Fixing the Foundation

Time has a way of getting by you if you are not paying attention!  It has been several days since I last shared anything here.  I did go on Friday morning, the day after Thanksgiving and did weigh in.  I lost 14.4 pounds making the total now 31.8 all together. I am planning on going again tomorrow night which will be Thursday again and hit the scale another time.  However this week has been challenging for me – I have not done as well as I have in the past few weeks and am expecting to see that I will have gained.  There have been cookies and cake and leftovers and such. I am not doing anything really bad as I would have in the past but have just been grazing. The other night I was just hungry and had already used all my daily points.  I made myself a peanut butter sandwich – I still only used the 2 tablespoons I always use and count which I think is funny.  If I was going to be really bad I should have slathered on the peanut butter at least an inch or so thick- but I didn’t I still only used the amount I always count!!  But either way up or down I am going to stand on the scale and see what it says, stay for the meeting and go on from there.  Friday begins another day, a new week.  I am looking for some protein rich snacks and things to fill in – I think I have been just hungry because I have not been eating enough protein.  There has not been anything to stick to my ribs and that will show on the scale.  Even if you are eating things that are low in points there is still the volume that could get you too! 

I did hear from the Steven Curtis Chapman people.  I am going to be singing on stage with several other choir members this Sunday evening at the 12 Gifts of Christmas Tour.  The tour will be here for one night.  We will be performing during the very end of the show – we are backing up Steven Curtis Chapman!  I am very excited about this!  This is just the coolest thing ever!! I am confident that God will provide a way for me to afford the ticket to get in.  They are filming the performance here in Green Country so I am going to need to do some shopping and will have to decide whether or not I should get my hair cut now or can I just make it work and wait until I am about ready to go see Thomas to get it cut.  I am seriously trying to save as much money as I can for this vacation; however this concert is a pretty important event as well! I will go to God in prayer he will show me what to do- he always does! And we can not forget the all important question – what do I wear?  We are asked to wear a long sleeve red or black shirt.  I have lots of red but not long sleeved- I will need to dig in the closet and see if there is something I can make work.  I bet I have a sweater or something that will do. 

My friend Vicky and I got started on the Made to Crave bible study yesterday.  We are going though it ourselves before we teach it as a life group for the church family.  We worked both lesson 1 and lesson 2.  I have already worked lesson 1 and have come to terms about why I can’t/don’t want to indulge.  Going from feeling deprived to feeling empowered.  Lesson 2 was just as thought provoking.  It reminded me that if you don’t fix your foundation all the work and the weight you may loose will be for naught because if you don’t have a firm foundation you will fall (fail!). 

 There have been several people who have thought I should have the surgery.  You know either the one where they actually cut your stomach or the one that they place a band around your stomach.  Yes I bet either one of those would work and the weight would come off in record time.  I could then have the surgery to get the excess skin taken off so I would look really thin and trim.  However- both surgeries are dangerous and if

I can not get a handle on why I am overeating then no matter how many times I go under the knife the weight will creep back on because I have not solved the problem! I am not willing to take that chance.  I have learned that I am looking for comfort in the food.  Well comfort, love, company, acceptance, feeling like I am not a failure.  All important emotions to deal with however food does not fill those only God can.  All the food has done is to increase my weight/waist size.  It is good to finally figure out that the food is not doing me any good at all.  The extra weight has hurt my health.  My blood pressure is high enough I am medicated.  Until I lost this weight that has come off I was having trouble standing for any length of time, I was having trouble walking, and walking meant I had to go pretty slow because I would loose my breath and not be able to breathe.  Not to mention I have sleep apnea.  I should have a sleep study done but I would not be able to tolerate the mask on my face and the study would show what my Mom has already found out.  I don’t sleep very well.  I know she worries about me so loosing this weight has also helped to ease her mind. 

 So knowing that God is my husband, father, friend then I can go to him with anything.  He will show me the comfort and love I have been unsuccessfully seeking to fill in with food. 

Psalm 46:1-3 (NIV)

1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 3 though it’s waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.  

This has reminded me that God is my foundation.  I need to turn to him for comfort, love, and acceptance.  God loves us unconditionally no matter what.  There was nothing I did to make him start loving me and there is nothing I can do to make him stop loving me.  He just loves me.  That is something good right there!

 I have decided this weight is coming off- no matter what. I am not turning to modern science and asking my doctor to cut my stomach or putting on a band.  I am working the weight watchers program and will be skinny in no time!!

 I am praying for you!

Miss Wanda

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