Oscar Like Thing Acceptance Speech 2009!

I tend to get painfully jealous of the Academy Award Winners.  I quelled it this year with an acceptance speech for an Oscar Like Thing of my very own. ...more

How I Spent My Valentine's Day. Full Story!!!

Most of the story, anyway.  Took place over 5 hours.  Details must be lost in the wash. I packed a backpack, suitcase, and the 5 foot canvas heart to bring to the space–(the Mission Cultural Center for Latino Arts). ...more

Self-centered Vapidity Unleashed!

I post ads on craigslist at times pointing them to this blog, as I’m interested in it being seen.  Today, I received 3 comments from an individual (one was an accidental double-submit, but it packed an extra punch!)  Basically, the gentleman told me my (he put the quotes in) “work” is futile and vapid, and to please give up being an artist because I have nothing to say, and my work is thus improper and “Not good enough!” ...more

A Sheep In The Flock.

  I’ve historically detested these surveys.  I’ve gleefully ranted against them, and now I am doing one.  Too many people I like tagged me on facebook, and I actually enjoyed reading theirs, so I said “well.. Ok.  If ya really, truly want to know.”  I said that aloud to myself whilst looking in the mirror. I wrote 24 things–it took some time, mind you!–and then my internet shut off, and I lost the whole concoction.   ...more

The Therapist Game.

The Therapist Game. Back when I drank, I used to love to play the Therapist Game. I’d get whoever I was talking to at a party to lie down and tell me all of his or her problems, and I’d stroke my chin and say “mm hm, mm hm” a lot and “it sounds like you’re feeling [fill in the blank]“. ...more

Childrens’ Underwear on my Head in the NYC subway.

When I turned 27, I decided that every day of my 27th year, I would perform somewhere. I decided I could do this anywhere for any duration, so long as I had an audience of at least one. ...more

Birthday Clown Panic Attack.

I’ve performed in all sorts of unlikely situations over the years, but I don’t think anything has induced sheer terror in me more than being a birthday clown. Rarely did I head to a birthday party without a tearful panic attack beforehand. My favorite bad clown story: ...more

I went on a Silent Date. Part 3.

I chose my favorite response and emailed him asking if he was available.  We met and had our date.  I wrote this entry immediately afterward. In spite of the fact I am a complete Spaz. ...more

Hopefully he won't remember the sweaty part.

http://armchairperformer.com

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