feeling the sads
I usually try to keep things upbeat on this blog, but sometimes I feel like I have to let some real life creep in too. I know that my life is generally good - I have a great fiancé, wonderful family and friends, 2 great stinky pugs, a job, a car, a house, etc. But all those things don't mean you always feel as blessed as you are.
There are lots of posts going around right now regarding what you are thankful for. Though I am thankful for all these things, I can't help but get a case of the sads every now and then. So here we go...
1. Work/money. I worked for 3 years after college before I started law school. I went to law school with a grand plan to come out and be super successful and financially independent. And that is not the reality. My student loans are pretty obscene and, though I'm not broke, I'm not rolling in the dough. I just get a little down when I can't do all the things I want to do due to financial reasons. Yes, I have stuff and I have some savings so I know things could be much worse. But it seems like at the end of the month after the bills are paid etc, I don't have much left for other things I want. Considering the fact that I'm 31 and have an advanced degree, not the best feeling.
2. Confidence. Yesterday I took part in a post on Diaries of an Essex Girl about body confidence. Though I mostly feel good in the skin I'm in, it's tough to not compare myself to others, especially when my exercise of choice (ballet) entails being in a leotard, often around some girls that are 10+ years younger than me. I also am worried about fitting into my wedding dress. My waist measured over 1 size bigger than my bust/hips, so I'm going to have to try to squeeze into a size that is a little too small for my waist, so that the dress isn't huge everywhere else. I really only need to lose about 1-2 inches off my waist, but that is easier said than done. With the colder weather, I'm just not feeling the motivation and am hearing the call of ice cream and chips/dip instead. Oops.
3. Wedding. Speaking of wedding, I previously discussed how I didn't want a wedding, but now I am planning one. I'm excited for a lot of it but then I still have the feelings of guilt in the back of my mind about spending so much on one day.
4. House. Yes, we have a house. But the house is over 70 years old and needs lots of decent/major upgrades before we can even think of selling it. Including - removing 2-3 trees in the backyard and landscaping, a new kitchen including a new dishwasher, possibly removing a wall, un-wallpapering the dining room, new washer/dryer, and probably a new furnace. We don't need to do any of these things, but I think if we don't, we'll have a hard time selling it in a few years. Realizing the house you bought is a lot more work than you can do/afford is crappy.
5. Blogging. It seems like blogging slumps are going around right now. I'm feeling a little lost and out of ideas/motivation lately. I've been continuing to post but don't always feel my heart is in it, which also means I'm seeing less interaction/pageviews. I want to make some changes but am not even sure where to start. I love interacting with my readers and other bloggers, but I've just kinda felt like an outsider lately.
So yeah, enjoy that load of depression above. Woohoo. I've just been in a funk lately and need to find my happy place/motivation again. Oh and with Thanksgiving just a week away, I also need to be grateful the awesomeness in my life.
Anyone else feeling the sads lately? Maybe we can blame it on the weather and the fact that (at least near me), it gets dark before I even leave work in the evenings. Any tips for getting out of a funk?