Here's a letter I'll pretend to have received: 

Dear Poppy, 

I am fat, broke, and out of it, yet I want to spark up my look for fall, 2008. Can you help? 

Signed, 

Your Faithful BlogHer Reader 

Dear BFF:

I know what you're going through. You get pregnant, have babies, breastfeed them, and change their diapers. And then, all of a sudden, you look up and realize that you aren't spending all of your time hovering over a changing table with a spit-up rag permanently attached to your shoulder.

In fact, you actually have a date night or two scheduled with your husband. But your wardrobe ... eeeeccch. Everything is pre-kid, out-of-style, and dowdy. On top of that, it doesn't fit. 

I'm here to let you in on affordable versions of Fall, 2008. Affordable versions that keep your secrets safe. After all, it's nobody's business if your six pack morphed into a muffin top a long time ago.

Here's what to do: dust off your memories of 1980s videos and remember what was big back then. Trust me; think MTV back when they still played music videos, and you're half way there.

Sequins are huge this fall/winter. Try this fabulous tank from Old Navy ($24.99 marked down to 7.99!) Maybe you don't want to show off your upper arms--fine. Wear it under a cardigan. Cinch your cardigan with a belt and you couldn't be more Fall, 2008.

Bangles are really huge for the first time since ... well, the Bangles were hot. These Old Navy knock-offs of Schlumberger and Hermes enamel bracelets are a great quick way to update your look.

Go crazy with these--stack them up. You can afford to; they're on sale for $5.99!

If 80s fashion is back, you know you're going to see lots of gold. Or snakeskin. Or, preferably, both. Check out this Merona satchel from Target:

Then there's gold combined with a wedge heel--for $24.99, are you daring enough to try these Merona peep-toed wedges from Target?

Or channel your inner Billy Idol with these Mossimo black patent platform sandals. The platform makes the heel easier to wear, and the hardware adds a certain 1980s edginess.

For more inspiration, do what I'm going to do: dust off your Madonna Immaculate Collection DVD. Because if fuschia is back

can fingerless lace gloves be far behind?