Does No Always Mean No?

No means no. Right? Of course it does, except when it doesn’t....more

Free Book Giveaway on Amazon!

Polyamourous, kinky, sex-positive author promoting an alternative to monogamous, vanilla living.My book "Polyamory and BDSM, Discoving Love, Sex, Vulnerability and Radical Honesty" is out on Amazon worldwide and it is available to download for free tomorrow, May 1st, for 24 hours! Available here: Amazon...more

50 Shades of Safety: A How To

So you watched 50 Shades of Grey and now you're curious? You've read my blog and you're curious? Or you really just have been curious from the beginning and you were too afraid to ask? That's okay. It happens. A lot of people are too afraid to admit their curiousity and are willing to jump in without realizing there is a right way and a wrong way....more

Kink Safely With RACK

RACK, or risk-aware consensual kink, is a system of steps which were collectively created by the kink community so everyone involved can more safely explore and experiment with fetishism, dark erotic fantasies or BDSM acts outside of whatever may be considered their normal routine....more

The Heart & Soul of Dominance and Submission: An Insider's Perspective

I accidentally crossed paths with my first Dominant online when I was going through a divorce seven years ago. My first thought was to run away fast: He must be some whip-toting freak with a dungeon in his basement. Fast-forward to today and I have three Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationships behind me (though I've had vanilla relationships, too), and I can honestly say that each relationship built on the former and has taught me profound things about my body, myself, and even life....more
Thanks ladies.  I really felt the need to speak to the depths of D/s -- it's about so much more ...more

50 Shades of My Opinion!

Fifty Shades of Grey comes out this weekend.  I confess, I've read the whole book series, and you know what? For the most part, I liked it.  Sure, it's not realistic, according to the true BDSM -ers (if you haven't checked out Fetlife.com, you don't know about serious BDSM -ers), but for us "mostly vanilla" folks, it's fun fantasy fodder (go me, with the alliteration!).  I know that when I first read it, and got to the "checklist," it caused quite a frank discussion among my lady-friends and my husband....more

FetLife and The Single Gal: Submissive Does Not Equal Doormat

So, I've been on FetLife for a little over two years now and some of the messages I get still surprise me. Even when the messages seem sensible, I check out their profile and am caught off-guard by how different it is from the message. I guess things shouldn't surprise me since new members are always joining (and there are douches everywhere), but they do....more
My ex-girlfriend has a sex addiction related to her sexual abuse as a teenager.  She is addicted ...more

Intimate Partner Abuse vs. BDSM: Kink Only Hurts When You Want It To

October is Domestic/Intimate Partner Awareness Month...more
Safe, sane, and consensual. Without ALL THREE of these aspects, an individual /couple is not ...more

How I Came to Domme

Ever had one of those experiences that changes your life? Gives you confidence, strength, and ultimate power? I have and [Aristotle] gave that to me. He handed it to me on a damn silver platter the moment he said he wanted to submit to me.For years, I have known that I have a dominant side in me. I've dabbled in topping and in masturbation control. It is a thrill that I feel deep inside when a man begs for my permission, generosity or mercy.But this is what I've wanted; what I've craved....more

A Beginner's Guide to Ropes and Restraints

I remember the first time my partner and I went shopping for rope at our local adult store. A kindly-looking woman my mother’s age showed us a fine selection of ropes, leathers, and tape and then, laughing, said, “That’ll make sure her cute ass can’t escape!”I could tell it was gonna be awesome....more