The clerk would have known your business because the community was smaller and everyone knew everyone's business. We're just sharing our business differently - and on a broader scale. So it isn't just your local grocery clerk who knows your family struggles, it's the grocery clerk across the country.

I'm ok with that - mostly because anything I'm not ok with the internet discussing isn't posted online. I know my own boundaries (believe it or not, I do have some, heh.)

~Denise BlogHer Community Manager
Flamingo House Happenings

I agree with Denise - most of us do have our boundaries and don't share everything. By the way, not just bloggers are exposed online - I recently tried to locate someone and I found LOTS of info about him with just a few clicks. Social media exposes even those who don't blog.

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our experiences. As the study reported, the majority of moms feel isolated. Blogging allows us to dive right into those deeper issues that often go unspoken in our day-to-day contacts... and share them with an audience that isn't limited by the time we have to meet in person. Having said that, I agree it's a good idea not to name names... as what happens online... goes everywhere.

Grace Hwang Lynch blogs about life in an Asian mixed race family at www.HapaMama.com

essentially from the very beginning of my blog. And though I haven't always followed them perfectly, I have a few personal rules about what I share online:

1. If I'm going to complain about someone/something, I try to make sure I've confronted the person/situation in real life before venting about it online. Seems this is only fair to the people I may want to talk about, not to mention a lot more conducive to finding a resolution.

2. Before exposing sensitive family issues online, I run it by my husband first. He has never once asked me not to post something, but I feel I owe him the courtesy of checking with him.

3. I try to make sure I'm clear on the purpose of everything I post.

I have made a few mistakes along the way and am sure there will be more, and thus more "rules" to try to blog by. As a collective group, I think this is a topic we should keep discussing in the blogosphere so that we might learn from one another and help keep each other safe.

Deb

www.spawnocalypse.com
http://twitter.com/noreturnmom

Yes, by writing about our lives and sharing information on our blogs and other various Internet sites, we put ourselves at risk. We also put ourselves at risk by going to new local events, joining local groups and branching out in any way in our local communities. Scammers exist, online and off. People who want to take advantage of you will find a way, whether you have an Internet footprint or you lack any form of existence on the web.

Ask any potential adoptive family who was scammed by a woman posing as a potential birth mother (not online, but through an agency or independent adoption). Ask anyone who has been scammed via fake telemarketers or fake door-to-door salesmen. Ask anyone who has believed that a charity was legit only to find that they weren't on the up and up.

In fact, the Internet allows us to do so much more research than we could have done fifteen or even ten years ago. Instead of just blindly trusting that a person or a company happen to be who they say they are, we can turn to the Internet. We can Google. We can pull up the BB. We can post a message on a forum and ask if anyone has any experience, good or otherwise, with a person or a company. While we shouldn't trust everything we read on the Internet, we have a wealth of information available to us. Sure, there's information available about us. Sure, we need to be smart about what we share and how we share it. Sure, we need to teach our families that strangers, in general, should be handled with some form of skepticism.

But it's not the fault of the bloggers. Or the people living their lives offline. It's the fault of the scammers. And I refuse to live my life in fear.

@FireMom from Stop, Drop and Blog and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land

It definately concerns me. I live a rather public life in "real" life and online as well. I'd be lying if I said I have never been worried about some nut wanting to discuss my views face to face.  never worried about some nut that disagrees with my views. As the previous post said:

"...I refuse to live my life in fear".

Just have to be careful. Share enough to "connect", but not so much that you're in danger.

Visit online at GodsyGirl.Com
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Here, here, Jenna!

That's exactly what I told my husband, who once thought he bought a VCR on the streets of NY, just to discover it was only a box stuffed with newspaper with an extension cord sticking out!!!

Think Act: Proactive Black Parenting

Interesting; I just, last night, did away with fake names for my kiddos on the blog. (I was tired of accidentally using their pseudonyms in "real life" conversation!)

I think when this whole blogging thing was just getting started, everybody was really wary, including me, but now it is becoming so normal--who the heck doesn't have a blog these days?--I am feeling more comfortable just being me.

I've never been terrilby worried about the stalker thing either. If someone wanted to, they could find out a lot more about me a lot faster just by following me home from the library once. Or the grocery store. Where they see my kids, hear their names, and find out what kind of fruit they probably like! Maybe I'm just not the paranoid type, but I'm not too worried about the additional exposure online. Maybe if I were the only person doing this, but come on, blogs are everywhere. They're totally mainstream now.

http://simplymother.com

I overshare on my blog as well and have paid the price a few times. The first time it happened (I wrote something that someone in my family found) I just picked up my marbles and moved to another site. When I was "found" again I realized that I didn't care. Blogging is important to my life: it has helped me connect with other women, helped me get advice, helped me endure, helped me feel and be creative. I did have to do a quick rethink of what and how I blogged and shifted my writing like one of the above commenters suggested- only writing what I can and have said to someone else.

I do wonder how I will shift and change as my son gets older. I wonder if I will continue posting photos of him or writing about his poop. But for now I keep writing and oversharing.

At what age do you think parents should stop sharing photos and stuff about their kids? Just curious what others have done.

& seriously- I have met some of my bestest friends through oversharing on the 'net. Woo!

Calliope blogging about Alzheimer's, Infertility, and Single Motherhood

Creating Motherhood

I was on the naive side when I started blogging, not initially planning on having readers outside my friends and family. So I've always used our real names, and reassured myself with the fact that many others do the same. I keep telling myself I'm going to back off the pictures, but keep giving into the temptation to share.

Then sometimes when I'm at the playground or another public place with my kids and other parents ask their names--to be polite and sociable--I think about this being an even bigger risk--giving my kids' real names to in-person strangers with the very real potential to follow us home. Heck, they may even ask where we live! To be friendly, of course. The real threats aren't going to stand out.

Stranger danger today has an entirely new meaning to this generation of kids, whether their parents blog or not. Once info is out there, we can't get it back, nor can we control what others post on blogs and social media. It's just a new world. Caution is certainly warranted, but we've got to put things in perspective.

Deb

www.spawnocalypse.com
http://twitter.com/noreturnmom

I started blogging a year ago, so I guess I came a little *late* to the party. I had heard so many horror stories of being overexposed, stalkers and being harrassed by mean commenters, that I was a bit nervous. In my blog I write about some controversial stuff that certainly could welcome criticism, and I openly tell about my personal mistakes, which could also welcome criticism.

However, I've been pleasantly surprised at the reactions I have gotten. I've received an overwhelming amount of support from all kinds of people... it came as a shock, actually. Blogging has gifted me with valuable friends and contacts, something I had not even dared to hope for. I started blogging because I had a story I wanted to tell, and felt the benefits of putting it out there would outweigh the risks. Fortunately, I have only had one person attack me for what I write, and it turns out that anonymous person is someone with a vested interest in seeing my bloggy go bye-bye. HUH.

Nonetheless, I am careful not to say what town we are in, post pictures of my young daughter or use her name, and we use a private mail drop and keep our home address private. I am very open, yet strategically careful.

I think it's going to be interesting to see how kids feel about being the subject of their parent's blogs as time goes by. I think it will just become the norm. Kids will start saying to each other, "Your mom doesn't write about you? No blog? Humph, maybe you should have a talk with her to see what's wrong!!"

I had a hilarious situation where a friend of my son's asked, "doesn't it bother you that your mom talks about you publicly in her blog?" And my son, in true form, thought about it for a moment and said " I don't think she talks about me. She's talking about my siblings!" So here's the lesson. If you don't use names, your kids may never actually know (or at least, can plausibly deny) that you are referring to them!! I know, this only works when you have a whole slew of kids!! 

Think Act: Proactive Black Parenting

I just started blogging a year ago and was careful to use a pseudonym. But, I don't make it that hard to find my "personal" blog because I am a writer and it showcases my biggest strength. I started a second blog recently to be more of a "professional" blog, but it's time consuming and not as fun! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that potential employers see the strength in my writing and aren't too prudish about the content. Which do you like better?

http://mothershaffer.wordpress.com/

http://karenshaffer.com/

My husband is also very worried about having our names and faces so easily "googleable" and is very concerned that I keep our lives somewhat private - which I try to do.

However his name is in the paper nearly every week. He is regularly on local TV news. Yet never once has it been mentioned in any of my blogs.

As for my son, he recently asked me why I can't just scrapbook like everyone else's mom!

I am not an anonymous blogger and haven't tried to be.  What I have learned through that is, if I am true to myself, regardless of where I am or what medium I'm using, I have nothing to worry about.  What do I care if people know who I am?  I'm not putting anything out there I should be ashamed of.  As far as safety goes, I try to be wise, but honestly, I'm a lot more concerned about the weirdo leering at me while I'm using the ATM after dark than who is reading my blog.        

My family is cool with their presence on my blog.  My husband and kids are proud to be featured there.  And my husband's boss and co-workers are readers!  I know he's endured a bit of teasing over it, but he has big shoulders, and nothing I write about him is a surprise as I have him okay anything I post about him beforehand.  My blog has really been a useful tool in my "real life."  It has deepened my existing friendships, created new ones, and even landed me a part-time job.  There are drawbacks, of course, but they seem so small compared to what I've gained.      

Leslie My Mommy's Place

I just started my own blog and due to my profession, I keep most of my info pretty vague. However, some of my favorite bloggers are totally open and share cute pics of their little ones.

This is a really great post. You managed to talk about online exposure AND not get me all anxious. THANK you for that. Well done. I agree with everything you said, and am experiencing many of the same evolutions, etc. This is a NEW AGE that we -- as bloggers -- are a huge part of.

-- Haley-O blogs at http://cheatymonkey.com and tweets as @cheaty

I'm a Canadian woman living in Mexico (and blogging from here obviously).  Being anonymous here is a bit of a different story.  Number one, I occasionally blog about politics, something technically "illegal" for a foreigner to do (I can be deported for "public protesting" if someone really wanted to push the issue).  I have received some threats via email and so have other blogging friends here.  A poet in Mexico was put in jail for his work that was anti-government.  Number two, yes, there are issues with kidnappings here and the groups who perpetrate these crimes are using the internet to source their victims.  Facebook, MySpace, twitter and blogs, they can find all the information they need to narrow down a good target.  I am very clear on the blog that we are pooor, no money Mr. Kidnapper!  I have a four year old son and while I do use his first name and post pictures, I never reveal where he goes to school or where we live.  While I have tried not to reveal my name, it has come out so if someone really wants to know, they can find it but it won't lead them to my address or how to find me.  I have had people stop us in the grocery store who recognize myself or my son from the blog, but I have yet to have a really scary experience.

So, while it's certainly something I think about, I can't get my knickers in a knot over it.  The information is out there and you can't get the cat back in the bag.  I simply try to avoid controversial topics (or at least avoid direct criticism of the government or mafias) and I don't reveal our neighbourhood.  Heck, even if I did it would be hard to find me, my closest friends get lost trying to find the house.  :)

Great post!

CancunCanuck,

My husband would have a heart attack just reading your comment!! But I say, good for your continuing to let your voice be heard!!  Your situation does put the issue in focus, though, doesn't it?

Thanks so much for sharing it! I'm looking forward to following your adventures!

Think Act:Proactive Black Parenting

Great post!

I think the self-regulating idea is key.  Finding your own boundaries and thinking about them--why you've drawn your line or why you haven't.

Venting about infertility since 2006 www.stirrup-queens.com and we're not talkin' cowgirls...