Encountering Crisis Online: What to Do When Someone Threatens Suicide

I am glad this post is helpful to you. Sadly, I believe that we will encounter crisis increasingly online as more people turn to the online community for support. The key, I think, is to be as much a support community as we can-- with positivity and empathy and concern. We really can make a difference for some.

Thank you for your comment.

( http://www.proactiveblackparenting.blogspot.com/ )

Think Act: Proactive Black Parenting ( http://www.proactiveblackparenting.blogspot.com )   and   Tortured By Teenagers ( http://www.blogher.com/http;//momhouston.com/tortu... )

I read this before the Holidays and shared these important messages.  I came back to re-read after hearing the sad news that one of our community took her own life.  I am so incredibly saddened that someone seeking out the online community still felt so alone.

Both Gina and Rita, thank you for your kind words and concern.

I do have a psychiatrist that I work with on a regular basis- things are just extra difficult at the moment because I have failed my 7th anti-depressant, and now we're going to try the bazooka of ADs: an MAOI.  Because of possible drug interactions, I have to be off of my current med for 2 full weeks, hence the "brain spinning violently in my skull" feeling.

It really lifts my spirits that there are people out there who will extend their love and good wishes to perfect strangers, not because they "get" anything out of it, but because that is the kind of person they are.  Sometimes, when I am feeling like I have exhausted all of the available options, the care expressed by those around me is what gets me through the day.

And that's why this post is so important to me: the kind words of a stranger can literally save lives.

Thank you both from the very bottom of my heart.

~*Amber*~

ETA: I am also definitely bookmarking Dr. Aletta's site.  You can never have too many resources.

Amber, I agree with Gina. Call Dr. Aletta. Or call a friend's psychologist. I remember the anxiety I once suffered from and I wouldn't wish it on anyone else. But it can lift. Please get professional help. We are pulling for you.

Rita Arens writes at Surrender Dorothy ( http://surrenderdorothy.typepad.com ) and BlogHer and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak ( http://tinyurl.com/9pg62e ). She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

I'm making an assumption, that the "art project" that 90-day-Jane created was in context of a school or university - if so, I wonder at the supervisor who allowed it to go ahead. Any teacher who is serious about promoting critical thinking should have pointed out the fundamental dishonesty and manipulative nature of such a project. The question should have been asked - "what is the point of this, what are you trying to achieve?" As well as - "what are the possible consequences of doing this, and can you live with that?" Apart from the mentioned risk of encouraging suicide (which many adolescents that I know would just answer with a "so what, its their choice, I'm not putting a gun to their head") there is the consequence of lying to your audience. The cynical manipulation of others through lying erodes trust in the relationships we build on- and off line.

Amber,

Thank you so much for your comment. You are so right. The Internet offers the best and worst kinds of connection. I am hoping that you are not struggling alone right now. But if you are, I really encourage you to call Dr. Aletta. She is the psychologist who I interviewed for my post. I have not known her long, but she is a kind and caring woman who is empathetic and who specializes in depression and anxiety. I know she has a great ear. Check out her site (explorewhatsnext.com) and her personal blog (ewnblog.com) and give her a call (716-308-6683). You do not have to struggle alone.

Sending much love your way,

Think Act: Proactive Black Parenting ( http://www.proactiveblackparenting.blogspot.com )

I have major depression, and I have attempted suicide.  I am still, after nearly 13 years, struggling to find a cure, or even something that works.  Right now, I'm floundering because I am in-between meds.  That might be why I am sitting here in tears.

Something that people need to consider is that not everyone has "real life" friends.  The advent of the internet means that those of us who are terrible at live social interactions can go to a site such as Twitter, or our own blog, and still have our story heard.

I have once or twice considered using my blog or Twitter to let people know that I'm in a dark place, sort of a "Please, dear God, SOMEBODY HELP ME."  I haven't because I am afraid that nobody would respond, or worse, that somebody would respond as they did to Abraham Biggs. 

If someone said, "Go ahead and kill yourself" after I told them that I was considering it, I would probaby do it.  Those people who responded to that boy's cry for help with hate are responsible for his death.  Maybe not in any legal way, but in every moral way.  They should have at least tried to save him.

Thank you for posting this, for sharing Dr. Aletta's advice, and for being a kind enough soul to care about your fellow man.  Now I'm going to go back to laying down, because it feels like my brain is spinning circles inside my skull- one of many things depression can do to cloud a person's judgement.

~*Amber*~

I moderate an online message board.  Not long ago, we had a young girl post a thread talking about how difficult her life was, how hopeless she felt, and she did mention suicide.

It scared me to death.

My knee jerk reaction was to post back and tell her about my experiences with teenage depression and try to give her some glimmer of hope that she would get through it.  Luckily I didn't.  The boards that I moderate have very strict guidelines how to handle that sort of thing, and I turned all my information over to them so that they could get her the help she needed.

And that's when I had to step away and just pray that she would be helped.

Just the mention of the word suicide is a call for help. I was so grateful to not have to deal with it myself.  But if I weren't in the situation of having backup help, I would hope that I would do something.  I hope to God that I wouldn't let a call for help go unheeded.

Fiddledeedee ( http://Fiddledeedee.net )

It's very frustrating when people like 90 Day Jane mess with such an important issue. I think the author should feel terrible about what she did. It was wrong on so many levels.

It is also shocking how others watched Abraham kill himself online.

These situations show the worst of humanity.

Susan (5 Minutes for Mom)

http://www.5minutesformom.com

http://twitter.com/5minutesformom

The night before last a blogger I love and follow sent out a Tweet in the middle of the night for someone to call 911.

She has attemted suicide before and was spiraling for a long time and those who read/know her were very concerned.

Luckily, someone lived in her country and tracked down her town and called the police and we waited for what felt like days until receiving word she was talking to police. I didn't get to bed until 5:30 am.

It was awful.

I'm so glad she is ok (I use that term loosely. She is obviously NOT ok right now, but she is still breathing so, ya know...) and frankly, even though some might disagree with me, I am glad that the resource of Twitter was there for her to cry out for help, even though it.was.horrible.and.scary.

We're going to see more and more about this as people continue to embrace social media to process all facets of their lives. What you've written here is helpful and a good reminder we all need sometimes.

Rita Arens writes at Surrender Dorothy ( http://surrenderdorothy.typepad.com ) and BlogHer and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak ( http://tinyurl.com/9pg62e ). She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.