F*ck It, Suck It or Bucket?

Deep into a snow day talk-show-rama, the tail end of a round of Marry, F*ck, Kill caught my ear. Except what I heard was, Marry, F*ck, Suck.


I am nearly certain my mind was in the gutter on other things, and that the name of the game, already pretty shocking for daytime TV, bleeped or not, was said correctly by the players.  I might have confused it with a segment on a different network on surviving the cold by exchanging body heat.


Anyway. It got me thinking, which was kind of a miracle in the midst of a blizzard of KellyWendyHodaBethennyViewChewTalkGirls and Downtown Abbey.


When it comes to the ‘Marry ‘part, some say F*ck it, others say it sucks. Even (especially?) in post-World War I Britain.


Most 21st Century single women, however, say marrying is on our bucket list and we want to check it off.


That being so, let’s put “Marry” on the sidelines and make the game more interesting. Let’s play, F*ck It, Suck It or Bucket?


The rules:

F*ck it: Like, WTF, might as well

Suck it: No way, this blows

Bucket: Put it on the to do before I die list


I’ll go first.


Round 1: Games

F*ck it: Play with yourself. Yes, play with yourself and make sure you win.

Suck it: Call yourself loser, or any other name. The names you call yourself hurt your soul worse than any bodily assault by stick or stone.

Bucket: A bushel of French and Italian lingerie. From trips to France and Italy.  Let the games begin.


Round 2: Dates

F*ck it: Play with yourself. Yes, I am obsessed with masturbation. It prevents you from getting into situations that lead to Suck it dates.

Suck it: Dates you don’t want to go on. They never end well, even days or months later. When in dread, dread.

Bucket: A perfect romantic moment. With dancing and great lighting and someone you love to play with.


Round 3: Fun

F*ck it: Go out and play with yourself. Take in a movie or grab a quick meal on your own.

Suck it: Thinking people will think you’re a loser for eating alone. They don’t. They don’t think anything except maybe “she’s hungry.”

Bucket: Plan and take the trip of a lifetime, to the other side of the pond or other side of the state. Go by yourself or with someone you love. Like a sister.


Round 4: The Obvious

F*ck it: One night stands. Safety first; done first; out the door first. Girl power.

Suck it: Boredom BJs- when nobody’s coming and you want to get going.

Bucket: Check.


Your turn. Name a category and your F*ck, suck or bucket list. 


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