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Journalist Rachel Sklar recently fessed up to a mistake on her part. I admire her public apology greatly. Not only did she admit the mistake that critics called her out on but she owned responsibility for the mistake, didn't attempt to blame others and promised to not only to make an effort to fix this mistake but to also do better in the future. And because she was so transparent in her confession and apology I am willing to take a chance on her again.
Her mistake was in overlooking diversity in a list she made when she would vociferously decry such an omission by others. I have seen quite a few of these type of homogeneous lists and rather than admit their error, instead the list makers often become defensive and offer excuses and make no attempts to work harder to create a stronger, more credible list.
It’s an omission we are fixing even as I type this, but that’s not the point: the point is taking responsibility for it and holding it up as yet another reminder of how easily groups are marginalized in our media. Even by people who loudly complain about being marginalized.
I am one of those people – and this mistake is my fault.... Except that it was my job to notice – and as someone who always keeps an eagle eye for women on lists such as these, I take responsibility for not expanding that eye further.
If this were a list of just men I’d hit the roof, Twitter madly and blog angrily. So I not only understand why black listservs and blogs are blowing it up, I applaud it. I would too, and that’s part of the goal in writing this post. Things won’t change unless examples like this are held up as things that matter.
Rachel Sklar at Mediaite: A Glaring Omission
Sklar's post serves as a reminder that there are many good reasons why we should own up to our mistakes. Here are five of my favorites:
1. Get a job or a promotion
Owning up to your mistakes is good business 101. Thinking that your failings and missteps will not be noticed or will silently be forgiven only diminishes your talent and successes. Leaders admit their mistakes quickly and then share what they've learned and how they will move forward. Most importantly they then take the actions they say they will and demonstrate their improvement.
2. Learn how to bounce back
It is also a good life skill to learn how to own your mistakes. You cannot learn from them if you are too busy trying to hide from or deny them. It is impossible to live a mistake-free life. It is also hard to learn how to stand up on our own two feet if we never risk falling down. One of the greatest benefits then from owning up to and learning from our mistakes is that we learn strength and resilience.
3. Defensiveness is not cute
To be stretched and grown by bouncing back from mistakes allows us to be taken more seriously by others as claims of perfection are pretty much unbelievable from any mere mortal. Also, attempting to shift the blame to other people is not the most honorable course of action. It makes you look weak and dishonest which are not generally admirable qualities. Realizing that we are fallible humans makes us more attractive humans.
4. Become a better student of life
When we don't try to cover-up our boo-boo's we gain valuable perspective that makes it possible to keep our eyes open for life's lessons. Plus we learn how to do what we did better the next time around. From actions ranging from tiny to tremendous there are many for which life present opportunities for a do-over.
5. Create change
Unless your ego is so thoroughly invested in your self-image as being the best at something and it won't allow you to recognize your mistakes, you will hold on to the memory of your moments of screw-up. If you know you've done something badly or incorrectly and you do not make an effort to own it and correct it if possible or learn from it regardless, you're likely to ponder, ruminate or even obsess over it. That's not to say that even if you admit your mistake and work on remedying it that you won't turn it over in your mind for a while but I think it is unlikely you can truly move past it without burying the memories deep.
