The Fountain of Poop

This is for all you parents who have babies in the diaper stage.

 

When Son #2 was about 2 weeks old, he became a little constipated.  I was breastfeeding him at the time and decided to drink INCREDIBLY TALL glasses of all natural fruit smoothies to help him become regular again.  The plan seemed to be working. 

 

One sunny afternoon, I detected the distinct odor of a poopy diaper.  My youngest son had been fussy earlier but now seemed to have the serene demeanor of a Buddhist Monk.  I opened his diaper and was greeted with an abnormally large collection of doo doo.  I was amazed and a little proud of my 2 week old son.  (My son's collection of poo is larger than your son's poo.) 

 

I began to clean up Son #2 when catastrophe began.  Poo began to spew from his hiney like a park fountain.  I quickly put a clean diaper underneath him to catch the wanton stream.  The clean diaper filled up!  What was I to do?  I had never encountered a poopy diaper of this proportion.  Quickly, I removed the second diaper and placed a third one underneath him.  The stream turned into a geyser.  The geyser spewed forth untamed and I began to panic.  How many clean diapers did I have close by?  Could I make a run for the linen closet for more if needed?  Why won't the poo stop?  Five tremendously full diapers later, the geyser lessened, turned into a stream, slowed to a trickle, and then mercifully stopped.  By then, I had gone through 3/4 of a box of wipes and a few Walmart bags.

 

Moral of the Story:  Only drink small smoothies when nursing.

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