Families and The Economic Crisis: What's Cut from Your Family Budget?

Lately, I've taken out a sheet of paper to list objects, circumstances, and people for which I'm grateful, not necessarily in that order. I have to do that because sometimes my moments as a single mother of two (one teen and one adult who still lives at home), a caregiver to elderly parents who live with me, and as a person who expects more of herself and life, I get edgy and properly pissed. So, when I read a post like "Frustration Nation" at Oh, And Another Thing, I don't judge, I empathize. Here are a few lines of her frustration with this economy.

I'm really just bummed out today. I'm better off than so many people, but right now, i just feel defeated.

I want Claire to grow up in a house with a yard, and I'm giving her a box apartment with no grass and loud, obnoxious neighbors.

I want Claire to be in the best daycare, so I put her there and can't afford it from week to week.

I want to give my mom and dad gifts and money so they can enjoy life for once, yet I bleed them dry because I can't manage my own expenses.

I park between a Lexus SUV and a Mercedes C-class at daycare, and my own humble Honda is still not paid off---a 6-year car loan to afford a Honda. (Kara at Oh, And Another Thing)

She and I are one of many Americans struggling to make ends meet for our families. I suspect many of my readers could join in these laments. We're hearing that we're facing the worst economic crisis since The Great Depression, and we're hoping that is an exaggeration. As single mothers, Kara and I may be hit even harder financially than two-parent households, two-parent households are struggling as well.

I heard an NPR story today, "Credit Crunch Puts Family on a Downward Slide," about the Leschinskys:

· The kitchen table in David And Deborah Leschinsky's house is not a great place to have a conversation these days; the fridge, that has been broken for months, now chortles and whines so loud, sometimes it's hard to hear each other talking. Even worse, the milk and other foods routinely go bad; Deborah says the kids have learned to smell before they sip.

Years ago, the Lechinskys would have replaced the fridge immediately. That was when they were both making good salaries in high tech. They bought a four bedroom house in a great neighborhood of Brookline, Mass., vacationed in Hawaii, and gave to several charities. (Listen at NPR)

The story moves forward and tells how the Leschinkys have slipped from being upper middle class, per David's description, to middle class and are now possibly slipping into something "lower." The family's feeling the sting of a slowdown in business with people holding the purse strings tighter and banks bricking over their vaults, afraid to lend money.

It's part of NPR's Kitchen Sink Series through which they're covering families hit by this economic mess. I hear similar stories at work, where I serve customers buying high-end beauty products. People spill all kinds of stuff to a stranger on the phone. "I want to be removed from your mailings. I have to choose between face cream and food." Or "I'm cutting up my credit cards. My bank's been taken over," and even "We're losing the house. My God! We're losing the house. I can't afford this."

It's not only scary for them, it's scary for me. It's a short walk from customers cutting back to my job being cut, and I need it. I require more than a freelance income source to make ends meet.

But my problems are tiny when I consider Gary Staton's situation. He's the widower and father of 10 who recently fell into the spotlight when he abandoned nine of his children at a Nebraska safe haven. He said he couldn't afford them, and social service experts think America may see more people abandoning offspring due to job loss or home foreclosure.

We hear about families losing homes and we think homeowner, but sometimes it's a renter impacted by foreclosure, and unlike being the homeowner, renters don't see it coming. They just get home one day and find that they have no home. That the homeowner's been collecting the rent or has taken a deposit, but still could not pay the mortgage on the place the renter sleeps.

Take this story at YouTube about a family of eight that moved to California for a job that fell through. They paid a deposit on a rental that went into foreclosure. Today, the family is homeless.

After hearing these kinds of stories, it's hard to whine about not getting your favorite mocha frappuccino because your local Starbuck's gone. Some people are looking up to find their best neighbors are missing, gone in the mortgage meltdown.

Have you seen foreclosure signs in your neighborhood, or noticed that the houses for sale simply aren't moving? My street hasn't seen any foreclosures yet, but I suspect my brother's neighborhood has. Drive through that Louisiana subdivision and you'll see at least one house for sale on any given street.

And now that we live in a global economy, there's enough misery to go around for all. I also hear from Canadian customers at my job who say, "It's not just you Americans, you know. We're all connected. Your problem is affecting us here."

That customer was being honest, according to this story in Canadian newspaper The Windsor Star that warns Canadians to not get too smug about America's crippled economy. If Canadians tend to be smug about this crisis, we can't count the Canadian blogger at Mothering of 5 as living smugly. She's offering help at her blog, advice on the ways struggling families can save money:

There are many ways to save money, groceries are a good area to save money with. Yeah not too many people like the “no name brand” stuff but it’s food. Food is food, no name brands are exponentially less in cost than the name brands. When you are on a tight budget you can’t be picky. Feeding yourself on no name brands is better than not feeding yourself at all or feeding yourself for 2 days as compared to 2 weeks.

For clothes, hit the thrift stores. It’s not that bad and sometimes you find a unique find like a leather jacket that would normally cost 400 dollars for 20 bucks. Hit your local church charity drives and sales. Hit garage sales and if you can’t do that. Go to programs like furniture donation places and clothing donations (ie: Salvation Army, Church Charities for Disadvantaged, Food Banks) and ask for extra help. It is not a shameful thing to need help, we all need a helping hand from time to time. (Balancing Bills & Babies, Mothering of 5)

She's not sharing her knowledge because she's feeling a direct hit from our economy. She's sharing information that reminds us that people have struggled financially and survived since the beginning of time. If she can do it, so can we. She's reminding us of some same principles of survival discussed in the Accidental Housewife's post here at Blogher, "Could You Survive the Great Depression?"

Who dares to think such things and examine options? Mothers who want their children safe, that's who, and I'm sure there are plenty of fathers to echo concern.

If you saw the first presidential debate, you may have heard the question asking the candidates what would they cut from their proposed government budgets given our economic crisis? And I think one of them used in the last debate the example of us having to cut our family budgets to say government should do the same.

NPR had a second story up in its Kitchen Sink Series, one about a family dealing with cash flow troubles, feeling the pinch of high gas prices and pretty angry at Washington.

• Are you angry at Washington?
• What's hitting your wallet?
• Are you afraid of what's ahead?
• Has this crisis changed what you do with your family's money?
• Do you have tips on how to manage a family budget and relieve stress?

I'll tell you that I'm a little edgy, but nowhere near despair. As my grandmother used to say, "Worry is like a rocking chair. It doesn't take you anywhere."

Nordette is a Contributing Editor to BlogHer.com, and you may read her personal blog post on another site at WSATA.