"It's Only a TV Show": Why I Can't Watch #Scandal

I jumped on the #Scandal bandwagon pretty late.  Halfway through season two, I started buying season one episodes on Amazon Prime, and my husband and I binged watched. I was particularly fond of the messes Olivia and the Gladiators tackled each week; they were both believable and outrageous, and made for great TV. The back-stories of the Gladiators were fascinating as well....more

Crazy Things I Believed When I Was Manic or Depressed Which Were Later Proved Untrue

Crazy Things I Believed When I Was Manic or Depressed Which Were Later Proved Untrue Crazy stuff. Commonly crazy stuff that I don’t even begin to understand. At different points in my life I’ve believed these things. I’m not making them up. The message of this is if you have bipolar disorder or serious depression, hang in there. Crazy Stuff I Believed When I was Manic Which Later Proved to be Untrue 1.  I thought I was some kind of Messiah. Since I’m not a Christian, I’m not certain which kind of Messiah I was supposed to be. Maybe the Richard Bach of Illusions fame type? But in reality, I’m not a Messiah. Just a girl with bipolar disorder.2. I thought I was a Vampire even though I didn’t even have any hickeys on me at the time. And I’m doubtful that any of my high school hickeys that I had was from a Vampire. Just a hickey from a Loser because only Losers give hickeys, right?3. I was obsessed about two different individuals who knew it and know it. This is scary. This finished right after the episodes because I was depressed and felt so incredibly low to the ground. It wasn’t like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It was more creepy like: “You are the one for me.” Icky and embarrassing. I’m happy to say that I’m on speaking terms with both of the guys years later. 4. I thought my life was in danger and that I could protect myself with a sarong and a motorcycle jacket. It must have worked because I’m still alive, right? 5.  I thought that the deoderant Secret was meant especially for me because I had all of these secrets.  ...more

Living with Bipolar Disorder - Part 1

I was having a conversation with a co-worker about the season finale of Empire.  If you watched season 1 you know that the character Andre has a severe form of bipolar disorder.  During the season finale his wife told him that she's pregnant. ...more

I'm Here, I Exist

When I tell someone I have bipolar 2 disorder, the shock that comes across his or her face often takes me aback.If they know me, their shock is a tad annoying. What does me saying I have bipolar disorder change for them? What does the admission trigger in their mind about what someone with bipolar is supposed to look like, supposed to be like? How am I so different from what they expect?...more

The Other Side of Here

I wasn't stunned. When I heard the news about Robin William's passing - I wasn't stunned. I wasn't shocked or surprised like everyone else. I watched the news start rolling through my twitter and facebook feeds. I sat there, shaking my head, because I know. I just know. Robin Williams has long been one of my favorite actors. Dead Poets Society is one of my top five movies of all time. I loved the diversity in his talent. That he could play a serious role just as well as a comedic one. And even though I'm not famous I kind of get where he was coming from. ...more

Book Review: Too Fast by Alexia Haynes

Title: Too FastAuthor: Alexia HaynesCopyright date: 2013Genre: Adult Romance / EroticaSold by: Sold by:...more

For Those Who Suffer...

So many things have stirred in my mind as I watch people analyze and speculate and diagnose yet another disturbed young man who did the unthinkable. For years I have worked behind the scenes to redefine the stigma attached to mental illness, and how easily we all throw around the terms crazy and insane in defining or judging those we do not understand. I have been warned many times that by coming out or speaking publicly I will be stigmatized, hold myself up to public scrutiny or possibly be unemployable, unmarriable or shunned by society....more

What's in the Bag?

I think there's a disconnect between people knowing I have bipolar disorder and me whipping out my pillbox, which is exactly what I do after every meal I eat.A woman's purse is a mystery to men. My husband and I were married about 5 years before he ever went in there. Now he boldly goes where no man's gone before - when he really wants a piece of gum....more

When the Lights Go Out: Coping with Loss After Suicide

(edit: This post was written on my personal blog, www.anchorsaweighblog.com, on Monday, April 16, 2012.)Yesterday, a sweet friend of mine from high school passed away. I am too young for this. Too young to know what it’s like to lose so many of my friends in this life. Especially Mikey. His death could have been prevented. ...more