An article in the New York Times announced the good news: “Family time has grown.” Evidently, recent studies indicate parents are spending less time on housekeeping and more time with their children. There is no question housekeeping has flown out the window at our house, along with the mop, the laundry, and any semblance of order. But togetherness? Clearly, we weren’t included in the study.
A 42-year-old father in New Zealand is facing criminal charges he left his one-year-old baby alone in a car while he visited a strip club. The incident was reported to the authorities by a passer-by, who noticed the baby in the vehicle around 3 a.m. in the parking lot of the club. Authorities arrived within seven minutes, removed the child from the car and brought the baby to a hospital for observation. The child appears to be physically unharmed and is now being taken care of at another hospital while family members make arrangements for his care. The predictable route would be to rehash that a dad left his baby in a car while he went into a strip club, call out his lousy parenting, and then write it up with the requisite smug remark dooming the child's future.
As any new parent knows, a volume switch on a toy is your best
friend, because musical/speaking childrens’ toys are categorically
obnoxious and the sole variation in how desperately a toy makes you
want to jam an ice pick in your brain is how SCREAMINGLY it wails the
alphabet, or “Old MacDonald,” (and Christ, do I pity you poor
bastards,) that shiv-me-now Barbie theme.
It was a gorgeous day at Woodland Park Zoo, and by gorgeous I mean cool and overcast and threatening just
enough rain today to make it feel like we had the whole damn place to
ourselves, and that’s saying an awful lot on a summer day.
Even better? As soon as we walked into the west entrance, one of the
peacocks we often see was fully erect. Er, in total bloom, or plume.
Whatever, ALL HIS GODDAMN FEATHERS WERE OUT AND HE WAS PRETTY AS ALL