Of Fearlessness and Bangs

BlogHer Original Post

Cultivating an inner beauty far surpasses anything I could try to match in a magazine.

And born from that knowledge came the confidence I was missing for so long.

So now the things of outward beauty, finding the perfect mascara and pulling my hair into a stylish topknot? Those things are just icing on the cake. As they should be.

It’s being blonde as a bride and my natural brunette as I prepare for pregnancy. It’s leaving my hair wavy, because getting to the NICU to press my face against the glass and see my daughter is my goal; I don’t have for precious time for the blow dryer to steal. It’s walking into the salon and saying “bangs” because I want to shake things up a bit and do something exciting that doesn’t involve strapping myself to something and leaping off some sort of high building.

It’s knowing that playing with brushes and color and smoothing on a bright red lip is no longer about covering up. It’s not about layering it on, or pulling hair in front of my face to hide how I really feel about myself. It’s about feeling good about who I am and then enjoying that outward expression of beauty. For me that is what has been transformative -- not the transitions from blonde to brunette and short to long and wavy to straight, but the realization that this beauty thing? It isn’t about pressure to look a certain way or fit a certain mold. It’s about self-love and acceptance. And okay, maybe mascara.

And that’s why I can walk into a salon on a whim on a Tuesday and fearlessly request bangs. Because I want to. And I’m not afraid to hide anymore.

This post is part of BlogHer's Transformative Beauty editorial series, made possible by Sonia Kashuk at Target.

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