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Commercials I Hate: Free Credit Report Shut UP!

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It's ying and yang time, people! Since my last post was all about how much I love commercials, this one will be about commercials I hate. Well, it's really one commercial in particular, but because it's also an ENTIRE ANNOYING SERIES, it's commercialS. Plural.

You all are pretty familiar with the Free Credit Report dot com commercials, right? Even if you fast-forward your way through them, I just know you've had the "catchy" songs stuck in your head at one point or another. It's sort of one of those things that catches you unawares and before you can grab the TiVo remote to zip through, you've had the entire jingle downloaded into your receptive brain.

It's such an annoying series of commercials that every time a new spot pops up, my husband yells, "Oh, would you JUST DIE?!" Because in the intervening time with no evidence of a new installment, we had hopes that the series had, in fact, died. But no. A new one appears. Roller coaster, RenFaire, crappy car...they just keep coming.

The ditties -- brand new for each installment -- are annoying, yes. Most catchy tunes are, and, as evidenced on Twitter when someone "earworms" someone else, no one likes having a song stuck in their head. It's even more egregious when you catch yourself singing a commercial. You suddenly feel dirty, because it means that the big bad advertising world has won. Clearly. That said, the songs are not even close to the worst part of the Free Credit Report campaign.

The worst part of the campaign is what ended up being the second spot in the series. The spot that made Wing Chun write a blog post at Television Without Pity called "Is There a Freejagoffreport.com?" and ask: "Okay -- am I high, or is the dude in this commercial saying that if he had known his wife had bad credit, he would not have married her?! I realize he isn't real, but still, this is the message the company chooses to sell its service -- you should screen out the potential life partners who might hamper you financially?"

Quickly: the spot shows Our Hero living in his parents basement, playing with his band, and bitching about how his new wife's credit landed them in their unenviable situation. Meanwhile, said wife is engaged in doing their laundry.

Maybe I'm holding a grudge, but it's a legitimate grudge. I mean, why on earth would the company put out such an offensive and alienating commercial? Had the company pulled that spot, I might have gotten over my hate. Maybe. However, though that particular spot seemed to stop airing for awhile, it came back. Thus, my hate was allowed to live on.

And what do I do to relieve my hate in this, Our Internet Age? Type "I hate the free credit report dot com guy" in my Google bar to find other like-minded individuals. The results were most gratifying.

In a post titled "I Hate You Singing Pirate Credit Report Guy," Freakgirl comments on the spot in question saying, "...it’s painfully obvious he hates her. Also, he makes her do chores while he plays guitar with his stupid friends" and concludes, "You're an asshole, Credit Report Guy."

Again, I don't think this is the sort of reaction the company was looking for, but on the other hand, it has people talking, and now I sort of hate myself for bringing even more attention to them.

Meanwhile, a fairly hysterical reaction to the spots is the post rockinjoe wrote investigating the nefarious and murderous deeds involving Free Credit Report dot com guys. For rockinjo, each new spot brings fresh evidence. Here are some of the best gems in his analysis:

1. "Something worries me about these guys. They may have been involved with a murder."

2. "One may notice that from this commercial forward that the wife has disappeared. No mention is made of her from the last commercial on. Has anyone called the police? I bet I know who played a part in the woman's disappearance. It's the husband, I bet the body is in a Hefty bag in the small, cramped basement. After all, there's no room in the trunk of the sub compact."

3. "Well, well, well. What do we have here? Our band is on the run from the law and now they're hiding out at the renaissance faire. Who's going to find them there? No one,

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rose.diaz23 5 pts

I always get the song in my head even if I just see a glimpse of the commercial while I am trying to fast-forward through them. Finally Dish came out with a new feature on their Hopper receiver and I can enable Auto Hop which skips right over the commercials. It only works on the PrimeTime Anytime shows and the day after they air, which is fine with me because I never watch my shows live so I can skip over the commercials. All I have to do now is hit the enable once right before the show and I am set. I don’t even have to see the commercials if I don’t want to. Otherwise I can rewind to check them out. A co-worker at Dish and me checked this out the other day and I absolutely love it! No more Free Credit Report commercials for me!

Stephanie V.W. Lucianovic 9 pts

See, I could probably handle the earworm, annoying as it is, if it weren't for that ONE commercial that made the whole series hateable and disgusting. It tarnishes every successive spot for me.

And, yeah, the fact that they are totally LYING about the report being free is also pretty bad.

Julie Ross Godar 48 pts

If he didn't sing those INSANE JINGLES I would be much more forgiving. But AARRRGH, as soon as I saw this post title again, my brain clicked on "F to the R to the E to the E to the C to the R to the E,D,I,T, Re to the Port to the Dot to the Com to the FreeCreditReport.com" song. And I can't click it off. Shoot me now!

KristySF 5 pts

I have no earthly defense for my feelings for this guy.  Especially since I have to willfully ignore the asshole he is in the commercial with his "wife," as you've illustrated above, and I don't even think he's hot.

And yet I love these commercials. Something about Mr. Basement-dwelling, used car-driving, pirate hat-wearing, ren faire-singing, roller coaster-riding, lame cellphone-have credit report guy speaks to me.

There. I have confessed.

---
Kristy blogs funny stuff at
She Just Walks Around With It ( http://shewalks.blogspot.com )

Julie Ross Godar 48 pts

Just the first frame of any of those commercials kickstarts the "F to the R to the E to the E" jingle.  It sticks in my head and sandpapers away at my brain. I might sacrifice my good credit to get it out. Seriously.

It really is sad, after all that jinglecrafting and gratuitous misogyny and positing of high credit rating as Lifestyle Fast Pass, that the free report isn't even free.

injaynesworld 6 pts

Makes me want to throw a brick right through the television screen.  Same exact feeling I get when I see Palin on TV.   I seem to just loathe phoniness in all its incarnations.   Fortunately, I don't keep loose bricks sitting around. 

Megan Smith 6 pts

I totally hate this commercial.  It's everywhere!  There is no escape so my mute button has become my friend.  I even play a game with myself to see how quickly I can mute it before hearing one word of that God-awful song.

The only commercial I hate even more is for some Learning Center--can't remember which one--it goes something like this:

Parent:  Another bad report card!?  We grounded you, got tutors!

Stuffy Nosed Kid:  Do you think I wanted to fail?

Parent:  I should have done this a long time ago.  (Calls the Learning Center)

The alternate commercial goes like this:

Parent:  Another bad report card!?

Snotty Girl:  Face it!  I'm not getting into college!!

Parent:  I should have done this a long time ago.  (Calls the Learning Center)

Yuk!

Megan
BlogHer Contributing Editor, TV/Online Video ( http://www.blogher.com/blog/megan-smith )

My Personal Entertainment Blog: Megan's Minute ( http://www.megansminute.com/ )

My Review Blog:  Meg's Rad Reviews ( http://www.megsradreviews.com )

Twitter:@MeganSmith ( http://twitter.com/MeganSmith/ )

JennaHatfield 350 pts

The sad thing is if you google "FreeCreditReport.com scam" you'll find that far too many people are blinded by the lights and whistles of the commercial to realize what they're signing up for. They simply remember the commercial, as it's drilled into our heads repeatedly, and they use that site and end up losing money over it. Ever since I learned that, I've hated the annoying commercials even more.

@FireMom ( http://twitter.com ) from Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com )