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1. I trained as a nurse, and worled health care for almost 10 years. I spent 6 years as an RN and 4 years before that as a Nurses' Aide. I worked in personal care homes and hospitals. I worked in the city and in the country. I even did some sommuinity nursing. Eventually I gave it all up ~ it became too much. I felt as though nursing required me to play tennis under water while juggling with explosives. After three years of absence from the profession, I (now) contemplate a return.
2. I sometimes feel lonely. I always feel like an amputee. I used to think every moment I pass would bring me closer to finding the thing that will erase that feeling. Perhaps I have found that thing. Perhaps I am that thing.
3. I also realize, though, the true solitude of existing. Funny how friends seem like wet rice paper when life really gets shitty.
4. Mostly I also realize how truly fortunate and blessed I am for every little thing I have: for motherhood, for wifehood, for womanhood, for feather pillows, for goats' milk soap, for clean running water, for Vietnamese bakeries.
5. I take courage to tell the truth, even when it threatens to cast me in a not-so-flattering light. Its important to me, to possess the guts enough to speak my mind, in my virtual lair. I could tailor my message to make my readers (Ha - like I have any of those left?) more comfortable. Why should I? Let's remember - I am not a newspaper. I just am.
