Bio
AV Flox is a Peruvian transplant living in Los Angeles. She is the editrix-in-command of Sex and the 405, a site that shows you what your newspaper w...
 
 
 
 

Most Popular

"Forever" Dies Hard

  • Share This Post
  • Pin It
  • 54
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

I didn't want to sell my engagement ring -- more out of obstinate pride than any sentimental reason. When my husband and I got a divorce, I did the tasteful thing and offered to return the ring to him. He told me to keep it. Leaving a cushy executive job made sense if one was going to be a wife. But surely I didn't think this silly notion of supporting myself as a writer was going to work out? "Keep it," he said. "You'll probably need to pawn it before the year's out."

Exes are really good at pushing our buttons. But I wasn't about to give him that pleasure. I withdrew the ring, pivoted in place and left.


Photo by Jessica Diamond (Flickr).

Though the year that followed brought with it a lot of writing work, it was still very much a recession. With most publications preferring to contract writers than hire them, my days were spent not only writing but chasing after unpaid invoices and honing my skills at composing payment demand nastygrams in terrifying legalese.

One day, a large media company for which I had spent a significant amount of time developing a story informed me that no, a check wasn't due to me until the story started generating significant pageviews. I knew that I had never signed a contract to this effect, but having just moved, I couldn't locate my copy.

Stuck with no income until I could locate the contract or someone else came through on their invoice, I remembered the ring with a twinge of bitterness. I'd planned to hold on to it for a long time yet and then do something really crazy with it after I became irrefutably solvent through my writing -- like give it to the next up-and-coming writer who had given up the cushy office and steady paycheck to follow their dreams.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, I reminded myself as I walked into the jeweler's. What I found out inside confused me. The jeweler wasn't interested in buying it. And when I finally found one willing to buy it back after a handful of futile attempts, the amounts they quoted weren't even remotely close to the sum at which the diamond had been appraised. The highest was less than a third of its supposed actual worth.

I didn't sell it. That night, I found the contract and was able to set things straight as far as my finances were concerned. But the difficulty I encountered trying to sell it never stopped bothering me. And then this week, I encountered an article in The Atlantic from 1982 that laid it out for me quite clearly: a diamond's "worth" is little more than a product of vary careful image management.

The diamond invention -- the creation of the idea that diamonds are rare and valuable, and are essential signs of esteem -- is a relatively recent development in the history of the diamond trade. Until the late nineteenth century, diamonds were found only in a few riverbeds in India and in the jungles of Brazil, and the entire world production of gem diamonds amounted to a few pounds a year. In 1870, however, huge diamond mines were discovered near the Orange River, in South Africa, where diamonds were soon being scooped out by the ton. Suddenly, the market was deluged with diamonds. The British financiers who had organized the South African mines quickly realized that their investment was endangered; diamonds had little intrinsic value -- and their price depended almost entirely on their scarcity. The financiers feared that when new mines were developed in South Africa, diamonds would become at best only semiprecious gems.

The major investors in the diamond mines realized that they had no alternative but to merge their interests into a single entity that would be powerful enough to control production and perpetuate the illusion of scarcity of diamonds. The instrument they created, in 1888, was called De Beers Consolidated Mines, Ltd., incorporated in South Africa. As De Beers took control of all aspects of the world diamond trade, it assumed many forms. In London, it operated under the innocuous name of the Diamond Trading Company. In Israel, it was known as "The Syndicate." In Europe, it was called the "C.S.O." -- initials referring to the Central Selling Organization, which was an arm of the Diamond Trading Company. And in black Africa, it disguised its South African origins under subsidiaries with names like Diamond Development Corporation and

  • 54
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Comments

Post comment as twitter logo facebook logo
Sort: Newest | Oldest
jesusita 5 pts

I've long been telling people this, but no one seems to believe me that it's true. I have never wanted a diamond and told my husband (then-boyfriend) that if he proposed to me with one, I'd tell him no. (His friends, of course, told him I was just saying that and really did want one. I apparently just didn't want to seem greedy. I told him that he should know me better than his friends and should be able to determine what I really meant.)

I have sent this link to a few people, so they can understand more fully where I'm coming from. No one really wants to believe that they've been duped into buying into an emotional lie, and it's sad how greedy corporations have taken advantage of people's love for one another.

Ugly truth told 5 pts

This article is indeed formative for people who think twice about where their diamonds come from. The price people pay for 'our diamonds' is too high!

wstewart1 5 pts

I had to sell my engagement ring as well. It's amazing how much the markup is. If there ever was a scam, it's this one!

Truthseekerr1966 12 pts

I sold my diamond when I got divorced, I am just that way, whenever a boyfriend or spouse gave me stuff if they did not want it back, I pawned it. It is a hard decision but I wanted no memories and I wanted to move on. Great post.

Indigo 13 pts

I saw Blood Diamond in the theaters and made the decision then to never purchase another diamond. The whole thing makes me ill.

Al_Pal 24 pts

Man...I am SO glad I was never a diamond girl! I knew a bit about DeBeers and their advertising success, but a lot of this was new to me. Fascinating!

I've always preferred colored stones...feeling very thankful for that! Great article.

beckytcy 7 pts

Thank you for posting this fascinating and important article. I wish more people knew this information about diamonds. It is horrifying to me that so many people have bought into this diamond cult.

amlindsey 22 pts

I wrote a paper on this for high school econ and I still remember it, ten years later. I was inspired to write it because I am a total nerd: diamonds fall into a rare category in econ that reverses the supply/demand graph, meaning that the higher the price, the higher the demand (until a certain point, of course). You have to work really hard to achieve this for your product, and you did a great job describing the nastiness that turned diamonds into what we see today. After that research, I swore I'd never wear a diamond, not even an antique diamond. To me, wearing it means participating in the culture that makes the diamond industry flourish. My researched turned up a National Geographic piece about how DeBeers is doing the same thing in Asia that they did here in the 1930s--flooding Asia, especially China with ads that feature AMERICANS with diamond engagement rings. When I read that in 2002, it was working. Asian brides are now getting diamond rings. It makes me so angry.

My engagement ring is a solitaire pearl. They don't have to be mined from the ground and I, personally, don't feel sorry for the shellfish that make them. Pearls also traditionally symbolize good luck and eternity. Oh my gosh, was it SUPER hard to find--we got engaged in a hurry, he proposed with a rose and we bought a ring later--because individual pearls are not expensive. It's such a stupid racket! I even went to Tiffany's in New York and talked to a wedding ring person who used to "work in pearls" who was super sweet and helpful and even tried to get Tiffany's to make me a ring. They won't make a custom ring for under $500,000. I finally found americanpearl.com and I get compliments on my gorgeous, $150 ring all the time.

BlondieChicago 24 pts

Oooh, I also just watched a National Geographic special called the 400 Millian Dollar Emerald, which stated that emeralds are WAY more rare and expensive then diamonds. It was a very interesting program: http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/channel/explorer/facts-400-million-dollar-emerald/

BlondieChicago 24 pts

Wow! This article is fascinating. Thank you for all of this information. My parents and I were just talking about diamonds the other day -- I'll send them this link.

texasebeth 102 pts

I've never really liked diamonds and have known for years that diamonds are not as valuable as colored stones. Real colored stones such as sapphires, garnets, emeralds, etc are much more rare and valuable. they just don't have the marketing behind them because of De Beers' control of the gem market.

RebeccaPi 7 pts

Thank you for posting this. I had a similar experience trying to sell my wedding ring after my divorce. Several jewelers said they simply didn't buy diamonds from the public. One told me it wasn't a real diamond. One said it was horribly flawed with a chip in it that made it worthless, but volunteered to "help me out" by offering $30 for it. I was shocked. I told the jeweler next door to the $30 offer that I simply wanted to know if the diamond in my ring was still in good condition. No mention of wanting to sell. She examined it and said it was in beautiful condition. When she saw the look on my face she asked who had told me differently. To put it simply, I was shocked at the behavior of nearly everyone in the trade.

I hope people will read this, and understand how they are being taken. Or at least realize that if they choose to pay an outrageous sum for a white rock, it's a choice to buy something that is a symbol. I guess our society does that a lot. =/

Like you, I don't ever want another diamond. To me it is a symbol of deception and control. Not something I want in a relationship.

Rebecca

1001ThingsToBeHappyAbout.blogspot.com

Conversation from Twitter

neerav
neerav

pinglo kcarruthers wolfcat missed your earlier convo but afaik popularity of diamonds is result of De Beers marketing, relatively recent

wolfcat
wolfcat

pinglo kcarruthers Mrs wolfcat is well aware of the "non value" of diamonds... this does not stop her telling me to buy her one.

pinglo
pinglo

wolfcat kcarruthers dang! On the plus side that's probably her way of indicating she never intends to ditch the ring (& therefore you!)

wolfcat
wolfcat

pinglo kcarruthers Mrs Wolfcat and I's rings are aircraft grade titanium ( brought on the internet in 1999! ) indestructible :-)

kcarruthers
kcarruthers

wolfcat never underestimate the power of an unexpected shiny gift to the woman in your life / pinglo

Wolfie_Rankin
Wolfie_Rankin

kcarruthers wolfcat pinglo It works both ways, really :)

wolfcat
wolfcat

kcarruthers ah the shiny gift... that would explain that crapple spam about valentines day then :-)

kcarruthers
kcarruthers

Wolfie_Rankin wolfcat pinglo true dat

kcarruthers
kcarruthers

wolfcat pinglo pretty shiny things are not to be sneezed at (prudent men give them as gifts); they're merely poor financial investments

wolfcat
wolfcat

kcarruthers thanks for the sage advice.... I may add it to my new manifesto http://t.co/pZFlMxiJ

ajmaus
ajmaus

kcarruthers blogher the complete Atlantic article, 'Have You Ever Tried to Sell a Diamond?', for ref. http://t.co/CgGsnlB0 ..a great read!

marketurner
marketurner

avflox superb article, thank you

avflox
avflox

marketurner, thank you for reading it!

sciencecomedian
sciencecomedian

RT avflox "Forever" dies hard -- why I never want to receive a diamond again: http://t.co/PKu2LeRO

greenleanings
greenleanings

trx0x Wow, that is an interesting article! I knew the diamond industry was evil, but not that it was so calculating.

avflox
avflox

AstridJac and SteveStreza, I hope I never see one again! If a lover wants to spoil me, he can give me time. And tasty food. And books.

SteveStreza
SteveStreza

avflox AstridJac If time were giftable it'd be the most valuable commodity on the earth.

avflox
avflox

chiropractic, you can thank blogher for that specific format; we have a stylebook. I think it's important to give credit where it's due.

chiropractic
chiropractic

avflox Good to know, I'd like to see more doing same, going on my list of best practices.

graywolf
graywolf

ok chiropractic I'll let u off with warning since it's ur first offense tweeting links to paginated articles is felony offense #itshouldbe

chiropractic
chiropractic

graywolf Less concerned with the article (although I like single page view option) and more with photo credits.

graywolf
graywolf

. chiropractic point taken, just a pet peeve of mine. I have some really nice code to put flickr credit in a wp tinted frame if u need it

chiropractic
chiropractic

graywolf Got an example in action? DM if needed.

RexRaveR
RexRaveR

avflox good read. bout the diamonds.

avflox
avflox

RexRaveR, thanks. I hope it changes some minds.

canislatrans
canislatrans

avflox Fantastic article.

Conversation from Facebook

Polish Mama on the Prairie
Polish Mama on the Prairie

I always love her articles. And yes, I prefer estate jewelry myself. Personally, I hate the idea of owning "blood" jewelry. But my American husband doesn't quite share my feelings and thinks that the price at the local mass chain jewelry store is the jewelry's worth. Btw, you all do know that you can haggle on the price of a piece of jewelry right? The jewelry store workers get paid by commission. I have friends who work in the jewelry business. Conventionally, you can haggle 10% off the price, but a repeat customer with good haggling skills can maybe get away with 30% off the retail price.

Barbara Romio
Barbara Romio

Keep the damn diamond !

Allisen Waage
Allisen Waage

Buy used diamonds, its not like they wear out. :)

Christine Mack
Christine Mack

I must be the odd ball here. I wanted a ruby. I've never like diamonds. I always thought of them as a accent stone.

Facebook Page
Facebook Page

Yeah, you do not buy for the resale value...

Stephanie Saad Thompson
Stephanie Saad Thompson

This is very interesting. I have a jeweler client who buys back jewelry and one of the first caveats in their FAQ is "don't expect to get full value for anything you're selling." People are often shocked.

CoreyAnn Khan
CoreyAnn Khan

I think that the problem is that people go into buying diamonds with stars in their eyes and emotions in their hearts. Buying a diamond is akin to buying a car, it depreciates as soon as its "off the lot"!

I worked for years at the non-profit World Vision where I saw the horrors of blood diamonds (especially children). When I got engaged and married I went without a ring until I could find just the right one.

I bought a loose diamond directly from a Canadian mine (not through a De Beers clearinghouse) and it was certified for authenticity from the Canadian government even. The Canadian diamonds actually do hold value because at this point in time there is demand for conflict-free and they don't actually mine that enough to meet demand. Also Canadian mines do not at this time mine many large sizes (over a karat are rarer).

Also with the Canadian government certification they guarantee (some of the bullet points from my paperwork):

"a) That a diamond mined in Canada was done so under the most environmentally stringent mining practices.
b) The diamond has never left the soil of Canada from conception to final polish.
c) The diamond is cut & polished by skilled adult workers, all paid family-supporting wages and benefits, with all the advantages of first-world labour laws and practices.
d) A diamond which is free of conflict. Consumers deserve this choice. A diamond is a symbol of love, not war. A diamond that a man purchases his fiancee should not have been used to fund an entire army division with rifles.
e) A diamond which is free of synthetic treatments. Canadian diamonds are pure and untreated in any way. A recent study of Antwerp concluded that over 10% of diamonds have been color treated, synthesized, or fracture filled without disclosure. Rough Canadian diamonds are purchased directly from the source and not at oversees outlets, or window sales from other oversees "dealers". Canadian diamonds are certified & guaranteed."

Sadly the Canadian mines don't sell diamond melee so I ordered mine from Russia (and now even Australia is in the business) so as to prevent my ring from having any conflict attached to it. Rings need to be bought with the intention of keeping them forever (as you so greatly posted they have very little "resale" value) or melting them down and redesigning. Couples need to do their due diligence and homework to know what they are REALLY buying!

Asia Stacia
Asia Stacia

Love this story. Thank you for reporting it. My Geo instructor told me about diamonds... Great article.

Sarah Haddad
Sarah Haddad

I never knew. Fascinating story.

Kathlene Mullens
Kathlene Mullens

I want one of these: labs make great pretty-much-diamonds at lower prices. http://www.diamondnexus.com/endless-days.html

Elizabeth J White
Elizabeth J White

I have always preferred colored stones. They are more rare too.