Feeling it soak in.
I have the pleasure of working just two blocks away from Union Square in San Francisco. Last Tuesday a colleague of mine who works out of our Home Office (which is just 4 blocks away from Union Square in the opposite direction) my boss and I met there for a quick online marketing meeting. It was seriously beautiful outside and the sun was shining down on the 3 of us, gloriously!
Being outside increased our productivity, I have 3 pages of notes to prove it! Vitamin D is clearly more powerful than a sugar free red-bull. When we got up to leave I thought about how it felt to soak in the sun and the surroundings. There were palm trees and tons of people all around us, some tourists, some locals, everyone was smiling and enjoying the first warm day of Spring in the city.
It felt wonderful.
I felt confident, safe in my own skin, strong in my own skin. My weight, how not hungry or hungry I was, my hair, my outfit, none of it mattered. I think although, YES I still have 20lbs to go to reach my goal, I'm still 62lbs thinner than I was, 62lbs healthier than I was.
Even though I'm missing 62lbs, I'm clearly making up for it with happiness and confidence and acceptance of who I am now. I lost the weight, I've kept it off, I'm losing more & I have this little corner of the internet to talk about it, learn from it and share it.
Having confidence is NOT something I'm used to. It's fun y'all! On Saturday my husband and I (and Andi & Tatiana - friends who are also photographers) shot a wedding, it was a large group of people and would have been the perfect formula for an anxiety attack for the old me. I was going to have to direct/yell at a lot of lovely people & tell them exactly what to do, so my husband could capture the exact shot I was envisioning. It's like I became someone else for 7 hours. & I did it in a dress.
I didn't realize it until 4 hours in, that I was having fun with it, I was directing an entire wedding shoot successfully and the photos are glorious as a result of our team work. Our team work is a result of me being able & capable enough in my own skin, to get in front of 15 or 25 or 50 people and make them all laugh at the same time - creating amazing photographs that the bride and groom will cherish forever.
IT WAS FUN and as the night went on, I realized what it felt like to be comfortable in front of strangers, being the new me, it was lovely.. and surprising!
I didn't weigh myself this week. GASP! I kind of don't care though. I think I look okay with or without knowing if I gained or lost half a pound anyway!
I suppose you can judge for yourself. That's me, in the middle - getting ready to bark orders at a bunch of guys!