The Little Brown-Skinned Girl in My Marriage

In my mind I’ve named her “Shey.” ...more

Divorce: Forsaking Fear

It is very hard not to write volumes during this time. Not that I can’t write at all, of course I can journal or write things I keep to myself. But I am a social creature – I crave interaction – and when I spend time pouring out my thoughts its more torture not to have them be heard and at the very least, acknowledged. Times are tricky though and its hard to tell often which is worse – keeping silent or speaking up....more

Have kids? Getting a divorce? Listen up!

 Photo Credit: Josh FassbindI am a child of divorce.My parents split up when I was 10 years old and I never saw it coming.We left for a drive with our mother, our clothes and belongings unknowingly stowed in the trunk....more
@firewifeelly Thank you! I will fix it when I get home, mobile version won't let me. Appreciate ...more

I miss my Husband (soon to be Ex Husband)

Today I miss my husband.  I just wish he were here and things were different.  He has signed our divorce papers and once I get them back, I'll sign them too.  Our 7 year anniversary will be on Monday the 30th.  I keep thinking and rehashing- is there any way this could be saved?  I don't think there is.  I don't think anything will ever change in fact the behaviors that led to this divorce have increased now that we are seperated.  He's so much worse in debt than when he left.  The gambling is still happening and taking what he does have.  So if ...more
heajon,     I hope that you are getting better. I am going through the same thing and I must ...more

A State of Inertia

I blinked.  The room was dark despite the opened curtains.  I must have slept far longer than I thought....more

My Mother's Daughter

I was curled up fetus-like on the bed.  Hands in fists that held on to the blanket like a lifeline.  The tears had stopped flowing for some time, exhausted for the night.  I kept my eyes shut although every detail of the room was already etched in my memory.  Trinkets and remnants of a life lived together.  Their presence loomed all around me, a reminder of what was lost.  Someone opened the door, footsteps quick and light on the hardwood floor.&n...more

The ripple effect

So it is finally time. My soon to be ex son in law has had papers served to my Daughter and the mediation and court dates looms in not to distant future. It has been a truly rough 9 months since they separated. Months filled with pain and heartache for a number of people. I often wonder if people realize the effects that a separation, and later a divorce have on a family. Outside of the core family. The ripples that splash through layers and layers, each one pushing further and further out causing new ripples on their own. We had a relationship with the SIL, or so I thought....more

I’m tired. MP’s arrived.

Let me tell you how private I am today ever since -Our- lives went down hill in beautiful Hawaii in 2007. *The privacy issue ends today. Today I’m speaking out* That’s when I left Hawaii to see my family in PA and Puerto Rico, for the first time in 3 1/2 years. Even the way that I managed to get the money to leave Hawaii….was very…very….bad....more

Safely to the airport

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I left him but the grief I feel is all mine

I’m outside huddled under the eave on Mother’s back porch because it is raining and snowing and I need a cigarette. A crutch. I struggled so hard to stop smoking so many times but today I need a cigarette. Oh, I have my glass of wine too. Another crutch. I am healing but the pain is so intense that it grips me and I am unable to concentrate or focus so I rely on the great friend who always calms me and helps me to relax the shoulders that are all too often up around my ears these days....more