Freaks, Geeks and Douche Bags - Profile 11

The names have been changed to protect the innocent


Nickname: Gomez Adams

Distinguishing feature: Mutual Friend to my EX HUSBAND (Yeah I know)


OK Its had been some time since I stopped writing in this blog. Yet I haven’t stopped dating Undercover Douche bag really affected me more then I can explain. I woke up today deciding I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of killing the blog.  The blog of which he has found and read.. SO you think his Serial dating habits would change of course not he is a complete Douche after all.


I digress; my next encounter came as a shock to both the guilty party and myself.


One night I'm out with my best male friend “Gomez Adams” it routine for us at this point to meet up and complain about the dating scene we are both in while drinking Bourbon at some local dive bar. Were talking and I’m going off on a rant about the “Undercover Douche Bag” and the other various assholes I’ve gone out with. “I just don’t understand, I’m smart, funny, granted dark humor, Creative, and kinky as hell!! Why cant I find a man who has a bigger pair of balls then I do.” Gomez while laughing leans over and said to me “well short of showing you how large my balls are, can I kiss you?” So... I kissed him. We were kissing for a while when he said we should go somewhere I agreed and we left for his place. We were both laughing and slightly embarrassed but just over all silliness. We make it to his place and didn’t waste anytime stripping the clothing off of each other. We were up all night talking, giggling, and having sex off and on. I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun or smiled so much. The next few days where awesome we hang out spend lots of time together talk for hours on the phone. Phone OMG phone sex for the first time lol that was crazy fun. Eventually we start taking Tango lessons together and I meet some of his other friends. This is where things start to get odd…. (Please no not him) Through this woman “rose” I hear that “Gomez” has a crush on his this woman he met at a tango event. I try my best to brush this after all we are together (or so I think) and “Gomez” knows how sensitive I am and would never do anything to hurt me… Famous last words, right? Ok after a couple weeks Gomez takes a trip up north for work I don’t really hear from him but its works related so I don’t pester him I give him his space. We make dinner plans when he gets home and he looks very awkward and uncomfortable knowing him as well as I do I try and comfort him thinking his ex girlfriend has called and he is shaken up by it. He assures me its ok but we end the night early. From this point on he gets distant, nearly hard to reach I’m familiar by now what this means. My suspicions are confirmed when after a night out I ask him to let me know he has made it home safely. I wake up the next day with a text message saying “hey sweetie I had a great time tonight hope to see you soon well goodnight “Alana”!!!

8am I see this so I call and wake his ass up did you just text me the wrong girls name???? It takes him a sec or two to figure out what he’s done. Then the panic sets in, the realization that I now know there is another woman (at least Undercover never called me by another girls name) he is quiet… I ask him “Who is Alana??” …… Nothing. No response… So I hang up. I shortly after quit taking tango.


About 2 months later I hear back from Gomez we meet for coffee. Yes since I cant injure him in public smart man…. He apologizes tells me he didn’t mean for it to happen blah blah blah I swear these jerks need to get a better book of excuses.


FYI Guys I’ve heard it all before.



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