False Humility is Sneaky
When I was a young Christian, I thought that humility and sanctity meant ascetic fasting and heroic acts of faith just like all the great saints. I discovered later that these sorts of practices often focus more on self than on God. This attitude is actually a subtle sort of self-delusion that is difficult to discern. Self generated, pious actions actually drive me further from God.
I cannot earn His love or Presence. I cannot save myself. It took decades to exhaust my righteous striving. This is a subtle trap..very subtle. When I realize that I have slipped into playing saviour again, I could kick myself.
He must save me
Pride entices me to work harder,
and perform heroic looking acts of virtue
accepts that only God can save me and other people
We must come to the realization that we need a Saviour.
It usually takes, even Contemplative Monks decades to finally let go of the last of their pride and to humbly surrender control.
Pride makes us try to earn our salvation with good works.
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works,so that no one can boast.” -Ephesians 2:8,9
The Joy of Mothering