You can’t even explain how you feel anymore, the thoughts are piling up inside your head. This pain hurts so bad that you can’t even bare, so you isolate yourself from everything. Standing there wondering if anyone cares. Things have been in darkness so long and all you want is an emotional break. Your destroying your body, trying to search for a peace that hasn’t been there in so long. This state of emotions can feel sad, empty, hopeless and helpless. ...more
So I'm in therapy.Ugh, therapy. I dread it as though it's an hour-long family reunion. All I can think of are the screaming kids, the awkward conversations with elders who couldn't hear your conversation with a bullhorn, the marshmallow and canned fruit "salad," and my uncle putting on a three-hour slide show of his world travels. Once I get there it isn't that bad of course (with the exception of the slideshow), but the anxiety I get leading up to it is enough to put in therapy. ...more
I wanted to share my story. Hopefully by sharing my story it will help someone. I have had panic/ Anxiety attacks for as long as I can remember. For years I thought I was crazy or going crazy because I would have these feelings or sensations that would happen out of no where. For a long time, Doctors couldn’t explain what I had… I wasn’t having an attack when I was in the doctor’s office…...more
Dear Anxiety,You had me going for a minute.I remember the first time you rudely introduced yourself (physically)back in 2011. I’ve mistaken you for a nervous breakdown, psychotic disorder, heart attack, and every neurological/psychological illness imaginable....more
I always keep my worries hidden. I mean, how do you explain to someone the conundrum of loving people and needing to be surrounded by people to be happy, but also that my deepest triggers are usually social situations? And those panic attacks? The only thing more terrifying than a panic attack is trying to explain to people what a panic attack feels like. The symptoms — a racing mind, heart, and difficulty breathing — can make you feel like you're going to faint, lose your mind. And die. Really fun....more
As someone who has spent 33 years with anxiety, I know how terrifying and frustrating it can be. My life with anxiety was so much more complicated than it is now. I was constantly worrying, catastrophizing every event, and generally feeling tired and cranky. My anxiety ruined nearly every day and several relationships, too.
That is, until I had a major panic attack in August 2015 that landed me in the ER, and I immediately realized that I had to change. Am I completely anxiety-free today? To put it simply, no.
Anxiety is something that I will always have, but now I have the tools to manage my anxiety and knowledge how to stave off or shorten any moments of anxiety I may incur. As we enter into 2016, instead of making the same cliché resolution to get healthy physically like we always do, let's make a resolution to get healthy mentally!
I've thought about how to write this a million times or who exactly to tell first, because I'm not normally one to tell a lot about myself. I've worried about how this is going to come across. Who will judge me? Who will empathize with me? Will you think I'm crazy?
Most importantly, will you think I'm trying to just get attention?
This post first appeared on Mona Andrei's personal blog, Moxie-Dude. Dear Barbara (because if she’s MY pretend therapist, I LIKE the name Barbara for a therapist – it suits her),I’m hoping that writing about the layer of neurosis that’s resting heavily on my soul will shine some light on it; and maybe even melt it away. I’m hopeful if nothing else. (30% hopeful; 95% nothing else. But I failed math so I suggest you don’t count on my stat skills.)...more
For as long as I can remember, I have been a riddled with anxiety. On the playground, I studied my tennis shoes with hopes I wouldn't be chosen for kickball. I sweated in the 40-degree weather with fear that my face would resemble a pug dog after one swift kick to my noggin.
Dodge Ball boosted my worries in middle school gym class. I cowered in the back corners pleading to get hit in the shoes because the other kids might not have a strong enough arm to reach me.
Please let me stay on the sidelines!
As time passes, it becomes much easier to see how hard we are on ourselves. We are all racing around, doing, getting, prepping, making, care-taking, and when we stop to enjoy the beauty of all of our creating, we are still plotting, planning, and scheduling our next moves. Why can’t we just…relax? My mind is constantly doing the same thing. I have to fight the impulse to stop the noise of it all. I call these my emotional freedom techniques. ...more
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