My previous blogs were related to finding my purpose in life, and only hinted at a family crisis. In fact, the reason I stopped writing my blog was because my blog entitled "Consciously thinking about being a poster child for double standards" enraged my "Dear" hubby so much, that I wasn't "allowed" to blog anymore. The family crisis climaxed at the end of February and, without going into details, the authorities were involved, and unfortunately, continue to be involved. My "Dear Hubby" wasn't so "Dear", even though I lead you to believe otherwise.
I've never written a blog. I'm not doing this for any kind of recognition. I need to get out all the entangled, emotionally enthralled thoughts, screams, tear filled regrets and un-ending doubts from my mind. I will try to give somewhat of a back ground of me. Try..I am blessed. Right now, at this moment..I am blessed. I have 3 amazing children, well they are teenagers. Each one is individualy extraordinary. My daughter is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. My oldest son is awesome with the guitar. My youngest son is impressively intellegent....more
I have to admit that this is a huge deal for me to speak up on uncomfortable topics. You feel weird reading it. I feel weird writing it. I don’t mind speaking on things that don’t pertain to me, but when the very things I am talking about come from the deepest, darkest parts of my heart…I freeze. It’s as if I’m having that dream where you’re surrounded by people and they’re all staring at you. Some are pointing and snickering. Suddenly you realize you’re naked. Then - BAM! - You wake up. If you’re like me, you breathe a sigh of relief just to know it was only a dream....more
It's one of those horrible stereotypes that gets repeated in movies and on television: the desperate, probably crazy, control-freak woman who tries to trap a man by deliberately "forgetting" to take her birth control pills or use whatever type of birth of control she uses or claims to be using. Well, guess what? In real life, that crazy control-freak woman might be a man.
I have always wanted to dig deep within to understand why I wanted to be an adoptive mother rather than a biological one. It was an instinct so overpowering that at the time I never thought to wonder why. It is an instinct that had been with me since I was in my early teens. I never could think of myself as a biological mother. I have a vague idea that maybe my early years took away any attachment to and dependence on the idea of sanctity and safety in the ties of a genetically linked family....more
Does serious therapy really work? I don’t mean of the kind where one needs to be working through present issues, - like I need to see a therapist to spew out my frustration with my daughter’s behaviour, she is being treated for OCD (obsessive, compulsive disorder) with an anti-depressant and has gone hypo-manic. I mean for dealing with some terrible things that may have happened in the past....more
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