A Few Questions For The Universe

1. Why do teenager boys walk and hold onto their crotch? Are they worried it’s going to vanish?

2. Why does my washing machine eat only one of a set of socks and never the whole set? I would think two would taste better than one.

3. Why does the cat meow to come in and then when I open the door she just stands on the threshold in indecision?

4. Why do men like to go outside to pee in the woods with the dogs? What is wrong with peeing in the toilet like the upright humans they are? Actually, scratch this one, I’m just jealous I can’t do that.

5. Why do I always get stuck at the train tracks waiting on a SLOW train, no matter what time I try to get into town?

6. Why am I always the one to find the spiders and not Alpha Man, who isn’t terrified of them? (I’m talking to you, Mr. Wolf Spider, hiding out in the mud room waiting for me)

7. Why do the dogs come to me when they have to go out and no one else in this house?

8. Why do kids in trouble always start their stories with “everyone was doing it”. At least give me an inventive reason for your stupidity.

9. Why do the glorious days of spring have to come with so many wasps?

How about you. Any questions for the universe? Observations? Or just want to say hi? Please do, I love each and every comment, you guys make my day, every single day.


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