Fight or flight? When is the right time to leave your relationship?
By tipp_of_the_iceberg on January 03, 2010
Okay, so here we go with the first blog for 2010 and the topic is a bit like an open wound: it's a sore spot but won't get better unless it's touched. So let's all get together and touch this one, okay?
Let me start by saying that this blog is personal to a lot of people and even though I'm basing it on a few recent conversations I've had, it has been the topic of many, many conversations among friends and girlfriends and it's a battle that many are having within themselves. Let me also say that I didn't include the names of the people asking for this advice at their request. Now that we have all of that out of the way, let us begin...
So it's 2010; a new year and a brand new decade. Time for changes and progress and resolutions and all that good stuff. And NOWHERE is that more important that in the relationships we have with our significant others. Now is the time for bad relationships to get better and great ones to be magnificent. Time and attention being paid to each other's needs is imperative and shoring up the walls against attacks from outsiders is of the utmost importance.
So here is the question of the hour: Should an individual stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of their child(ren)?
Guy number one has been married for about 5 years and has 2 kids. His wife has become a selfish, spoiled princess. He told me she refuses to compromise and if he threatens to leave, she threatens to take him to court for child support and alimony and if they do argue, she reminds him that she can go back home to her parents at any time. BUT this guy grew up in a 2-parent household and insists that his children should, too.
The female I spoke to has been married for about a decade and has 3 children. Her husband is verbally and emotionally abusive and has beaten her self esteem down to nothing. She has no job, no job skills, no degree and no transportation. But because of the kids, she feels she has to stay with him.
And the final guy married his high school sweetheart. Things were great while they were dating, but once he "put a ring on it," things went downhill FAST. She refuses to take care of him or even herself, won't dress up or go anywhere and has neglected him completely when it comes to bedroom concerns. But because he grew up without his father, he's staying to keep his children from going through the same thing.
So with life being so short, should people remain in miserable marriages simply for the sake of the children? Is that doing the honorable thing? Are the children better off in a happy single parent home or an anger-filled 2 parent home?
I have several friends that are depending on your advice, so please think about this and give your opinion or share your experiences.
And that's only the Tipp of the Iceberg...
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