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Paula Gregorowicz, owner of The Paula G. Company, helps you discover and successfully create the work you are meant to do in the world. Through the p...
 
 
 
 

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Finding Balance in Your Life and Business

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Oh that elusive work/life balance. Just when you think no one is talking about it (yet alone achieving it) it comes around again. Perhaps the reason that is so is because balance is a natural human state and one that we all crave. Without balance, bodies, minds, and even machines break down. The secret is finding that right balance for you so you can perform at your peak and enjoy life along the way.

I personally have decided that balance is elusive and there is a better way - aligning your life with your values. That being said, a measure of balance is still required but when you're clear on what is most important to you it becomes far more natural instead of a forced state.

As hard as it is to achieve balance in a corporate career sometimes it can be even more challenging when you own your own business. It can feel as if there is no way to take that break. Yet it is just as crucial if not even more crucial and that is why you need to build it into the plan. Recent article "Growing Your Business with Marketing, Week 18:Full stop" by the communicatrix hits the nail on the head:

Your marketing plan is missing Saturday and Sunday for a reason You heard it here first: I’m officially human; I can’t work seven days per week. At least, not pushing 50 with a chronic illness. Nor, have I discovered this week, do I particularly want to. I’m sure that it’s not going to be completely smooth, this transition to a more balanced lifestyle, but it’s imperative, if for no other reason than I cannot work at all when I become ill or exhausted.

That is why you need to build your business and career to support your life versus having it run you.

If you don't you may find yourself at that breaking point. The one where all the shoes drop and you're forced to make a change because you're too mentally and physically spent to do anything but. Sassymonkey talks about her own experience with these Tough Choices.

Most of the time work/life balance for women gets bantered about in the same sentence as being a mother and raising a family. Yet balance is still a challenge for single women or even women in a relationship who have chosen to or are unable to have children. The situation may be a bit different but challenges still remain. Men often get left right out of the balance equation (as if they don't need it too). That is why the recent announcement about David Souter leaving the Supreme Court was so controversial and wrought with opinions. The assumptions and accusations fly in the post "Souter wanted his life back: what a powerful statement". I mean (GASP) he exercised his right to choose what is most important to him and people came out of the woodwork to vilify him.  He's experiencing what so many women have for years. No wonder everyone is afraid to stand up for what they believe in.

Work/Life Balance for Singles is always a challenge. I can remember similar experiences to those shared in this post when I worked for corporate. Because while I wasn't single, my same-sex partner didn't "count".

Often, there are higher expectations for those without spouses and children. Working in corporate America, I have been told that putting in extra hours would be expected during a crunch, not a problem. I think everyone has heard that request at one time or another. It is what often follows that is insulting: “After-all, you’re single. You have no responsibilities.” Being single somehow allows my free time to become someone else’s asset.

Another personal take on "Work/Life Balance -- Without the Kids" comes from Defending Pandora.

I'm not planning on having children, and there are plenty of women who feel the way I do. So after class, I spoke to the instructors and explained my situation. I asked for a discussion revolving around a woman's work/life balance issues that didn't include children. A friend of mine laughed when I told this to him: "In my office, women who are single just work their asses off until they have kids, and then comes the work/life balance question." Really? Single women--or in my case--childless women are just expected to work until

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Tori_Founder_Zoe_Foods 5 pts

I have come to the conclusion that the quest for balance ( http://www.zoefoods.com/blog ) is akin to the quest for the Holy Grail. We’re not going to find it and we’re not going to stop looking either. For that matter, I’m not so sure that if we found it, we’d even realize that we had achieved the elusive state of balance.

I prefer to think of my quest for balance as a journey spread over my lifetime. I have periods of intense work (starting Zoe Foods ( http://www.zoefoods.com ) – okay the last 9 years of Zoe Foods ( http://www.zoefoods.com )) and intense play (taking time off to work on sailboats in the Caribbean after finishing business school while working full-time). When I got married and had children, I found that my periods of intensity had to be of a shorter duration or I would miss participating in my children’s life. My life now has become a tapestry in which work and personal are mixed to the point that they are sometimes indistinguishable.

Tori
Founder & President, Zoe Foods
Keep dreaming, keep believing, keep achieving
Mompreneur Musings: The Quest for Balance ( http://www.zoefoods.com/blog ) at http://www.zoefoods.com/blog ( http://www.zoefoods.com/blog/childcare-conundrum/ )
http://www.zoefoods.com ( http://www.zoefoods.com/ ) (my company!)

paulag01 5 pts

Oh Wilma - I love how you share you just emodied the bully when you made the shift. I can so relate to that initially. It is SO deeply ingrained in the culture, in us and because everyone else is doing we think it is "normal".  Er, not really....  Thanks for your thoughts.

Elana - thanks for the link.  Very relevant and interesting contribution to this conversation.

Next Rich Girl - -so very true. Balance isn't about trying to eat the whole buffet at once. That is a recipe for overwhelm and setting oneself up for failure!

ynnej - so true -- prioritize first before jumping in. Can't tell you how many times I got the order reversed too!

Appreciate all the thoughts and conversation...

-Paula

Paula Gregorowicz
The Paula G Company

http://www.thepaulagcompany.com

Elana Centor 5 pts

Interesting interview on Minnesota Public Radio about work-life balance ( http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2009/... ) which says that men in a two income household are feeling more stress over life work balance than their wives.

elana
Blogher Contributing Editor,Business&CareersFunnyBusiness ( http://funnybusiness.typepad.com/funnybusiness )

Wilma Ham 5 pts

I love this line from 'Next Rich Girl' Je;
"So "balance" is actually about making the tough choices between what you need to do, what you want to do and what you think you should do."   

I think there is the crux of the matter and I would add, what you think you are are allowed to do. It is all about choosing, however we are confused about the choices we have. 
What choice do we have when the whole world is putting the fear of God into us when we even dare to consider to NOT to follow  the 'work hard and don't put personal life before work or else' rules.

We are bullied into developing core beliefs about work that suits big hierarchical corporations and they openly are threatening us! You cna hear it in the language they use.

Of course we are fearful to choose what could be best for us as it nearly always clashes with what 'the big bully' work wants from us.

Setting boundaries around work is all good and well but that requires a lot of support from outsiders who will help you to stand up against that bully!

And then comes the saddest bit. When I left the corporate world guess who became my bully then?
ME, I was so used to the belief that working hard is necessary for success that I then used a whip on myself to have me work 24/7 in my own business.
How crazy is that?

It has taken me a long time to get over that and work from my heart.
Because my heart and intuition got confused by all this bullying too.
The heart in the end didn't know it was Arthur or Martha, was it good or was it bad what it craved for?
I had to let my heart recover from that fearful bussiness and now it is no longer confused or fearful.
I am NOT afraid to take a walk when the sun shines, or take weekends off.  
I know it all will work out.
And guess what, life is ticking over grand and it is only getting better the more stronger my heart is becoming. 

Wilma Ham

www.wilmasblog.com ( http://www.wilmasblog.com/ )

anotherjen 5 pts

I think the problem is that so many women think that "balance" means finding the time to do every single thing you want/need to do -- and do all of it perfectly.  That's why we all get so run down.  The truth is that unless your an heiress or have a time machine (or maybe both!), that's pretty impossible.  So "balance" is actually about making the tough choices between what you need to do, what you want to do and what you think you should do. 

--------------------------------------------------

Next Rich Girl ( http://www.NextRichGirl.com ), personal finance for savvy women ( http://www.nextrichgirl.com/ )

ynnej 5 pts

Great post! I absolutely agree. It wasn't until I had to start going to counseling for anxiety, depression, and substance abuse that I realized that, as a single women, my inability (or unwillingness, or fear, or whatever) to prioritize when it came to my career vs. my personal life was seriously damaging me as a person!  I am so thankful that I reached this breaking point and gained some tools in setting boundaries  BEFORE I committed to someone in a relationship. Previous relationships had really suffered from my lack of boundaries at work, and I never understood why.

I have to say, being married without kids seems to confuse people a lot when it comes to categorizing me in the workplace ("Can she work tons of overtime since she doesn't have kids?!!")I'm almost going to miss confusing people, I was glad it made them think a little. Now I'm afraid I might look like someone on the Mommy track...Oh well, I guess there are advantages and disadvantages to every stage of life!

http://ConscientiousConfusion.blogspot.com

paulag01 5 pts

You hit the nail on the head Kathy, at least in terms of my views.  As I wrote about in my post linked from within this article - balance is nearly impossible - we always hover AROUND a point of balance. Aligning with your values and integrating what is important in your life and business is the key.

Thanks for sharing

Paula Gregorowicz
The Paula G Company

http://www.thepaulagcompany.com

Kathy333 5 pts

I don't believe in balance. It's funny I recently wrote a post on allbusiness about work/life integration ( http://www.allbusiness.com/society-social/work-lei... )because I really, really feel you can't have it all at the same time. Balancing to me is impossible - with two young kids and my own business - so instead i try to figureo ut what has to be done, what is most important, and go from there. sometimes that means more time with family and less on work, and sometimes that means the opposite. for a long time I tried to attain balance - then I took ita little easier on myself and realized to be happy, I have to understand there are some give and takes, and that is okay!

Kathy

Allbusiness:Working Mothers ( http://www.allbusiness.com/specialty-businesses/wo... )

Mama Marathoner ( http://www.mamamarathoner.com )