Freaks, Geeks and Douche Bags - Profile 009

The names have been changed to protect the innocent

Profile 09.

Nickname: Undercover Douche bag

Distinguishing feature: Spoke sweetly and poetically


Met Undercover online 3 weeks before I left for home. We texted everyday then one week prior to my last day he started calling me at night and we would be up until 2:00 or 3:00 am chatting and by chatting I mean me talking and rambling like a giddy teen while he listened and laughed. We had similar interest and goals both looking for love and wanted families. We planned our first date on Friday the 13th LOL yeah…. He is going to meet my friends and I at a goth club I go to often.


The anticipation kills me Undercover and I text each other a daily count down as I get closer to my departure day. Once in LA we text nightly until the day of our first meeting, I’m nervous all day. My friend picks me up and gives me the once over for the date and I share my concerns. We arrive at the club and a line is already forming that’s when I finally see him he is perfect. Black suite red tie Clark Kent glasses I melted. I put the hood up to my jacket and walk over with my head down so he cant see thats its me. I stop next to him and say im happy he didn’t get lost and with butterflies in my stomach I take off my hood and smile at him. I instantly felt beautiful the second I saw the WOW look on his face and the giant grin. I give him a hug and turn my face to he cant see me blush. We get in line I introduce him to my friends and we go inside. I gave him a tour of the place as my friends scatter to different rooms to dance. I went to the noise room with Undercover and a few friends and he sat and watched as we started dancing. I couldn’t “concentrate” since I had an audience. So I stopped and grabbed his hand and left the room for a drink but we ended up spending the whole night talking on the sofa talking or I should say I ramble nervously while he stares and listens.


At some point I asked why he is staring at me and he tells me he never saw anyone so beautiful….. cheesy I know but I just ate it up. After the club we grabed food and this time im staring at him lol I blush when im caught. The next day we hang out again this time a drive in movie. He picks me up this time no gothy girl just normal me. We chat in the car he asked about my online profile name “Lenore” I said its from Poe’s The Raven he has never heard it I’m shocked. So I connect my Droid to his radio and play it for him while I lip sync every word. I blush when I notice he keeps looking at me “singing” alone with the poem. LOL We arrive early this gives us time to sit and talk. He laughs that although I’m in jeans in still wearing 4-inch heels. Finally my friends show up and we all drive in together. We get out of the car and he meets two more if my friends then we get into our cars to watch the movie. Its cute we cuddle up and the entire time he is holding my hand. I feel so safe and warm near him. After the movie we want to hang more so we go to the beach for a walk. He makes fun of my heels so I take them off so he can see how short I actually am. Then go for a walk on the pier watching the old guys fish. We sit on a bench and look at the ocean and stars for a while. He eventually gets cold so we go back to the car while I tease him and he takes me home. He parks the car and we talk for a bit and I really want to kiss him but not sure if I should. Finally I lean in to hug him good night and he gives me a kiss.


I saw stars lol wow so I kissed him more and next thing I know it we are making out in his car two house’s down from my mom’s. I felt like a teenager and it was great. After maybe 10 – 20 min I pull back and say that if I didn’t go we would need a room soon we laughed and I ran off to my mothers house as he watched me go in. For the next few days he consumes my thoughts we text constantly. Then Wednesday I send him an email saying I have a surprise for him and he needs to meet me that night. I get all-cutied up in a summer dress hair in a pony tail and make up. He arrives and I give him directions where to go. Once there he gives me a big kiss and we go inside the surprise is a country music showcase. I can’t stand country music but he likes it and the only reason I wanted to go was to see my friends perform. I may not like country but I LOVE his music. Anyway Undercover is so shocked and pleased he is speechless. We watch and enjoy the show while cuddles up on the sofa after the show he takes me home. This time parked a bit further from my moms we sit and talk. I told him never underestimate me I will keep you on your toes. He leans in for a kiss and the teenage make out starts again. This time however I’m in a dress and well lets just say hands traveled. Before I know it the straps to my dress are down enough so he can get to what he wants. Not to mention of course his other hand finds something else to do…… J Im sure you can imagine. Its HOT to say the least the excitement of falling for such a great guy and the desire to be with him but cant. We were in his car for maybe and 45 min to an hour any longer and we would have been in the back seat or arrested.


So after a great night im confused when I don’t hear from him Thursday or Friday then cancels plans for Saturday. I get random emails and text messages here and there but nothing like before I try and talk to him about it but he said its financial problems. Hmm but you have money to go out with friends…… Where have I seen this pattern before? By Thursday he has canceled plans again for Saturday, Now im upset so I call him. That’s when I find out the truth. He is seeing another girl (cue shattering glass) I knew it ……it’s the same pattern as my ex husband I go for a walk while on the phone with him. Crying in public yelling on the phone. Im angry I’m hurt I feel ……….. Dead inside yep just like the ex husband. He keeps telling me he is sorry and didn’t want to lead me on or hurt me …. TO LATE FOR THAT ASSHOLE DON’T YOU THINK IGNOREING ME FOR A WEEK HURT ME!!! OR CANCELING PLANS!!!!


The real Kicker is that he cares for me and her and doesn’t want to stop seeing either of us…… ar you fucking kidding me???


By the end of the conversation its 11:30pm im in the park crying on the phone when a cop walks up to see if im ok. I sort of smile and said the guy im seeing just told me is has been seeing someone else. The cop sits with me for a bit then offers to drive me home I said that its ok I want to walk. Midnight im at my moms home in bed so very sad when Undercover calls. He wants to make sure I made it home ok and to see if I was alright. Lol what a joke I tell him no im not okay Im hurt im so very sad I can comprehend what just happened. The next morning mom and dad let me sleep and stay home Ive made myself sick im so upset. I spent the day crying I cant justify the tears I just know I hurt and I’ve haven’t hurt this much since my ex asked for the separation. I spend the day on my pinterest posting items of pain and heart break.


Alas I haven’t seen him since our last date. He still consumes my thoughts everyday though I try and push myself forward and move on. It’s hard It really is I keep thinking that at least Clark Kent never cheated on his Lois lane.


Its been a couple weeks and Im about to close my dating profile when I hear from this next guy.