Sense of Self

The air is still and blankets all my sense.I'm muffled, muzzled in the sheltering darkBut dare not hope for fire, with bright, intense,loud flames that rend the silence with a spark.I breathe or not. It's sometimes hard to tellWhen swathed in dimness. Stifling, musty scentFills up my nostrils and my brain as well –Which cannot will the veil be shredded, rentto save from suffocation. How shall IWithstand this cycle till the day appearsAnd breezes blow the dust away from myStopped ears and eyes and lungs, plugged full with fears?...more

The Middle of the Ocean

People keep asking what they can do for me. I don’t know what to tell them.When you are in the middle of a severe depressive episode, you don’t know what to ask for....more
Tired of swimming too.  Thanks for writing this.  It's perfectmore

Worry Dolls

I remember being younger and starting to struggle with my feelings.I was a preteen. I was on the brink of puberty and my hormones were at war inside of my body.I would creep into my local “holistic healing” store with my mother and buy all sorts of things that she thought would help with my attitude, because that’s what it was at the time. I had a severe attittude problem. I would lash out, scream, cry, say terrible things to my parents. When I got overly frustrated with myself, I would hit myself on the head, or hit my head against a wall. Over and over and over again....more

On being a mother with bipolar disorder

When people hear that I am a blogger, they always ask what I write about. This is a tricky question because I don’t actually know at any given time and so I usually just give a glazed over answer of “mothering with bipolar disorder”. If this doesn’t scare them away immediately, they might ask what IS it like to be a mother with bipolar disorder.This is actually a great question.Because I never thought about it before I started this blog....more

My First Psychiatric Evaluation

People, people like you people, are always telling me how brave I am for sharing my stories; my stories of struggle, of failure, of fear, of joy.I am not brave. I am broken.And those aren’t even the worst and scariest stories.This one is. Two years ago, I was unmedicated. I was beyond depressed. I was no longer responding to the life around me....more
I totally agree with you that the "mental health" system is broken. There are more and more of ...more

Stifle

Those that follow us on Facebook know that a few months ago Liam was almost hospitalized. Thankfully he wasn't, but it was close. Afterwards we got him in to see a child psychiatrist whom diagnosed him as Bipolar, ODD, OCD tendencies and Anxiety. All of this on top of Autism, ADHD, and SPD. ...more

To Medicate or NOT to Medicate

WE ARE USING MEDICATIONS~ Yes, you read that right. the mother who was vehemently against medicating children, has put her child on meds. I was always against medicating my son. He was diagnosed with ADHD before he was diagnosed with Autism, and I told the pediatrician from the get go, NO MEDS. As the years have gone by and as I have watched my child struggle, pita and I started to actually entertain the idea.... ...more

No, I'm Not Pregnant. I'm Just Gaining Weight from the Pills

HEY. Listen. I am trying really hard down here. I am back on the pills. I am taking the damn pills. ...more
I feel you.  I have had some stern conversations with doctors about the side effects of ...more

AD/HD precedes symptoms of mental disorders in children

New research from Wayne State University School of Medicine indicates that attention deficits (ADD and ADHD) are central to mental disorders like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. In fact, the attention deficits are believed to precede the manifestation of symptoms of the other illnesses....more

The Art of Bipolar

Writing has saved me. I cannot tell you how healing its medicine is, and what a release it is to be able to let go of all of these dormant, rotting thoughts left inside for far too long. I know that words have saved me before, when I was younger - back when I would relay my suicidal sufferings through stream-of-consciousness writings, or stay up all night, writing my simple poetry. Those simple poems were my simple savior. For whatever reason, writing is the form of art that forces its way through, demands to be seen, and accepts no resistance that I may put up against it....more