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Sparkle (5)
Over the last couple of years, I've laid awake at night asking myself uncomfortable questions about bullying and teen suicide. I don't have answers to most of the questions that I have, but I'm choosing to voice my questions, fears, and doubts because I'm not confident that our war on bullying is taking us down the right path. I'm worried about the unintended consequences of our public discourse and I'm worried about the implications that our decisions have on youth, particularly in this high-stakes arena. So I'm asking these four tough questions in the hopes that we can collectively step back and think critically about how we're addressing bullying as a public issue.
1. What if the stranger danger/sexual predator moral panic increased LGBT suicide?
When I was growing up online, talking to strangers allowed me to getting different perspectives on the world. As a queer teen, the internet allowed me to connect with people who helped me grapple with hard questions around sexuality. I very much thank the internet for playing a crucial role in helping me survive high school. In 2001/2, I visited the online forums that I grew up in, only to find that they were filled with hateful messages directed at LGBT youth by religious ideologues who, quite simply, told these kids they were going to hell. I learned that LGBT networks had gone underground.
As the sexual predator moral panic kicked in in 2005, youth started telling me about how all internet strangers were dangerous. They swallowed the message they'd been told, hook, line, and sinker. What really startled me were all of the LGBT youth I met who told me that they had no one to talk with... I'd ask them if they connected with other LGBT folks online and they'd look at me with horror before talking about how scary/sketchy/bad strangers were.
By many accounts, the early internet seems to be correlated with a decline in suicide among LGBT youth, perhaps because of its ability to connect LGBT to information and support structures. What if the stranger danger rhetoric undermines that? Who do LGBT youth turn to when they're feeling isolated? Is it possible that the culture of fear we've created has increased suicide rates? If so, who's responsible?
2. What if "It Gets Better" increases emotional devastation for some LGBT youth?
Most LGBT-identified teens who have committed suicide since the "It Gets Better" campaign have been involved in the campaign in some way. Jamey Rodemeyer notoriously made a video before he killed himself. Countless adults (and youth) have celebrated "It Gets Better" as a powerful message filled with hope. But "It Gets Better" isn't the same as "I can make it better." Abstraction and patience don't help when you're in pain Right Now.
When you're 14 and coming to terms with your sexuality, six months feels like a decade and four years feels like eternity. Along comes a message of hope and it's really exciting and you get pumped up, like the way you feel when a new song comes on the radio that you feel really speaks to you. You dive in, you create your story, you make your own video. And then what? The humdrums at school continue on and you continue to get teased, only worse this time because you publicly pronounced your story. You felt like you were part of a movement but no one reached out to you, no one helped you make it better. No community was made, no support group was developed. You're still alone. No one seems to care. You crash and burn.
Getting "high" on a movement can be devastating for youth if there's no support structure there when they fall. The Trevor Project did a great job of providing some of the needed support infrastructure, but communities themselves often aren't prepared to support youth. Social services are underfunded. Schools are strapped for cash and getting rid of guidance structures. Parents are stressed out. Community groups are not always tolerant of questioning youth. Is it possible that hopeful messages like "It Gets Better" result in more devastating crashes, particularly for youth in not-so-supportive communities? Does the positive narrative outweigh the possible existential break that can come with being disappointed that things don't get better?
3. What if the media spotlight around bullying causes harm to youth?
In January 2010, a Massachusetts-based girl named Phoebe Prince killed herself. The highly publicized story suggested that she was an innocent victim who was
