I hate recommending books to people. Really hate it. I try to avoid it as often as humanly possible.

Quite often, books I'm sure people will love - they don't. And books I'm cautious about recommending to them - they do. This happens a lot with my mom. For instance...

I sent her The Stupidest Angel a few years ago. I was sure she'd love it. She did not.

I sent her The Wordy Shipmates last week for her birthday. I thought she might not love it. So far, she does.

It's a toss up with her and any time I send her a book, I worry. 

Sometimes, I know someone will love a book but it's like pulling teeth to get them to try it. Take our friend RE (nelle) for instance. I wanted her to read Octavia Butler years ago but "it's outside of my genre!" and she wouldn't do it. Well, I sent her a book and sure enough, her response was "it's outside of my genre!" but guess what - she couldn't put it down! Just as I expected. Now she's hooked and I just sent her three more Butler books that I KNOW she's going to love digging into.  Maybe in the future she will remember this and when I say YOU must read THIS... she will. (right, I'm dreaming.)

With my kids, I have a much easier time. They don't always take my recommendations (moms know nothing...) but when they do, they grudgingly admit that I'm right. (Jenn and The Pink Carnation series. Prince J and Bloodsucking Fiends. RJ and Twilight. Chris and Poppy Z. Brite. MIchelle and virtually everything I've ever recommended. Liz and Castle Waiting.)

~Denise BlogHer Community Manager
Flamingo House Happenings

oprah's recommendations, and random people at border's, have the suckiest opinions.

and anything decided by a book club.

Disa Fedorowicz

I also am not a big fan of recommending books mostly because I want to recommend books that I loved and if the person who reads it doesn't love it, it makes me kind of sad.  Instead, I take those books that I loved and think of someone who would love it as well and gift it or loan it.  Or like this summer my brother asked for good books to read and I really took my time to think of the various reasons I would recommend books to him and tried to come up with a great list.  I definitely wouldn't do well in a "tell me right now" situation!

This is sort of related -- I generally hate when people in public ask me what I'm reading because I feel like it counts as a recommendation/endorsement from me.  I don't want to give anyone an opinion on a book until I'm done with it and I certainly don't want to try and explain to a stranger why I chose to read a certain book.  It freaks me out.

Kristen M.

We Be Reading - http://webereading.com

About 10 minutes after finishing  The Help, I called my friend Lynne  in St. Louis and said, " It's in hardback but you really have to get this one." I got it for $9.99 and read it via my Kindle App on my iPod but Lynne isn't a digital kind of reader and I knew that a hardback was not part of her budget.
I suggested she buy it with a friend , another friend who grew up in the south. Two days later Lynn called, based on my recommendation she bought the book (not sharing), and said it was the best book she read all year. This from a woman who reads nonstop.

We then talked for over an hour about the book, growing up in the south with "help," She with Pearl and me with Minnie- the same name as one of the main characters in the book.

Having someone say that the book you suggested the read was the best of the year, is one of the joys of recommending books. It  lets you connect with people on a deeper level. You know that the words of an author touched their soul in a way that your's was touched. It 's a wonderful way to connect and  even if the person didn't like the book the way you did, the conversation about te different perspectives always helps you understand the other person in a way you never would if you didn't have the benefit of learning about them via their attitudes about a character or storyline. The thought of not recommending books is absolutely unacceptable.  Not only that, from the comments on these posts I have a bunch of new authors that I will browse to see if they will be good reads for me.

Giving a book recommendation to a friend is such a joy particularly when they love the book and you can then spend time talking about the plot, the writing style, the character development, the stuff you didn't quite get.

The fact is it's rare when I don't recommend a book. So if you love mysteries and haven't discovered Steig Larsson, he's a must read. I don't know anyone who hasn't fallen in love with his books. And  if you read him and don't like the book, I want to know why.

Like many of you, my reading tastes don't match my daughter's or son's. Occassionally, I will venture and recommend a book to them. I am very selective in those recommendations and it's usually non-fiction stuff. However, I just read Nick Hornby's Juliet, Naked and think that my daughter will definitely enjoy that one.

My son is a bit tougher. But he did introduce me to Dave Eggers.  I do believe it was a mention that Megan Smith made on Facebook that got me started on Elizabeth George's  Detective Lynley series. Thank you so much. Have read four and feel very lucky I have so many more to read.

elana Blogher Contributing Editor,Business&Careers FunnyBusiness

I have a core group of three friends, plus myself. We're all avid readers. We will usually pass new books (or older books) around when we have finished reading them, commenting as to our thoughts as we all continue reading. It's a very informal "book club" in the fact that we're all usually reading something else and just simply passing books around to one another. We all have similar personalities with differences that pop up here and there. We all generally like the same type of book.

Except that sometimes we don't.

And of course, if someone likes a book that I thought was hideous (Twilight comes to mind), there is some gasping and general disbelief. And vice versa. All taken with a grain of salt, of course.

The best thing about our constant passing of books is that I have read some things that I never would have read (again, Twilight comes to mind), some of which have catapulted themselves to the top of my favorites list (The Time Traveler's Wife is the prime example here). Sometimes I read a dud (or four, again, referring to the flipping vampire series) but, in the end, reading is reading.

So don't be afraid to suggest books. Even duds can give us something to talk (or rant) about. For eons.  ;)

@FireMom from Stop, Drop and Blog and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land

in my book clubs–yes, plural–always help me expand my comprehension of a book, even if it was a book I didn't like much and wouldn't have read had it not been a book club choice. It helps me see things in a book I wouldn't have discovered on my own. It teaches me how to appreciate the fact that other readers may find something valuable and important in a book that doesn't speak so powerfully to me.

Last night the woman and the next table in Borders listened to my book group discussing a book and turned to recommend "A Short History of Tractors in Ukraine" to us. And you know what, I'll probably read it!

Virginia DeBolt
BlogHer Technology CE | Web Teacher | First 50 Words

I try to keep my ego/personality out of my recommendations unless someone says to me, "You know, I really love everything my Tom Robbins, Bill Bryson, and Marion Zimmer Bradley." Then I know I can pretty much just pick favorite books off my own shelf and hand them over with my heart on my sleeve.

Otherwise, if people aren't sure what they are looking for - especially kids - I start with a question like, "What's the last book that you read and really liked, and tell me some of the things you liked best about it." If they are in a genre I don't know much about, I'm just honest and say, "Sally is your person to talk to about Sci-Fi" or I recommend Amazon.com listmania. That's where people have entire lists of "If you liked _____, you might like ______" recommendations.

As far as my own likes and dislikes revealing too much of my heart and soul and people changing their mind about how they think of me based upon my likes and dislikes, well...better to judge me according to some depth of character or personality instead of something ridiculous like the fact that I can't be bothered to have an actual hair style and I wear shoes from Payless. Truly, though, I don't think I have one friend with whom I match perfectly in book, music, art tastes. Frankly, if I did, she'd probably drive me batty.

Halushki.com

First off - thanks for quoting me!! 

It definitely is a fine art, but a really important one. I worked in bookselling for a couple of years and made sure I read lots so I could make genuine recommendations to the customers. 

When it comes to friends, I'll trust a suggestion from a good friend and have found tons of gems that way. This last week I've written a review a day on my blog - I know not everyone will like everything, but I think it's great to share because it's amazing the difference that discovering a fabulous book can make to a life! 

Jennifer Open Book

So this is an impossible dilemna for me to avoid. I've gotten a bit more adroit about it, though. I do find myself holding back from suggesting books I love for the very reason stated in the post by someone else: it's like giving away a little piece of my soul.

On another subject: I realize the whole Oprah-hate thing is the hot trend and who knows? Maybe there is a whole category dedicated to it on this site somewhere. But have those of you who are dismissing her book club suggestions ever actually READ any of the books on her list? Because if not? You are missing some of the finest writing of our generation, and I mean that with every fiber of my reader's heart.

One of the best things to do on a sleepy Saturday is to take a few hours solo and "page" through the shelves of a bookstore.  Living in NYC there are so many vendors who sell books sidewalk side that it would be a travesty not to pay a visit to them too.  In all, it's fun to be part of the book viewing crowd, relying on others' visual recommendations rather than verbal.  It's a silent activity that speaks volumes! 

(btw, what a fun topic.  Secret confession:  I will never write those in-depth book reviews that some amazing people do on Amazon.  Blessed are they!)

http://www.thecluelesscrafter.com/

I only manage to recommend books on a topic. I can't tell you read this book most of the time. Unless it stuns me into giddyness. Then I tell everyone I know to read it. I never can explain why.

I can't write a book review either.


Retro-Food.com

I recommend books I like or love to people who want or ask for the recommendations, what they do with it after I've recommended something is up to them.   I also recommend restaurants, movies and music.  I have a few friends who have adult ADHD and don't read books from cover to cover unless it grabs them by the throat on the first page. I tend to finish almost everything I start.   Mostly, I refer people to my shelfari page where I post what I read and write short comments about the books.  That way they can browze.

A friend who read non-fiction exlusively pushed me into reading non-fiction years ago.  I'm so glad she did because that opened up a world of books to me that I'm glad I found.  I used to pretty much only read fiction and poetry.  Now I read mostly everything but plays and graphic novels and that's just because I've not time to discover ones I want to read.

Give me recommendations.  I'll get to them as I can.

http://blog.candelarisilva.com

Good and plenty!

There are a variety of databases that librarians have been using since at least the early 1990s (previously they were paper-based books) that help define what patrons would likely like reading from their previous lending history or likes.  The algorithms have gotten a lot better over the years.  Also, if the patrons are regulars, you get to know who likes the same things as other patrons.

Many of these databases are now available via your library directly to patrons.

MLO / Melissa

Books, Movies, Games, Ovarian Cancer, and Life in General at http://www.mloknitting.com/