Females - are we all being too nice?

Over the course of a month, my good friend has gone through one of the hardest break-ups I have ever heard of. It was 8 years, and it ended sunddenly and without an explanation. Without getting into the nitty gritty details of the situation, the guy was a douche (sorry I'm not sorry). 

They found eachother in the beginning of college and she stood by him through his medical illness - basically giving up her entire twenties to be there for him. He wakes up at 27 and decides he is well and healthy and dumps her ass to the curb because he wants to experience the single life he never did. GTFO! 

Can you believe that someone that is human can even leave someone as nice as my friend just because they never got to be single? Yes we all remember that scene from Sex and the City where Samantha decides that she can't be in a relationship because someone stood by her through cancer. Anyone remember this?

I can understand it, but I don't buy it.  How do you just leave and start a whole new life without the person who was there for you for 8 years through thick and thin. Maybe he doesn't realize that she too had to give up her twenties to be in the hospital. And me being a twenty something myself, I can relate that it would be impossible to do that. Instead of going to frat parties and making mistakes, she was in the hospital spooning him red jello. 

So he's better now, and they break up and he leaves without a single explanation other than "I want to be single". He has ignored her for well over a month and acts like she never exsisted for the past 8 years. Okay, I get that women are different than men and yes I'm being biased because I am a woman, but wait, does he have a heart? Forget closure and what he owes her, but just be a decent human being and let her down easy - not cold turkey. 

Anyways, so we get to talking about what the problem in their relationship might have been. She thinks that it was because they fought too much about where to eat. I tried not to laugh when she first told me because I knew she was being serious. I have been in a relationship for some time now and I WISH my biggest argument was where to eat, but sadly my beau and I like to fry bigger fish. 

She is so lost and confused because she was always nice to him. Okay, hit pause ladies.

PAUSE.

Let's think about this for a while and relate it to your own life.  Are we all just too nice? 

I thought that the better explanation was that we are nice to the WRONG people. 

How many situations are we put in daily where we know that whether we are being nice and polite, we are never going to get anything in return. That girl in the cubicle next to you that wears low cut shirts is never going to stop hitting on your boyfriend when he visits no matter how many skinny vanilla lattes you bring her, so why keep doing it? That asshole waiter at your favorite restuarent probably still spits in your food but you tip him well in hopes that he will be nice to you ONE DAY. 

Ladies, lets STOP waiting for our ONE DAY. We have instincts. Probably the best ones compared to our male counterparts. Let's use them. Let's not be nice to the wrong people. We will keep attracting many bad energies around us. We have to stand up and say no to the mean bullies in our life and live for ourselves. I am sure every one of you can relate. 

There were many times in my friend's relationship where she knew she was being nice and would never get anything in return. But she kept doing it because she waited for her "one day". The sad truth is that our one day only comes if we seize it ourselves. 

The most important person you have to be nice to is yourself. In the end, it's you all by yourself. 

 

 

-N

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