As soon as Peanut began sitting in
her high chair and feeding herself finger foods, I started insisting
that H be home for family dinners. I'll be honest here, he grumbled. A
lot. He's a bit of a workaholic at the best of times, but after months
of sleep deprivation and life revolving around our first born daughter,
it was time to focus on all of us as a family. I read the studies on
the virtues of family meals. They are heralded as a cure-all, an
instant fix. The truth is a little more complicated.

I did a
quick survey online and there are several excellent resources on the
benefits of family dinners. NPR has a radio broadcast that you can
access here.
Studies have shown that it is particularly beneficial for young
children to have family dinners because it can improve language and
reading outcomes. They point out that it's not simply the dinner, it's
also the "quality of the conversation at mealtime". Explaining new
words, using storytelling techniques and engaging your little one in
conversation are all important parts of the family meal. That seems
like common sense to me. It could hardly be beneficial to exclude a
member of the family from the conversation; I'm certain Miss Manners
would not approve.

Emily Bazilon at Slate also wrote a piece on family dinners.
She points out the benefits for parents as well. They are happier and
don't mind working such long hours (as a rule) if they can make it home
for dinner. We have noticed this finding as well. There were many
nights, especially at the beginning, where he would come home for
dinner and then go right back to the office after to finish his work.
He found that it was easier to concentrate, he was more productive, and
he seemed much less stressed when he got home. These days, he has
shifted his schedule around (as much as possible) and will usually work
from home if he needs to work after dinner.

Routines are important as well, as the New York Times' Laurie Tarkan points out in "Benefits of the Dinner Table Ritual".
If you regularly connect with your family at the table, you are more
likely to see (or at least you'd have the opportunity to see) if there
is a problem or change in behaviour. The security of the routine of
eating together should also not be underestimated. It took me a while
to understand that Peanut needed
routines in her life, and I have to admit my life has also been far
less turbulent as a result. She also notes that the family dinner is
very important for language development. I have most definitely noticed
this effect. Peanut has been participating more and more in our
conversations. She tells Daddy about her day and her descriptions are
getting more complete (I don't have to fill in as many blanks), and her
sentences are getting longer. Her manners have also improved
considerably. It's amazing how many benefits come with sitting around
the table.

This past week, I decided to try an experiment (granted, it's not at all scientific since I only used my family as Guinea
pigs). I began waking up 1/2 hour earlier to do family breakfasts. I
keep it simple, eggs, cereal, fruit (though I was quite proud of
myself... I made banana pancakes one morning). This additional meal had
an immediate and positive impact on her vocabulary. She is already at
an age (2) where her vocabulary is developing at an amazing rate and I
believe that the meals we share as a family really help to encourage
this development. Again, H seemed far happier (he has never been a
breakfast eater, neither have I for that matter) and he did not binge
at lunch as a result.

On Friday, I met with a friend of mine
(who has twins) for coffee in the late afternoon. Peanut had not slept
the night before and I was exhausted. It turned out that she was too
tired to cook as well, and was planning on having dinner at one of the
restaurants in the mall. We decided to call our husbands and go
together. It was great for all of us. We didn't stick the kids at one
side of the table with the adults at the other, we all mingled together
and had a lovely meal. She even told me that she was amazed at how long
her daughters were able to sit at the table!

Mealtimes are such
an important part of socializing and bonding. Whether it is bonding
with your spouse, your child, your friends, or your extended family, it
is worth the effort to make the time for dinner as a group. The best
part about our meals is the laughter that inevitably ensues. Yes, it's
time consuming. Yes it's messy. But we all have a blast and H and I
will often marvel afterwards at what Peanut said or did. Do you have
dinner as a family? Have you noticed any benefits to the practice? I'd
love to hear your stories.

Reposted from: Michelle's Blog