Antidepressants - day 2

I was told I needed to eat before taking my new fancy "feel better" pills, buti hadn't anticipated feeling violently ill every time the time release capsule let out the next round of medicine. In 5 1/2 intervals, I found myself hovering over the toilet trying to puke. I have been struggling to eat enough due to everything I ingest blowing me up like a balloon and causing bouts of painful non stop burping. I've discovered that both gluten and anything with rice or rice flour/starch causes this, but it's hard to nurture the altered diet with limited food stamps and no income....more
After being up for a bit, I realize my anxiety is hardcore, and my hands won't stop shaking. ...more

Antidepressants - day 1

So, I've been struggling with one major life altering issue after another since July, and finally hit my breaking point after being fired from a job that would have changed mine and my daughter's life financially. I've found it difficult to hold myself together, and be strong enough to help her cope with the changes that have also severely effected her, and finally buckled, and agreed to go on antidepressants for a while (something I've always been afraid to do, and never really needed before)....more
So far, even though I took it with food as recommended, I feel nauseas and incredibly ...more

Pills vs. Pregnancy: Which Would You Choose?

Hopefully the title caught your attention. No, I'm not referring to a drug addiction. I'm referring to taking anti-anxiety medication and/or antidepressants while pregnant. I recently posed a question about antidepressants and pregnancy on Facebook, and the overwhelming response was in favor of no medication for a healthy pregnancy. ...more
Thank you, Karen!  So very true that we just don't know all of the effects these drugs may have, ...more

Coming Out of the Dark

Most who read my blog know that I have been walking through a very long and hard season for about 16 months now. It started with my oldest daughter unexpectedly walking out on our family at the beginning of last year, and from there one crisis after another hit us, literally every 2-3 months. It seemed as though we'd just start to get up from the last blow when we'd be hit again. Each crisis involved our daughter and consequences of poor choices that she had made....more

jumping on superfoods, and my latest obsession

I have always, like most people probably, been intrigued by the concept of a superfood.An elixir. Drink of life that (preferably) wasn’t virgin’s blood. Something that gave me energy and increased cup size while boosting my metabolism and slimming my waist.I ask for so little, right?Let’s see, what has it been in the past? All these things that have promised me everything my heart desires?...more

The Problem with Handing Out Happy Pills

There are a few things in life that really get me going.  I guess you would call them my pet peeves.  Today I was reminded of one of them as I spent some time on Twitter connecting with my friends.One of my friends lost her husband not too long ago.  It was a devastating loss for her.  My heart and support went out to her....more
This post offends me. Doctors just do not hand meds out like candy. I am on 60mg of citalopram ...more

Depression Knows No Race or Religion

May marked my one-year anniversary on vitamin L, and it's finally time to talk about it. I am Asian American and Christian, struggling with anxiety and clinical depression, and I take vitamin L - or Lexapro to be exact - to treat it. It's been one year since I decided enough was enough. I was tired of being tired. Tired of being sad. Tired of always feeling on edge about almost anything. ...more
I really agree that depression is not something to be swallowed as inevitable suffering. I have ...more

I’m Not A Bad Mom Because I Take Medication

OK, its confession time. I take antidepressants. I took them when I was pregnant with Ronin. I took them when I pumped breastmilk for him for 13 months. I took them when I was pregnant with Ellie. And I’m still taking them while I continue to breastfeed her at 14+ months. I believe this DOES NOT make me a bad mom....more
The judgement we cast upon ourselves is the harshest anyone else could possibly send our way ...more

Doing Things For Ourselves Cause Ripples

I felt that every day was exactly the same as the last. I woke up to the exact same tasks every day, and it was monotonous. I was so bored with everything and nothing seemed to change except that my children were slightly larger and didn’t really want me to be around as much as they used to. I didn’t know what to do. ...more
Its early morning over here in Indonesia and I stumbled upon this article, somehow I dont ...more

The Zoloft is working: Postpartum depression or whatever

I'm going to out myself here. My family has a long and robust tradition of depression, and I am no exception. I remember first drinking ink and eating staples at the age of 10. Many long years of symptoms and acting out and generally hating everything later, I went on Prozac briefly in college, when all the kids were doing it. It was kind of a revelation. Stuff just wasn't that difficult anymore. Really hard stuff, like getting out of bed or concentrating on reading for more than five minutes at a time totally got done without a second thought....more

Love it. And thanks for your kind words. Your path has been so complicated! Because, you know, ...more