Friends in Need: Interventions for Domestic Violence

Last month, I received the following letter from an old friend, Lloyd Barnhart.  "A topic I would like you to cover/explore is that curious phenomena which permits otherwise independent women to be dominated…even abused…by males with whom they share some sort or relationship. Why is it that a seemingly strong, intelligent woman would allow herself to be hurt…her life to be altered in a negative way by some guy with whom she has some sort of relationship....more

The Wooden Spoon

At the weekend, I attended my first ever quiz night.  My team won of course and so we each took home a box of chocolates (which I had for breakfast the next day).  But I also went home with a head full of thoughts.  You see, on the tables were numbered wooden spoons. Innocent enough, yes.  But they got me thinking. In my childhood, The Wooden Spoon was used to inflict pain.  My dad could become very creative in his choice of weaponry when he was in a drug-induced, violent rage....more

How Far Would You Go to Protect Your Child? Would You Kill Someone?

I try to avoid the news. Okay, not all the news -- just the news that talks about cannibals eating someone’s face off or something along those lines. I mean, dear Lord, is it really necessary to run a headline on that story and then put a warning about graphic photos? Does the world really need to see graphic photos of a man whose face was eaten off by a cannibal? I’m going to go out on a limb and say…no. I did, however, break my no-sensational-story rule when I saw the headline, “Texas dad beats 4-year-old daughter's alleged attacker to death” in the Los Angeles Times....more
I just read the whole story and comments as well. While I respect everyone's opinion, it is a ...more


   So, you find yourself with a troubled teen. What can you do? First, you must not feel guilty, because you are not the only influence in your teen's life. Oh, if only it were that simple.* IS THIS A TROUBLED TEEN OR NORMAL ADOLESCENT BEHAVIOR? SIGNS OF A TROUBLED TEEN:...more

The Abusive Relationship You Didn't Know You Were In

Does someone in your life:Withhold information, then shame you for not knowingConstantly change relationship expectations such that meeting them becomes impossibleCompliment you in person, but speak poorly about you to othersRemind you of your ultimate dependence upon them, especially when power/truth swings in your favorBelittle your accomplishments, then take credit...more

Why I Will Not Remain Silent

“Never, never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way.” ―    Martin Luther King Jr. Today a friend remarked that he didn't understand how I could continue writing about my story without going crazy.  How could I keep reliving my abuse?So I question, "Why AM I still writing?  Should I stop?"...more
I for one am glad you continue blogging about this subject. People do need to know it ...more

A Fragile Grace and the Power of Memory

Poet Diane Marquart Moore in her latest stunning book writes of her family’s wild trip in an old blue coupe in the 1940s, chasing after her father’s dream of living in California (“Diddy Wah Diddy” to him)—from southern Louisiana across the wide country of desert and plain.In the title poem Post Cards from Diddy Wah Diddy she writes:Cards telling stories of being there,yet being here, casting shadows in my life....more
 @Isabel_Anders Very inspiring. Indeed!more

His Name Was John

*Sorry about any spelling errors. I didn't want to read back what I've written.Not long after I turned 18 I was out on my own and not even close to being financially prepared despite the 2 jobs I was working at the time. I was working whatever temp jobs I could get and on one of them I met this guy. I wasn't going to give his real name but fuck it. His name was John and he was a writer, most of what he wrote was poetry....more

Until death do us part: I wish my story were over

Please view my complete blog at I don’t understand this, though; writings from victims of sociopaths all say the same thing: they cannot and will not move on. They could remarry, have other children, move to another country and still…..they remain fanatical about a relationship long gone. They behave and talk in a way that appears the relationship continues....more