How My Husband's Alcoholism Broke Our Marriage

I've been pretty quiet about the whole divorce situation on here, and part of it is because there is so much in my head that it's hard to put it down onto paper. And it's still not easy to talk about any of it. I still get choked up when I try.I can't speak as to his experience with alcoholism. All I can do is speak about mine.It starts with the things that got broken....more
mshapshay I'm involved in a few groups that focus on families and support. Not Al Anon, but ...more

How Did You Know?

One of the most asked questions after coming out as an alcoholic was, “how did know you were an alcoholic,” and specifically, what separates an alcoholic from being a heavy drinker?  I found a helpful article from Psychology Today that explains the differences.  I reviewed the list and can identify with fifteen out of the twenty....more

Two Years : Experience, Strength, Hope

You are a beautiful, shining example of recovery, Megan. Thank you for standing up and helping ...more

Birthed in a Crucible of Despair

A true story After a grueling nursing shift, Caroline sat alone, slumped, at the kitchen table. Head bowed down, resting on her arms with a glass of cold beer beside her. Just like the other night and the night before that..  Alone  A traumatic childhood, A husband dead after eight years of wedded torment, Caroline was Alone. Shattered....more

Lunch with Bobby

I knew this man many years ago; however, the sound of his voice brought me right back to the 80’s.  I remember him walking around the high school campus and I always thought, “What a nice guy.”Flash-forward 28 years and he’s still the nice guy.  We weren’t close throughout the years, but you just know nice when you see it.  I saw it probably three-ish years ago (once again) when he came to visit, and yes, nothing has changed – he’s still a nice guy....more

A bad storm coming

There is a bad storm coming. It has been rumbling off in the distance for a long time now. I have always loved a good storm. That is Mother Nature’s storms. It is true though that Mother Nature does not discriminate.  She takes damaged and healthy out in her path. Although in time, there is always new growth after the storm. The clean smell in the air is always a welcome result.  Everything is now refreshed and nourished....more

An Open Letter to the Addicts in my Life

When one of my babies is sick and feeling a general sort of pain, one that makes them cry and ache all over and there's nothing I can do about it--the only thing I can think of to say is, "I know baby. I know."It's the same thing I want to say to you. I am not an addict, but sometimes when I think of how easily I could have been, I shudder. I know the only reason I am not is... well... before the Grace of God, go I....more

A new finding in alcohol rebah help

A new study has discovered that although recovering alcoholics can produce the same number of finger taps per minute as non-alcoholics, they use a different part of the brain to do it. It's a compensation for an impairment of the part of the brain that controls motor function.There appears to be a disruption in the pathway between the frontal lobe and the cerebellum in alcoholics. Although the causal relationship could also be the other way around: people with this disruption are predisposed to alcoholism....more

What won’t be happening this year on Mother’s Day….My Childrens Day

I remember as a very young adult, surfacing from my teen years… Finding myself married… and not having a mother figure in my life struggling with the very thought of mother’s day… It depressed me… It angered me (not that everything didn’t anger me at this point)… I remember flashbacks to the cultish church (sometimes which I had been dragged to by my hair) and the Mothers day program and cheesy songs put on by the primary… and the little flowers given to all the mothers in attendance… I remember all the girls in their Easter dresses with fancy hats (It was tradition to wear them again for t...more

FYI- Angel girl did come see me! She is amazing... We exchanged gifts.. I had for her dried ...more

Finding a Dogma-Free Balance as an Adult Child of Alcoholics

Summary: I'm an adult child of alcoholics, and I see how this affects my life as an adult wanting to have children.  But, it seems the standard "treatment" for this is 12 step, which is a litlte tricky for me, as I am an atheist.  What's someone like me supposed to do to get past something that happened a long time ago?...more