Finding time for myself...

As I struggle with juggling all these new responsibilities I've
learned that if I give a little I get a little in return. It has always
been hard for me to ask for help. I like to try to do everything myself
but as I am learning how to run my own business (with my husband) that
I can't do it all by myself. I worked a 13 hour day on Weds and I was
completely wiped out the next day.  But things are starting to shift
for us time wise, Maximilien has started the creche this week and it
really has given me a breath of fresh air.  Also, he is absolutely
happy at the creche. When we stroll up to the door, he starts kicking
his feet and bucking to get out of the stroller. He is so very happy to
"go to school" everyday.  He starts his day at 9am and that means I
start my day at the tea house at 9am as well. Before I was starting an
hour later and always felt rushed. Never had time to have breakfast and
was always putting something in the oven right at the last minute. 
With this extra hour this morning, I've baked madeleines, had morning
coffee and I have even found time to blog! Blogging is not a
fundamental need for me but it gives me a break and I take pleasure in
these few moments writing down what I'm thinking about. 

Now that our lives are falling into more of a routine I find myself wanting to have another baby. Friends who have just had new little ones
oblige me with visits so that I can get my baby fix but I see Max
playing at home alone and I feel the urge to give him a brother or
sister. I know what it's like growing up with siblings. Being the
oldest of 5, I always had someone to play with or talk to. Never a
boring moment in the Osbourn household, let me tell you... But then I
try to foresee how I will be able to juggle it all. The tea house takes
us a huge chunk of my time and I know that I would never be able to
accord the second child the same amount of attention I was able to give
Max. One of my commenters on Flickr once wrote that I loved Max too
much not to have another child.  At the time, I couldn't believe what
she had written... but now 18 months later I feel that I could. This is
not an announcement that we are expecting another child but it could
happen someday soon. I hold my breath as I type this...

*******

So,
4 days later after I started this entry I am ready to post it. I still
love very much what I am doing with my life now. I love being a mother.
I love being a wife. I want to be a better friend and a better time
manager and I think all will be well.

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