I knew it was over by New Year’s Eve.
We were in Vegas visiting Alan’s younger brother. Alan and I had been together for a year — well, together on and off. Off because we kept breaking up. The last time was because he’d expected me to pay for our trip to Mexico since I’d invited him to come along with my friends. It wasn’t so much the money — I was fine with paying my own way! — it was the expectation. But then one day, a month after the split, he showed up at my door looking all sexy and churlish and next thing I knew we were back together.
“Love me like you loved me when you loved me and you didn’t have to try.” Luke Bryan I lost a friend this week and it really sucks. Being new in a community and being a single mom, I don’t come by friends easily. I don’t have time to get out and make friends. I’m always at work or with my son. I met this man online and immediately liked him. He made me grin, think and relax, and I know that I did the same for him....more
Most of all, thank you for leaving me the blanket for when I curl up on the couch to sleep tonight, my laptop at my side, a pile of books at hands’ reach -- the way you first found me, only so much more. You leave me as more, not less, because of your refusal to let me leave that first time I tried -- the second and third, so long ago now -- when I was terrified of closeness. You taught me that closeness was possible. You taught the wildfire the beauty of a hearth. And maybe I'm not meant to be a hearth, but now I know what it means to be a safe place even as I rush across Sepulveda Pass.
A tear cut down my cheek in silence, like one more golden bead along the side of the glass. It fell on my plate and slid toward the sauce. I looked at it vacantly and I thought about how Rodrigo didn't really need me. I thought about how logical he was. How he didn't require me to emote, how he'd never chastised me for being "remote" or "too logical." I thought about how he knew to leave me alone. Were these bad things? Had we traded in intimacy for a sense safety in one another?
I met with Dog-Guy the other morning and he was doing surprisingly well considering first undergoing a vivisection, then a steam-rolling due to last Wednesdays's break-up. They had been living together for just 2 months . He had moved 6 hours south to be with her and spent over 3000 euros in equipment in order to continue his pedigree breeding business. She was 43, had a 7 year old child, looked like Glenn Close with a bad haircut, and spent 2 thousand euros-a-month of his money on shopping, all the while simultaneously receiving texts on her cel....more
It's ironic really, I post a profile on a web-dating site and despite the interest, I still never end up leaving the house (especially to go on dates) or do much of anything for that matter. My apartment is currently in a state reminiscent of a frat-house, and the small human head-size dust bunnies scurrying over my ugly ceramic floors consisting of about 80% dog hair - I believe will morph any day now and start growing eyes and teeth. I can only imagine what biological nightmares are breeding in my bathroom as my toilet looks cleaner than my sink....more
What do you do when the man you're still in love with keeps popping up? You want to run, but you want to revel. You want to kick his ass, but you want to kiss him. You're not the kind of friends who can make small talk. There's never the time or place to have The Talk. So ... what do you do when your social and professional circles overlap?
For those of us who have been divorced, indubitably at one time or another, we turn the magnifying glass on ourselves and question our judgment. We scrutinize every move, every red flag missed, every sign we ignored. I [thought I] wanted something, I tried it, I gave it my best, and it didn’t work out [according to original plan]. It doesn’t really matter the reason – I thought “forever and always” and instead I got “until now.” ...more