So I had to take my parents' car away (and how Uber and Lyft saved the day)

This is the first in a series of posts about taking care of my parents at a time when their mental and physical health has first become a challenge. It's time we coin this movement and "thing," what I'll call upparenting.This year my very independent mom's doctor ordered she stopped driving. Imagine, you grow up somewhere like LA where a car is nearly a birthright. And no one walks. Suddenly you can't drive....more

We All Become Orphans at Some Point

I’ve been thinking of my grandfather lately, which is odd because he passed away two decades ago and I haven’t thought much about him since. The ugly truth is that his death didn’t really affect me, and it wasn’t all that surprising.Though my grandfather was only 69 at the time, he had already suffered one heart attack and had developed emphysema caused by years of smoking a pipe. A number of his siblings had already died of heart disease....more
LanaL  I'm sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. It's hard to imagine a world without parents ...more

Take It Back

The phone rang.            “Hello?”            “My doctor thinks it’s Parkinson’s.”            The five words travelled across my Eustachian tubes, dropped behind my uvula, and tumbled through my esophagus into my duodenum.            “Oh.”            “Will you dri...more

Potatoes on the Go!

My Dad lived alone for many years, and was very independent in his nature, which intensified as he aged. Eventually, we all lived together, yet he retain his independent habits for as long as he possibly could. He didn't like to be bothered by the physical constraints of life, such as eating, as it was inconvenient. He had places to go and things he wanted to do....more
@KarenLynnn :) Thank you, Thank you for your sweet words, Karen Lynn. Everything I know about ...more

Giving Up Grandpa

I will soon have to change the "about me" section of my blog.  The thing that half defined my existence is changing, morphing, moving on. My mother, who unfortunately seems to be exhibiting more and more of those genetic symptoms of dementia that claimed my grandmother's soul has dropped a proverbial bomb on us.  I knew that having her and my dad under one roof gave us the best chance at fending off their spending any of their la...more

As Our Parents Age


You Are Not Alone: Build A Care Team

Having worked with many family caregivers who want to help their loved ones stay independent and in their home as long as possible, I noticed they share the commonality of significant stress.  Family caregivers are trying to respect the wishes of their loved ones while keeping them safe and physically and mentally healthy as possible.  Time is limited because the family caregivers are working, managing their households, and now their parents’ households.  They feel alone as they are concerned about their aging loved one.  Often they lose hope as their li...more

Weekly Comfort: Next Time

We can be so generous in the chances we give to others. We are quick to help a friend feel better who at times can’t be as supportive as we’d like, to extend a good wish to someone who took a bad day out on us, to accept a hug from someone who may have hurt us. The ability to accept another’s imperfections speaks so well of us. We can give another another chance. Why, then, do we hesitate to be as accepting of our own imperfections? Why do we withhold another chance from ourselves?...more


Oh, the fights! You may feel like you fight with your family members, with the health care providers, with the dratted folding wheelchair. The worst fights, though, may be the ones you have with yourself. The internal battles over what’s best, what’s right, and what’s next can exhaust and sometimes paralyze. You may get so caught up in your internal war that you lose sight of your external wins–your caree is safe, has the care he or she needs, and has an advocate (you) to ensure the safety and care continue....more

Employee Caregivers in the Workplace

Family members who work full time, care for an elderly loved one, and have a family of their own (children and a spouse) are among the fastest growing segment in our population today. The burden family caregivers carry is straining and very few complain, feeling it is an obligation. They are in it for the family. There are no perks or kudos expected; it’s done from the heart....more