Out of the House – At Last

If everything goes according to plan (which we all know it never does), this post will be publishing itself while I am at or on my way to a scenic location, Brandywine Falls in Cuyahoga National Park.I was attracted to this particular location when I read on the Internet that, in addition to access via a 1.75-mile hiking trail, the falls could also be reached using a wooden boardwalk from a nearby parking lot....more

How I Learned a Few Social Skills

I thought my social skills were bad until I encountered a woman who asked me, "Do you have mental problems?" (She recognized me from our mutual psychiatrist's waiting room, but still....)With practice, however, I have been able to improve my casual conversation skills, at least enough to get by in some situations, as long as they don't last more than an hour. Here are my secrets. They do take practice. I have been fortunate to have had people to practice with – friends, coworkers, and of course my husband....more

Bipolars, Rollercoasters, and Sex

The rollercoaster is the most common metaphor for bipolar disorder. But is it really the best one?...more

Mental Illness - 30 Years And Counting

As a child, mental illness was not discussed although it was all around. Alcoholism. Depression. Anxiety. If you look at my family’s health history, we might have amazing cholesterol numbers and fabulous blood pressure, but our brains are fucked. It seems statistically impossible to escape mentally unscathed. ...more
It does help to get a diagnosis. You now know what you are fighting against and what you can try ...more

Accepting Bipolar Dagnosis, Accepting Others Will Not

In 2011, I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, PTSD ,depression, with anxiety. Understand that there is a whole other element with in this mental health issue that I have.  I have had as of today's date three strokes. So that also affects my mental well being. I digress though, while I was diagnosed in 2011, I didn't believe it. That would mean I was crazy right. No the doctors are all wrong. They said I wouldn't see as well as I do talk walk after the first stroke. Look at me now I would think. For years. Then well the inevitable happens. You finally push everyone away....more

Sense of Self

The air is still and blankets all my sense.I'm muffled, muzzled in the sheltering darkBut dare not hope for fire, with bright, intense,loud flames that rend the silence with a spark.I breathe or not. It's sometimes hard to tellWhen swathed in dimness. Stifling, musty scentFills up my nostrils and my brain as well –Which cannot will the veil be shredded, rentto save from suffocation. How shall IWithstand this cycle till the day appearsAnd breezes blow the dust away from myStopped ears and eyes and lungs, plugged full with fears?...more

The Middle of the Ocean

People keep asking what they can do for me. I don’t know what to tell them.When you are in the middle of a severe depressive episode, you don’t know what to ask for....more
Tired of swimming too.  Thanks for writing this.  It's perfectmore

Worry Dolls

I remember being younger and starting to struggle with my feelings.I was a preteen. I was on the brink of puberty and my hormones were at war inside of my body.I would creep into my local “holistic healing” store with my mother and buy all sorts of things that she thought would help with my attitude, because that’s what it was at the time. I had a severe attittude problem. I would lash out, scream, cry, say terrible things to my parents. When I got overly frustrated with myself, I would hit myself on the head, or hit my head against a wall. Over and over and over again....more

On being a mother with bipolar disorder

When people hear that I am a blogger, they always ask what I write about. This is a tricky question because I don’t actually know at any given time and so I usually just give a glazed over answer of “mothering with bipolar disorder”. If this doesn’t scare them away immediately, they might ask what IS it like to be a mother with bipolar disorder.This is actually a great question.Because I never thought about it before I started this blog....more