I Got 31 Botox Injections for My Chronic Migraines

I've been a migraine sufferer my entire adult life.  In an effort to cure, treat and/or combat these debilitating 'Headaches From Hell,' I've tried everything: meds (a variety of preventives, beta-blockers & painkillers), acupuncture, insanely strict diets, physical therapy, chiropractic adjustments...you name it.  At this point, if you told me that drinking cows blood would fix this faulty brain o' mine, I'd do it.  ...more

Does Your Personality Need A Little Nip Tuck?

Cosmetic surgery is overrated. While smaller noses and bigger boobs have their place in society, neither contribute directly to the mission of creating a harmonious, cooperative world. A co-worker with calf implants won’t make the work day easier, but you know what will? A co-worker with common sense implants. Enter: Character Surgery.Imagine the possibilities.A little nip here for tempering those passive-aggressive tendencies; a little tuck there for improving a woeful sense of humor....more

Is that Botox or Is Your Face Frozen?

Dear Mouthy Housewives, My friend has been overdoing the Botox lately. She's a beautiful woman but it's becoming hard to recognize her. Her face doesn't move. I asked her once about it and she claims that she doesn't have anything done. Should I just drop it? She's not looking great anymore. Signed,Wrinkles ________________________________________________________________...more
I got my 4th round of Botox 2 weeks ago. I would never use Groupon to get any facial procedures. ...more

38Long is the New 38C

I've always been one of those natural chicks... never really saw the need for a boob job. It just seemed odd to me, having someone stuff plastic chicken cutlets into my body... let's face it... mostly for someone else's enjoyment. I guess they're all they're cracked up to be, when it comes to self-esteem. But my self-esteem has always been pretty low, and no amount of stuffing was going to help that mess. So it seemed like a futile endeavor....more

It is Easy to Say NO to Botox

A Year in the Exwife Life

Exwifenewlife is officially one year old!!   No autographs please, and Lisa Kudrow have your agent call my agent if you would like to play me in the movie.  You too Julia Roberts.  Yes Brad, you can play my love interest, but I don't want all those brats hanging around the set.   How did you get my number anyway?...more

Ballistic for Holistic

I have never bought into the whole holistic thing.  I just never thought sitting crossed legged on the floor intoning "OHHHHMMMMMMMM" would really get rid of my headache or relieve my stress.  I actually tried a meditation group once, and found there was no way I could close my eyes surrounded by a group of people with bare feet.  My paranoia kicked in and I knew while  I was sitting there like an idiot with my eyes closed, everybody was pointing at me and laughing....more

Paralyzing Injections – Do Young Women Need Them?

By Cynthia RowlandWhat a racket!...more


The other day I was driving to the gym (PSYCH!) and I saw one of our gorgeous, big Florida birds walking along the side of the road,  dragging something behind him.  It took me a minute to realize it was his wing, barely still attached to his otherwise intact body.  OMG I panicked.  Maybe I DO step over the homeless people in New York, although one time I did give one an unopened jar of black olive tapenade that the guy in the salami store had thrown in my bag by accident. I hate tapenade of any kind....more

Cosmetic Dermal Fillers: Don’t Mess with My Emotions!

I used to think dermal fillers & injectables were cosmetic candy and admittedly, I’m no stranger to cosmetic surgery, though I’ve never had work done on my face. But I caved. It was a week before my wedding and I wanted to look perfect in every way, so I did it; I had cosmetic dermal filler injections to diminish my wrinkles. ...more
My mom gets fillers all the time but I think it takes away the warmth of when she smiles- call ...more