Bio
Dearest Fatty, I write to you because I Love you. Because I Love you I sometimes say mean things, but you know I only want the very best for you.
 
 
 
 

Most Popular

Recent Comments

Fatty faces upto the mirror.

  • Share This Post
  • Pin It
  • 9
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Dearest Fatty,

Today you went clothes shopping. Normally you wouldn't, I know this because I always come with you and understand what a trial this can be.

In normal conditions you would have just gone straight to the jogging pants isle and grabbed the biggest size but this time you had to be brave and go to the dress isle.

A wedding should be a happy occasion and you ARE so very happy for the bride and groom, but face it, you are terrified of having to buy a dress, horrified about  the limited choices available to you and mortified of how you know you will look in the wedding photos.

You found a dress.

A good solid wedding guest dress, spring like with flowers on it.

You turned it this way and that and that fact it was on sale made you find the bravery you need to go and try it on.

Now you are as paranoid as Mulder Fox on weed. I can see your blushing cheeks and feel your sweaty palms as you imagine the changing room girl eyeing up first the dress and then you and judging the pair of you...and finding you wanting.

The mirrors are full length.

You have no full length mirrors at home, instead you dress with the help of a mirror the size of an A4 piece of paper, that way you can only see one bit at a time...its a system that works for you.

You undress and can't help but see your whole body in one go.

Poor Fatty. It must feel like a hermit who hasn't seen his own face for 20 years, on account of living in the mountains in a cave, getting cleaned up and having a shave. Where DID my young face go?

And this is how you feel.

You don't KNOW this person. This is not the person who used to ride racehorses and wear skirts so short that cars would slow down and boys would lean out of the windows to whistle. This is not the body you shyly showed your first lover. This is not a body you know how to work. Its lack of agility still surprises you, you move a hand to you stomach and are always, ALWAYS surprised when your hand finds flesh where none should be for another few inches.

I know how hard it was to pull that dress on Fatty.

Not physically, although it was a little snug, but at that halfway point where you knew what it would look like and had no choice but to see it through.

You know how it looked.

There is no need for description.

You dress, and your clothes, that seemed alright when you dressed at home this morning, now make you feel huge.

I saw you scuttle out of the changing room and slip the dress and hanger back onto the rail. Saw you find your husband and lie to him when he asked if it fit.

You will find a dress Dearest Fatty.

And I promise you will find that lost body as well.

I Love you.         

       

Is it your flab or your brain you need to fight? Answers on a postcard please.

  • 9
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Comments

Post comment as twitter logo facebook logo
Sort: Newest | Oldest
Dearest Fatty 5 pts

...For one thing I think my husband might section me..you know..eating meals with the family...naked..in front of a mirror..lol ;)

I truely think its all in the head (when its not sitting on the hips of course) You don't need to be 300lb to feel FAT. I AM fat (scales don't lie, mirrors do) but its my brain that needs taking care of before my muffin top.

Thanks for the cheerleading and I'll throw it right back attcha...I'll be the wobbly one in the short skirt and the big pompoms :D 

Is it your flab or your brain you need to fight? Answers on a postcard please.

Miss Penny Lane 5 pts

I hate buying new cloths. I hate dressing rooms. But I love full length mirrors. I have one in my bathroom. Full length mirrors make me accountable for what I see. When I look into the mirror.... I don't see the "beautiful", "wonderful", "vibrant", "sexy", "unique" woman that so many others have talked about in me. Not at all. I see ME. But I have often wondered if the way I see myself... is truely off base. There are many times that I have been out at the grocery store with my mother or out with my roomate, and they will say... "See, she is bigger then you are, You would look SO cute in those jeans!", or "You are that exact size, do you think she is disgustingly fat? No? Then why do you think you are?". It does make me think, because when I see other people, I now that they aren't gross or ugly. They could probably stand to lose a few pounds.. but a few would do. No, when I look in my full length mirror I see a disgusting monster. I cry. I get angry. Then... I eat. But, that full lenght mirror makes me accountable for who and what I see that I am. If I want something done, I HAVE TO CHANGE IT. I've heard that the best and most proven way to lose weight, is... that when you eat... sit infront of the mirror naked. I haven't tried it yet. I am to afraid.... but... I think I might soon. Just to see how it affects me.

Keep up the good work sissa. I'll be rooting for you. Your personal cheerleader on the sidelines of this game called Life. I will watch you make your goals and take your fouls, and hopefully you can cheer me on from time to time too.

Cheers & Whatnot,

~*Miss Penny Lane*~

Rita Arens 7 pts

I think I can speak for many of the eating-disordered among us when I say it's in your head.

Rita Arens writes at Surrender Dorothy ( http://surrenderdorothy.typepad.com ) and BlogHer and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak ( http://tinyurl.com/9pg62e ). She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

TW 9 pts

Oh, let's just say 14 years ago...it was that give or take a few months....I had a bedroom with the oddity of a sink with a large mirror-really large mirror-over it on one side. A motion in the corner of my eye made me turn my head and face that mirror. Somehow my mother's body was in the room. How the heck did that happen? That naked body that I had seen so often growing up. My mother wasn't one for hiding nudity. Suddenly, I had that body...except I wasn't 5'9". That body I had half admired but mostly hated as my mother spoke of Omar the Tent-maker and yet could make every man within miles ogle her appreciatively.

But, there was that same body, on me now. I wish I could say it was a turning point. It wasn't. I had a list of excuses a mile long-a nursing baby, toddler, money, time, housework, thyroid, and did I mention I had a nursing baby...a strapping young girl baby? Surely she would suck the weight off.  She didn't. Somehow by the time she weaned I weighed more than when I was pregnant with her.

Then there was the next baby-not so much weight gain that time. That tiny girl nursed like crazy but she didn't suck the weight off either.

Then one January I got the flu, bad...and didn't eat. Then managed to lose 100 lbs, get divorced, fall in love again, not necessarily in that order.

( http://twitter.com/thatwoman )
Retro-Food.com ( http://retro-food.com )

Tre - 5 pts

Wow...you may just nudge me to blog my own self babble war which lasted for too many decades to admit.

Fatty is nice compared to the names that I've suffocated behind.

I'm bowing to your courage....I'm hugging your heart...because I know that weight is never about food....I don't care what any so called experts say. Show me that they've ever walked the walk of self hatred and abuse and then tell me it's a calorie thing.

I love you for taking us into the hell of shopping that always feels like another abusive sabotaging moment.

I love you for showing us how you eventually do get to that place of hope.

I love that you are letting yourself think about going to this wedding.

I can't even count the number of events i used to miss.

It's such a treasure to hear your voice...hold your heart..hug you in this process....whether you are blogging about now..or 3 months ago or something that happened 2 years ago.

The enemy you are fighting you will beat....I know you will....

Deep respect.

Tre~

tw:   @tresha ( http://twitter.com/tresha )

fb:    http://facebook.com/treshathorsen

e:     tre@thoughtbythought.net

blog: http://thoughtbythought.net

SCanon 5 pts

I have conversations with myself inside of my head like this all of the time. 

I rarely cry, but this one had me misting up a bit.  Keep up with the self-pep-talk. 

Again, a beautiful post.  Thank you.

Somer blogs at Merry Wife of Canon ( http://www.merrywifeofcanon.com ) as well as Smell My Plate ( http://www.smellmyplate.com ).

Dearest Fatty 5 pts

I'm hiding behind the avatar so I can be honest, I'm glad my posts made you think.

Fatty x 

Is it your flab or your brain you need to fight? Answers on a postcard please.

Denise 23 pts moderator

Every single post has made me think.

http://www.blogher.com/blog/dearest-fatty

~Denise BlogHer Community Manager
Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

margopego 5 pts

When I first read this, I was shocked & upset at how poorly this woman viewed herself. I was thinking, "Don't call yourself names! That's the first step to a poor body image!" I'm glad I read on, though.

What a powerful entry! I can certainly relate & I've been there many times. It's something that I know most women & many men struggle with, each with her or his own particular issue. I've looked in the mirror myself & seen a huge blob that no one likes to look at, let alone my own eyes wanting to view it. Part of this stems from a particular thing in my past, but I've been conditioned my whole life to view my own body as fat, because it has been most of my life, & because of people telling me.

It's a huge struggle, & I thank whomever wrote this for putting it out there. Hopefully those who don't struggle - or say they don't - will have a better understanding of those who do because of what you wrote. I shared this on FB & on Twitter.

Blessings, Michelle :)