The Myth of Birth Mothers as a Hot Mess: Debunked

I am a birth mother. Most of you know this, but if you don't: I had a child when I was 15 and placed my daughter with an adoptive family. She will be 16 this November. There is a re-occurring theme for birth mothers that, quite frankly, is exhausting and just a tad infuriating. And that theme is: all birth mothers are a hot mess. ...more
I am so glad you wrote this!  I have a 1 year old daughter who was adopted, and neither her ...more

My Birth Mother Doesn't Like the Term “Birth Mother”

One of the first commonalities that my birth mother and I discovered when we reestablished contact shortly after my 30th birthday is that we are both wordy people: readers, writers, storytellers. So it was perhaps inevitable that we would eventually get into a discussion of the language of adoption. She and I have many things in common, but one thing we differ on is the word “birth mother.” She doesn’t like it. I’m rather fond of it....more
You're a writer, and yet this: "the word 'birth mother.'” Egad.more

How Season 2 of Glee Really Let Me Down

I initially balked at season 2 of Glee. I argued in a few early season posts with some other Gleeks. I claimed that the writer's total lack of attention to Quinn's post-relinquishment issues was a slap in the face to every birth mother (and adoptee) who watches the show. Others argued back that it was early in the season, that I should give it time. I eventually gave up on the season -- mainly because of the torture that was the Rocky Horror episode but also because I was peeved about the Juno treatment that they gave the show....more
@Jane Byers Goodwin Ugh. This comment contains every reason why I continue to blog: to combat ...more

Birthmother's Day: Separate and Not Equal but Maybe Okay

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. That means today -- the day before Mother's Day -- is Birthmother's Day. Started in 1990 by a group of birthmothers in Seattle, it is a day set aside to honor the love, sacrifice and loss that mothers who relinquish their children for adoption feel and experience. As a birth mother, I should love this day. The truth is that I don't quite know how I feel about this day....more
I'd never heard of Birth Mother's Day. After reading your posts and comments, I feel much like ...more

Parenting After Adoption Loss: Things I Won't Say

After my first parented son was born, my Grandma called to check on us. I talked about how exhausted I was and how I just wanted to sleep but, oh, he was so very perfect. She quipped, "So you're gonna keep him then?" My breath caught in my throat. ...more

Please Share Your Story on October 24th

Mothers who place their children for adoption are often overlooked in many areas. However, one area I think that we need to be paying special attention to is how post-partum depression is effecting the lives of these new birth mothers. Often times the emotional ups and downs are written off as a normal part of the grieving process that follows the relinquishment of a child. While this may be true in some case, it's not the case for some women. ...more