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As we move closer and closer to the holidays, I'm feeling a wee bit anxious. Sort of like waiting for the proverbial stuff to hit the fan. Caregiving is like that.
A caregiver named Fern, quoted on About.com, said:
“I wish the calendar would flip directly from November to January. We just got settled into our routine since Mom moved in with us. As I look at my calendar, all I see are more things on the to-do list, extra burdens, and the chaos of disrupted schedules.”
Yea. What she said. But, I don't want to feel that way. I don't want to feel like the holidays are just adding to our already chaotic lives. I want to figure out how to enjoy the holidays with this full house.
Here are five tips to help ease the caregiving stress that I'm planning to try.
1. Give yourself permission to do only what you can reasonably manage.
2. Prepare for the caregiver meltdown. I am pretty good about walking about before I have a public meltdown. TW is not so good at that. I'm not sure if we can come up with ways to get her some time alone before she loses it, but I think it's worth a try. It will make her holiday and her mother's better if we can manage it.
3. And then there are the button pushers. Preparing for the button pushers and figure out how to NOT react to it. This is probably going to be the hardest thing to do, but also probably the most helpful.
4.TW's getting some coupons! She joked that she almost asked for "Make tea" coupons from me, for her birthday. Well... she's getting those coupons. It's the least I can do to ease her load. It sounds silly, it's a tiny little thing, but it will be one tiny little thing that I can do during the holiday mayhem that will definitely help.
5. Lose the fantasy, live in the reality. This is a pretty hard task for us every holiday, TW does like her grand gestures and big ideas. It's going to be harder this year because so many things about our lives are different (and more difficult) than in past years.
And here are three more ideas that might help you but probably won't work well for our family.
1) Caregiver.com recommends a spreadsheet that allows you to determine which activities are too stressful.
2) Have a backup plan. This seems to be smart advice for those who have outside help.
3) If you normally have really busy, high key holiday celebrations - consider toning it down a bit.
Are you a caregiver? Have you been one in the past? How do you manage the extra stress that the holidays bring?
~~Denise
Flamingo House Happenings
