This is morning number two. Two day's two nights up, suffering with dillusional ego tripping mania. Firs of all The pharmacy gave me a generic brand of one of my medications, and i took it. well I slowly went mad. I went even more manic when i switched back to the regular pills I take. Crying in fear I my go to the dark side....more
The body lies still before the panic. The face get’s numb, the hand’s, the full metal jacket. The attack is breathless. Feeing like heart failure. Leaving the body lost. Bi Polar is like an animal clawing it’s self out it’s cage. In summary, thing’s are more worse than you may realize. Unable to breathe. My lung’s are full of your guilt. I’ve reached my limit. I’m going to choke. Detect my tears before they fall, for falling means failing, and failing is worse than dyeing....more
The in home therapist's visit was today. My son screamed and threw a tantrum almost the entire time. What a difference from the last two visits. He is definitely cycling with his moods. There was nothing we could do for him. We were in the same room, so we let him cry it out. I would go over to him every little while and try to talk to him or offer him something to do, but nothing worked. Eventually, he came over to me, crawled into my lap, and that was it. All smiles, talking, as if nothing had happened. Just an amazing behavior....more
Sometimes I wonder if I've inherited my dad's (still undiagnosed) bi polar tendencies. At 4am, I woke up with a low blood sugar and....a kind of blissful, content feeling, like everything was okay again and I could really DO this. How can my moods change this dramatically, this quickly? My husband's not joking about whiplash!
Today was another better day, although the family's germs have caught up with me, turning into a sore throat and mucus for me. Yuck. I'm trying cayenne pepper gargle to see if it helps. Here's hoping.