Forget Me Not, Or At Least Not At This Particular Moment

There are people in life who seem to revel in tragedy.  They bask in it, boast about it, appropriate a bit of someone else’s if they don’t have enough of their own to occupy them.  Then there are those who defy tragedy...more

The Things They Don't Tell You About Alzheimer's

A phone conversation with my mother:Me:       Mom. Hi. It’s me.Mom:   Oh, hi. Janet’s here with the dog. (Janet being my sister, the dog being a German Shepherd puppy, just the thing to add that badly needed chaos to an otherwise peaceful elderly day.)Me:       Why did she –Mom:   [to Dad] No, Eddie! Don’t give him that.[to me] Daddy’s trying to kill the dog with chocolate....more

The Beauty of Alzheimer's

“Beautiful place,” said my father, looking around admiringly.  “Nice very nice.  Beautiful place.”“It sure is,” agreed the attendant behind the wheelchair.  Quite charitably, I might add, because this particular hallway of the local VA hospital was not what I or anyone else could realistically call “beautiful.”  ...more

If she only knew...

Sometimes it's better not to know. For instance, when your husband thinks the dress you wore to work that day makes your hips and hind end look larger than life, you'd rather he tell you after work, not on a lunchtime date when you have an entire half day yet to work while wearing it. But that was last month.Two months ago, it was my mother who was getting too big for her britches. I know that because my sister sent me this text:...more
Arnebya Thanks for understanding and finding the humor through the sadness. I am so thankful I ...more

So, You Live With Your Mom

That’s hot, nothing sexier than a man who is taking care of his elderly parents. It is along the same lines as a man holding hands with his young daughter, but only if she has braided pigtails. Nothing is cuter than braided pigtails.So, back to your mom. Do you pay rent? Ok look, if you pay rent, you’re living in the basement and she’s taking care of you, buddy. How’s World of Warcraft treating ya?If you own the house and invited your aging mother to live with you, you are awesome.Haaaaaay.

We All Become Orphans at Some Point

I’ve been thinking of my grandfather lately, which is odd because he passed away two decades ago and I haven’t thought much about him since. The ugly truth is that his death didn’t really affect me, and it wasn’t all that surprising.Though my grandfather was only 69 at the time, he had already suffered one heart attack and had developed emphysema caused by years of smoking a pipe. A number of his siblings had already died of heart disease....more
LanaL  I'm sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. It's hard to imagine a world without parents ...more

Falling Off the Cliff: Moving My Mother Into Assisted Living

Deep down, we knew it would happen, but we didn't really have any other choice. It was no longer safe for my mother to continue to live alone in her senior-living apartment.  She needed more care, more activities, more everything. My sister and I were exhausted and we'd reached that tipping point, where if you don't take action, life could spiral out of control very quickly....more
I'm so sorry it must have been such a tough call for both you and your sister. But it is an ...more

Hurricane Jane

The first time she came to live with me she was heartbroken. She showed up at my doorstep on a Saturday afternoon after a long week and a long ride, with everything she owned in this world stuffed in a plastic grocery bag. Just days earlier, Hurricane Katrina had made its way pretty much right up her street in Waveland, Mississippi. When it left, it washed out to sea the entire town, including my in-laws' house and virtually everything they owned. ...more

We've got the makings for a sit com...

  I certainly never planned my life to be like this, and if you had asked me 5 years ago, or even 1 year ago if I thought that I would be raising my son by myself, with the help of my mom and dad who live in the guest house in my back yard I would have howled with laughter.  But, here we are. I lived in Arizona with my boyfriend when I had my son.  My boyfriend suffered from Multiple Sclerosis and the heat was really hard on him, and he loved mountains.  I was originally from Oregon and after I had the baby it made sense to come back home.   It ...more