Father of the Year, or Creepy Man at the Playground

A father with children, playing , is a role model, not a threat. Good people are everywhere. Children need to be taught early to be aware of their surroundings, aware of what all people are doing around them. Everyone has rules. They get that. We are always talking about rules for their behavior. As long as nothing is said or done to alert the child to trouble, then they can play, happily feeling safe. Many of you pointed out that a single man without kids is much more suspicious and you are right. No one should approach or initiate conversation with a child without their parent present. Some of you will say that is sad, maybe it is. However it does not happen often. The high alert comments are asking the child for help or to leave with him. those are alert cues that your child should learn. We call them tricks. I teach Abduction Prevention and Safety for children ages 5-13. Explain that we need to use our instincts, Example-the neighbor you know, chasing the (forever getting out) Labrador, who asks your child which way the dog went, green light, the child replying to the neighbor does not pose a threat. But as in the "Mickenzie's "story in my book, if a man asks children to go help him to find his dog, red light! Say No! to this bad adult behavior and go and tell. Mickenzie fought her way out of his truck, and saved her life, in college now, she speaks to schools, keeping children safe. Her abductor is serving 15 years. However these cases can be gentled by reminding at all times that- "Good people are everywhere!" Arm your child with safety strategies and let them play. As long as you and the child feel empowered and confident, you both will have a more relaxing time at the park, and around your neighborhood, like walking to a friend's home. Author of What Should You Do? Helping Children Protect Themselves in the Twenty-First Century. Tate Publishing

Sounds like there are many other dads who love to play with kids at the playground! I am totally a parent who likes to WATCH my kids (and husband) play. That's okay too. :)

I would watch, and no, me who is hyper-vigilant, would not be creep-ed out but enjoy the shared fun if nothing looked suspicious.

I so appreciated this post - my husband is also one of "those" who is just great with kids and they are drawn to him. In fact, he's much better with kids than I am - I think it's lousy that people judge based on the fact that he's a man that enjoys spending time with kids, but I understand it too...if it was anyone but him, that I didn't know, I would probably have my concerns too. Ridiculous, maybe, but society has made us wary.

There is room for sure for a man who can play with the kids. I think it helps if his own kids are there. Would the woman telling this story feel differently if a random man walking past with no children played with the children too?

I must admit I have gotten a lump in my throat the few times my son's former day care would hire a man. One day I climbed the stairs to the toddler room to find my son sitting on a "strange" man's lap I couldn't control the shocked look on my face while I took a second to asses the situation. Was he a bad man? Of course he'd passed all the same scrutiny as the rest of his co-workers but for a millisecond I thought "who is that man and why is my son sitting on his lap?" Another father playing with all the kids I don't think would make me feel the same but I have to say that we do look at men with children differently often and I guilty of that too. Fair or not.

My husband is the same way. Babies to teenagers, he loves kids and kids love him. I'm not more creeped out by a man who enjoys kids than a woman. I'd be watching a woman on the playground as closely as a man. We should be making our judgments on individuals, not by sex. Equality goes both ways.

My husband is the first to play with our daughter at the park/playground. And like yours, if other kids want to play he doesn't turn them away or ignore them. He's the first to say good morning/afternoon to you if you were crossing paths on the sidewalk. And that trickles down to our daughter. She's constantly inviting other kids to join her in play and says good morning to people just like Daddy.

If I were at the park and a father who was there with his child{ren} was playing I wouldn't think much of it. But I would watch {without scowling lol} and make sure my daughter was safe. That's just the momma bear in me though :)

I remember watching Mister Magorium's Wonder Emporium and actually being surprised that the mom was weebed out because Jason Bateman was playing with her kid in his room -- but then I really thought about seeing a grown man playing with my kid out of context inside and understood why she looked like she wanted to shoot him.

That said, as long as I'm there and I'm watching, I don't mind if my daughter gets into the group game at the playground even if grown-ups are involved. I'd talk to her about how if I hadn't been there, it wouldn't have been okay, though. My biggest goal as a parent is to teach her how to trust her gut and make good decisions and get herself out of any situation that doesn't seem quite right. If I'm constantly pulling her out myself, she won't develop that Spidey sense.

I agree with LincindaA. I would love it, but would keep an eye on things, because I would be watching anyway! We used to go to preschool softplay when my son was younger and there was a dad there who was much the same, rounding them all up and making games. It was great! It's sad to be so mistrusting, but I would rather be wary than miss something. Only last week there was an attempted snatch at our local leisure centre. Things do happen.

Parents get to caught up with the media and DateLine. It's sad there's so much distrust. People have commented how uncomfortable they are with me letting my kids go to a neighbor's house just 5 houses away to play with their friends. Really? It's just down the street.

I think it's great. My husband is the same way. I think it is sad that people are unable to distinguish between a father playing with children and a predator at a playground. There really is a difference and it can be seen. Besides, common sense says if you are watching your kid at the playground and a man starts playing with a group of kids at that playground, he is not going to suddenly abduct or molest your child with you watching. And then people complain about fathers not being more involved. People need to educate themselves instead of believing all the media hype.

If it was clear that the man was there with his own children (and wife) I wouldn't be creeped out at all. It's the ones who show up alone that you have to be leery of.

My husband's the same way. And when he tries to make friends with the moms at the park? Boy oh boy, the looks he gets. Sad but, yes, totally understandable.