slip away and call police? :("
Feather14 says, "...I heard this and was just shocked and sickened."
Daily_Pinch writes, "Heard that on NPR this morning and still have no idea what to say to it...stunned might be understatement."
Tell me what you think.
Contributing Editor Erin Kotecki Vest also blogs at Queen of Spain blog
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Comments
I'm just...Ugh. There are no
I'm just...
Ugh. There are no words.
- Maria Young
http://immoralmatriarch.com twitter.com/maria0305
I'm still stunned at the district's response
I assume they are thinking 'lawsuit' but seriously, have some compassion. Save the 'it's the parents job to get her home ok' bs for the trial.
Politics & News Contributing Editor Queen of Spain
yep, always the parents' fault
Like it's not horrible enough that hundreds of parents of teenage girls in that district are terrified for the safety and well-beings of their daughters now, the school board throws it back on the parents?
That was a defensive and thoughtless response. I'd like to chalk it up to anxiety and a lack of media training, than than the heartlessness that comes across.
Mom-101
Cool Mom Picks
The district's response is a crime itself!
I'm so enraged by this crime that I can't get it off my mind.
I wrote more about it in this post.
http://www.5minutesformom.com/10208/im-enraged/
Here's an excerpt...
I am so sick of people blaming 'the parents' for these types of situations. There is NO EXCUSE!
Yes, it's a poor neighborhood. Yes, it's a rough neighborhood. Yes, security is expensive.
I don't care. None of it is any excuse. All kids deserve to be SAFE. Especially on school grounds!!! I don't care what neighborhood a child lives in, they deserve to be SAFE. And until this country really, really believes that, these crimes will continue to happen.
We're sending kids out into gang ruled war zones every day and it's just accepted. It's a rough neighborhood. I say treat it like the WAR that it is and FIX it!!!
Every child deserves to be SAFE. Yes, even in that part of town!
Susan (5 Minutes for Mom)
http://www.5minutesformom.com
http://twitter.com/5minutesformom
For those who want to help the girl...
(not in direct reply to your comment here, but I wanted it to show up early for folks who mightn't read on):
Richmond High School is accepting cards and donations for the victim and her family. They can be mailed to the school at 1250 23rd St., Richmond, CA 94804-1011. Make checks out to the Richmond High Student Fund.
SF Bay Area local paper coverage from October 28: "5 now in custody in Richmond High gang rape"
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/10/28/BA621ABOF6.DTL&tsp=1
Another Good Thing
Something else you can do to help something positive come of this horrible tragedy, which I've seen mentioned later in the comments and elsewhere, is to talk to your own kids. I'm sure all of the parents here are great, involved parents, but I don't think we as a society should assume that kids know what to do when they seem someone else being attacked or bullied any more than we assume that they know about drugs or alcohol. Most parents would see this story and think "my child would never do something like that," but I can almost guarantee that at least one parent of one of the kids who either actively or passively participated in this girl's rape thought the exact same thing.
If you have school-aged kids, then they're old enough for this talk. Whether you tell them about this specific crime or how much detail you share is up to you, but I can think of no better time or reason to talk about seeing another person being mistreated, what your child may have already witnessed, and what to do in different situations.
Sara
www.inkandpixelclub.com
I can't believe it happened in my Northern
California backyard
Maria's right. There are no words. I would go to a Take Back the Night march in Richmond.
I am physically ill right now...
I heard this story late last night. I still feel like throwing up. I still feel like crying. I couldn't fall asleep, and just kept praying that she had been drugged so she wouldn't remember any of it. Or, I hope she was conscious and memorized every single one of those faces in the crowd. The faces that raped her. The faces that watched. For two hours. For two hours. And those faces? I hope they burn.
Melissa Wardy
Pigtail Pals, LLC
www.pigtailpals.com
Shocked.
I am utterly shocked by the district's response! Have they no compassion at all? Are they honestly so far removed from the lives of their students that they actually refuse to take responsibility for something that happened while they were responsible for that child? Would it have made a difference if it was during school hours, and not at a dance?
Next they'll be saying she shouldn't have worn what she did...
What a horrible way to add insult to injury for this poor girl and her family.
A Mom Uncommon | @heathergerlaugh
No words is right. It does
No words is right.
It does seem a little soon for the school to start passing the buck. They were better off saying "This matter is be further investigated, and we will do what ever it takes to cooperate with the authorities. We are doing what it takes to ensure our school is a safe place. Our thought is with the victim"
Their statement lacks any sort of heart, that is scary in and of itself
~Susan
The Somethyme Writer
Appalled
And from reports I've read, the girl's father was looking for her while all of this was happening. The poor child. Sickened at what she had to endure.
There's something seriously, outrageously wrong when witnesses TO A CRIME become spectators, and spectators become participants.
@Cyn3matic
Sick.
What the hell is wrong with people today? Who was supervising the dance? How could people get involved? How could the district take that stance - if they get sued its because the whole thing is seriously screwed up and if they can't even attempt to make schools a safe place then they need to be repalced. The whole thing makes me INSANELY sick. I can only pray she has the strength to prosecute everyone - even if they "just" stood by and they get sent away for a long time. God knows there were enough witnesses.
I just read this to my co-workers.
That girl's life is in ruins. We send our love and support from Kansas City.
Rita Arens writes at Surrender Dorothy and BlogHer and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak.
No words
There are no words to describe how angry this makes me. Mostly just sputtering and resisting the urge to kick things.
Sassymonkey and Sassymonkey Reads.
I am sickened by this
This poor girl. To be attacked by her rapists, again by the crowd, and yet again by the school district? "Ultimately it is the parent's responsibility ...." my a$$! The correct response is "we will be working closely with law enforcement to identify everyone who participated, either directly or indirectly by watching, and will be prosecuting them to the fullest extent of the law for crimes taking place ON SCHOOL PROPERTY!" Oh, and you can add that "we will be beefing up security to make sure this never happens to another student, EVER!"
Right now, I kind of hope they castrate them all! Not really. Well, maybe a little bit.
The school's reaction is callous
and completely disingenious.
Schools are entrusted with the care of our children. The legal theory is parentis in loco, "in the place of parents." It's the same doctrine that allows drug testing of teens and locker searches and even more aggrgious personal intrusions.
But it's the deal we make with the school. You get to have power over my kids but you are also responsible for their safety and well being.
I wish the victim a speedy recovery and a miserable prison sentence for the rapists.
Too removed from humanity
Are we really that removed from humanity? As if the parents don't feel sick enough by this- the district's response was appalling.
The fact that this poor girl was dehumanized with so many watching ...
I can't.
MommyJenn writes at MommyNaniBooboo.com
OMG!
Please tell me this isn't the mentality of the generation we are raising....I am crying for that poor girl and can assure you that if MY child was in that school at the time of the incident and did nothing- they would be afraid to come home. PERIOD.
What a horrific act for teens to be so insensitized to...and then the school to have the nerve to say that the parents are responsible for making sure their child "gets home safely". She wasn't on her way home, she was being gang raped at a school dance. Wow, I better stop now before my blood pressure becomes anymore elevated!
Melissa Smallwood
www.multitaskingmama.com
Nauseating
That made me physically sick. Trying to imagine what that poor girl went through, for TWO hours, with all of those people standing around watching and no one helping...
It's right out of the Jodie Foster movie "The Accused" which I had to walk out on.
As a survivor myself, I hope they'll be able to get both justice and psychological help for her.
---------------------------
I think, therefore I blog.
Bull Sh*t
I was raped my senior year of high school ,wasn't on school grounds or during school time, but they had an opinion. I worked with a reporter on an article for the city paper about rape, she withheld my name, but I wanted the high school included so that the perception wouldn't be, "Oh that girl was from the wrong side of the tracks." I got called into the principal's office after it ran and a witch hunt ensued for who the girl had been. I was told the school name should have been omitted, it reflected poorly on the school, he said. It's just crap and women/girls get assaulted again and again.
I am sick at thinking of this poor woman and the animals who participated, spectated and worse, those who shirk any responsibility.
Amandahttp://amandamagee.com
Completely shocked
As a mother of 5 girls I wish I could put them in a protective bubble after reading stories like this.My heart is breaking for this poor girl.
How does the school district justify shrugging it's shoulders and not taking any sort of responsibility?! This girl's life has been completely ripped apart. Made even worse that it was done at her school by fellow classmates. As if it could get any worse.
I am really baffled that there are boys out there that think it's OK for this to happen to a girl and then to take part in it. Two and a half hours?! My god.
Walking in Take Back the Night is a good idea - a great way to show support for those who often have to face the shame and hurt of being raped alone.
I am totally outraged - both that the rapists and the school disctrict that is supposed to protect our kids. I am in total shock and angry.
I was really upset by this news last night
But unfortunately, I was not that surprised that no one tried to stop it, because I've already heard of too, too many recent cases when people witnessed a crime and declined to help stop it or even try to report that it was happening. Because I've personally been a victim of (much lesser) crimes myself in public places, more than once, and no witness has ever stopped to help. Because I've seen schools make terrible, terrrible mistakes that hurt students and then, rather than try to help the students they failed, try to cover the problem up.
Because I've watched America, the richest nation on Earth, let American children die of toothaches, let 9/11 rescue workers suffer with asthma and cancer, and let an entire American city drown.
I feel like our whole culture is currently infected with Not My Problem syndrome. From call center customer service employees to federal government officials, no one wants to take responsibility for anything, ever.
Despite my unfortunate lack of surprise, I am really, really, appalled at the event, and at the school's response. You are right, Erin. I don't care if the district feels the need for legal CYA. The school official who said that should be fired.
But more importantly, I think we all as a culture need to take a long look at ourselves and ask why it has apparently become a cultural norm to consider acting as our brothers' and sisters' keepers too troublesome to even try.
Jaelithe, you really got to
Jaelithe, you really got to the heart of what bothered me so much about the story. I'm disgusted by the rapists and disheartened by the school district's quote, but I'm completely horrified that a crowd of people stood by and did absolutely nothing.
Julie @ The Mom Slant
This starts in elementary school, as soon as
one child
witnesses another child being bullied in any manner, and does nothing, saying nothing, stands by the side, and we don't hold that child accountable as much as the bully. It's a "sin of omission", if you want to go that far, that we say, "It's okay, it doesn't concern you, you did nothing wrong."
Wrong. Wrong. And Wrong.
"I was scared" is a response.
"I could have been next" is a response.
"It wouldn't have mattered if I had done something" is a response.
But ultimately, if we aren't teaching our kids from day one that as responses, these are nothing more than excuses, and if we aren't holding our own children to consequences for not acting when another human being is being harmed, then we are all part of the problem. Self-righteous much? Absolutely. If we don't hold ourselves, our children, to higher standards, then we have very little room to complain when the "bad guys" come looking for us and no one acts to help us.
"But standing by and watching a girl get raped is much different than standing by and watching Sally Ann get shunned in the lunch room." That sounds like a convenient excuse of playing degrees.
The "gangs" of "really bad kids" are always smaller than the majority of good kids, right? Unless, ultimately, there really are more bad kids - including our own - who allow the few good kids to be harmed. Doing the right thing isn't sometimes hard; it's *usually* hard. It still has to be done. Or else. That kids who step in and do something when another kid is being teased or bullied are usually seen as kids of exceptional character and out-of-the-ordinary is a crying shame and should be a parenting embarrassment. Stepping in should be the least someone is doing.
Does this piss me off, too? You bet. And instead of hand-wringing and pointing my finger at "those bad kids" and "parents of those bad kids", I'm going to point it at myself. I can't change what other people do; I can only change what goes on in my house, maybe my school. What parent here is willing to have their own child called in to the principal's office or to guidnace counselor, undergo one-on-one anti-bullying counseling, when their child was "only" the onlooker who did nothng, said nothing when Billy shoved Susy in the playground? That's where it starts...all of it, from highschool dances and beyond to larger injustices against humans.
Halushki.com
Bravo
You hit the nail on the head Jaelithe. Thanks for getting to the bigger issue.
Mom-101
Cool Mom Picks.com
Shame on them, all.
The school should be ashamed of treating this young woman the way her rapists did as something to toss around and let others deal with the consequences. When did we as a culture stop worrying about the victim, stop wanting to help and start wondering how to protect ourselves first?
This is horrifying
This is horrifying to me. I have a 15 year old daughter, I can't imagine this happening to my daughter.
As I just spent this past Saturday with my daughter shopping for a dress for homecoming in two weeks.
How can someone stand by and watch this? I just don't understand this.... it's beyond words.
Erin Ely
http://elyorganics.com/
The principal responded too
That's incredibly horrible. As soon as we see something that outlines a way to help that girl or donate to local support services for her, let's share that information please!
Some school district person appears to have said a stupid thing. But I don't think that should reflect on the school's leadership or even on the whole district, in that they may not be trying to pass the buck. The principal of the school made some statements to media, check this article from the SF Chronicle:
-----------------
Liz Henry
Composite: Tech & Poetics
lizzard@bookmaniac.net
stunned
This really shakes me to the core. What a horrible story.
I call BS
There are laws that say that we should be able to assume a reasonable amount of safety for our children while at school. I don't care what time of day or what kind of event, since Columbine there has been 'reasonable' security at the schools whenever an event is going on. The school was negligent PERIOD. I also call out the other students that watched. Really? This is no small fistfight we're talking about here. Unbelievable.