Let’s be frank. When attachment challenge, traumatized children are about to blow up, out, back, it is hard to think up ways of getting closer, because you just want to get away. It’s okay. No shame bombs here. I get it. I am just that way sometimes. When I am upset, I cannot think of a thing to do to be close.Here are ten ways to promote attachment even when you don’t feel like it:...more
"We heard you were going to send her back." The school social worker looked at me over her glasses, raising an eyebrow in disapproval. Where had she heard that? Those words had never been spoken, at least not by me. Was she clairvoyant?...more
“This emptiness in my life is so hard to deal with but I pray every day and I know God has the perfect baby and the perfect birthmother planned for us. I must be patient and someday this sadness will be forgotten.” I hear statements like this over and over again in the world of adoption. Hopeful couples struggling with their desire to have a child while praying desperately for the pregnant woman who will choose them to raise her baby....more
November is National Adoption Awareness Month. Last week and still into this week, the Internet saw an influx of posts by waiting families, adoptive parents, birth parents, adoptees, social workers and agencies talking about their feelings and events regarding the "celebration." While originating as a week to bring awareness to children in foster care in the United States, it was promoted to a month in 1995.
The most frequently expressed reason adoptive parents give me for NOT talking adoption with their kids (and beating hands-down the "I don't know what to say" reason!) -- I don't want to plant ideas in her head.
My usual answer is two-fold -- I bet the idea is already there, and why not?
The idea is already there