FetLife and The Single Gal: Submissive Does Not Equal Doormat

So, I've been on FetLife for a little over two years now and some of the messages I get still surprise me. Even when the messages seem sensible, I check out their profile and am caught off-guard by how different it is from the message. I guess things shouldn't surprise me since new members are always joining (and there are douches everywhere), but they do....more
Great read. Interesting how even FetLife brings the worst out of people.more

Intimate Partner Abuse vs. BDSM: Kink Only Hurts When You Want It To

October is Domestic/Intimate Partner Awareness Month...more
Safe, sane, and consensual. Without ALL THREE of these aspects, an individual /couple is not ...more

How I Came to Domme

Ever had one of those experiences that changes your life? Gives you confidence, strength, and ultimate power? I have and [Aristotle] gave that to me. He handed it to me on a damn silver platter the moment he said he wanted to submit to me.For years, I have known that I have a dominant side in me. I've dabbled in topping and in masturbation control. It is a thrill that I feel deep inside when a man begs for my permission, generosity or mercy.But this is what I've wanted; what I've craved....more

A Beginner's Guide to Ropes and Restraints

I remember the first time my partner and I went shopping for rope at our local adult store. A kindly-looking woman my mother’s age showed us a fine selection of ropes, leathers, and tape and then, laughing, said, “That’ll make sure her cute ass can’t escape!”I could tell it was gonna be awesome....more

The Journey Into BDSM 'Subspace'

Sometimes, you have to allow your sexual journey to flow. Other times, you have to grab it by the balls and say "I'm going to get laid". It was more the latter of those choices when I decided to say "Yes" and get together with [Mostly Harmless]....more
A great read!  People who are into kink function differently in the bedroom...although a lot of ...more

Vee

Margie moved in with Vee after a few more chanting sessions with the Buddha Life group.  They were all very happy to have her join, yet Margie couldn’t help but approach the whole scenario cautiously. By that time, she’d become aware that she was being monitored, but not understanding why, or by whom – only that it began when she’d first joined the game “Dream Life” – and worsened after she left her husband, Pete....more

My Obsession with BDSM: I Wanted It To Be Dangerous

As a teenager, I hadn’t given much thought to power games, though I played them all the time. I was the one who taped the proverbial “kick me” sign on the back of the cheerleader who snubbed me, and hid the clothes of a guy who groped me in a hot tub. If someone got the better of me, I stewed about it for days, dreaming up paybacks. ...more
Its one of my many fetishes. #fetishistmore

50 Shades of BDSM For Beginners

When the 50 Shades of Grey novels first started becoming popular, some of my friends who are in theBDSM scene (and have been for years) were excited that their particular brand of play was getting some national attention. But that joy quickly faded when they realized something– while housewives all over the country were getting their jollies off on these books, they weren’t portraying realistic, and, more importantly, healthy BDSM relationships....more
I find that I am increasingly irritated that BDSM/fetishists are being lumped into this general ...more

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

One thing that has been glaringly obvious for me, as a person of color in the kink community, is the scarcity of other POC in the kink/fetish community.  I had been lurking on a well-known lifestyle website for almost a year before I met anyone in person and the messages I had gotten ranged from slightly creepy to downright offensive. I got countless messages from people interested in race-play and although some people are into that, I'm not one of those people. I even made a point to include the words "No Race Play" on my profile as a deterrent....more

Once You Go Kink, You Never Go Back?

Yesterday, one of my patients coded in an ICU room one floor above my granny’s own ICU room. I was on hour 14 of my work day. My body was tired and my mind was fried, racing with random stressors… you’ve lost one grandmother this year already, it’s too soon to lose another… stop to pay the deposit on the graduation venue tomorrow after work… compliance training is due tomorrow, final warning… where is your period? Oh. The patient. This script has been on a cruel, everlasting loop in my brain for the last couple weeks. Emotionally, I’m fragile. Sexually, I’m frustrated. ...more