Verified: I am a total wackjob

It’s kind of hard to talk about this but on some level I feel I should.  What I am about to tell you may change the way you think about me, but I hope it doesn’t.  I hope that it changes the way that you think about mental illness. Many of you know I have had health problems for the past two and a half years....more
I think you're incredibly brave to continue going to therapy, for facing the actual diagnosis, ...more

How do you help your sister with her mental illiness when you are mentally ill

What do you do for a sister that is mentally ill when you are mentally ill. No one heres your crys for help. People look at you with them eyes of disgust. Not knowing  what it feels like to be us. Who do you turn to for comfort when no one understand the illness that is inside ourselves. Turned away by society to be left alone in our pain. We did not make ourselves this way we were created this way by what we were taught. Our minds are all alone wondering how to act ,where to go,what to do in our lonley lives. This is all normal  for us in our world....more

When Your Family Turns On You

As a child I used to wish for a different family. I wanted to belong to anyone but the one I had. I was verbally and psychologically abused and bullied by a mother, uncle and various other relatives for having poor motor skills. That turned out to be Aspergers, a diagnosis that did not come out until I was 34. ...more

When Anxiety is Worn as a Badge

Life creates angst. ~ We feel it in our body. We feel it in our thoughts. We feel it in our emotions. Stress , left unprocessed, destroys from the inside out, and it seems nobody is immune to it. Since there are very few of us, who live life away from society, or meditating in caves , the vast majority of us will encounter stress in our lives.How we process stress, will significantly add to our days with peace, or take peace away from us in our days, through stress.Stressful , unexpected events do happen, and often there is little we can do except, accept the trauma, and deal with it....more
@Denise Thank you so much Denise.I look forward to connecting with you.more

Back to School Anxiety

Well Tomorrow Here in Oklahoma the wheels on the bus start rolling again. I am in a panic and I am not to sure why.  This year for me will be a little different as I will be home alone. I have a few things to fill my time with, but I can clean my house, write my blogs, and everything else that I do won't take me to long. I dont like being alone never have, never will. I am sort of in fear that my oldest daughter will be made fun of as well. She is quite bigger and takes after her daddy and is as tall as me. I get very angry when she tell's me she has been made fun of....more

lifes not a compotion

we learn a lot along the way of life its crazy how your friends feel like ta have to compet with you for no reason or how people think that they have to compet with you to make them selves feel better when  in reality its a compotion agenst them selves how do we help people learn its just life and no one is better or worse , it scucks that anxiety and panic attacks seem to be the result of everything that is about everyday life ive learnd to love who u are and once you do that it will change ur hole world...more

I am NOT weak

So one day I was watching an episode of Greys Anatomy (shhhh….don’t judge. I lasted long before I caved and started watching); someone was talking to Dr Shepherd and he called her weak because she was a drug addict. Then she went into this whole soliloquy (thank you Shakespeare for that awesome word) about how he needed not to remind her of the fact that she was an addict and then the awesome came. She told him off! That she was in fact not weak but really strong because she was in a hospital full of pills and not giving in….blah, blah, blah....more

Update

I have settled into a pretty good routine with a few adjustments to the medicines.  If I give myself credit this is progress.  I have been able to sleep pretty well on the 5 mg ambien instead of the 10 mg, and 1 mg of the blood pressure medicine that helps me stay asleep.  Still at the .5 xanax because the couple of times I have tried to lower or stop I end up not sleeping(I take it in the morning btw).  I still hope that I can make more adjustments to that and get to a point where I do not have to take it.  ...more

Busy days

May is a busy month for me.  The days seem so fast, yet slow as well.  Being a teacher this is my last few weeks with my kiddos.  I have mixed emotions, I have anxiety over how they will do in Kindergarten next year.  I worry that I have not done enough.  Its a really common feeling among us teachers.  ...more

Unsettled

I have made some adjustments in my medicines that I take for PTSD, GAD, and insomnia.  Nothing major, and overall I am pleased with the results.  I have been able to reduce my Ambien by half for the last 5 days, which I consider a major breakthrough.  If only I could get myself to sleep at night I think we would have one med knocked out completely!   ...more